Katie,
I’m not dating now, but I text son pictures of me being out with friends (even with their spouses), so he knows I have a social life. The last thing I want is for him to worry about me!
I’m so old fashioned, my son never met a male friend in our house until I was engaged. No more on public board, trust me, I put my son first.
@conmama, Thanks! On the ride down, I kept glancing over at son and seeing the little toddler who curled up in my arms, or the grade school soccer player, or the boy who lived in his Buzz Lightyear Halloween costume. The pre drop off phase is definitely bittersweet.
I dream about my kids, a lot. When I wake up, I feel very lonely. Last night, I had a dream in which my dad appeared. He’s been dead for 11 years. In the dream, I realized that I needed to take advantage of the chance to spend time with him, because he’s no longer alive. It was very bittersweet, as all my dreams tend to be these days.
Last year on drop-off day, I found a rack at the nearby Walmart with $1.00 miss-you cards. They weren’t too corny so I bought 5 or 6 of them and sent one once in a while or included them in a package.
Today I noticed that my daughter had kept them all, along with other cards she received last year.
I just went shopping on Amazon for a few little kitchen things that I know she’ll like. $13.56 postage paid for a thingie that you put in the pot when you boil eggs to show when they are soft/medium/hard and an egg slicer. (She is living in a campus apartment with kitchen this year.) We have both at home and she uses them here. I know she won’t have bought them already for herself and she’ll definitely like them. So seize the moment if you happen to come across something you know will put a smile on your kid’s face when s/he gets it in the mail.
@rosered55, I wonder what your dream about your dad is trying to tell you. We lost my mom before my son was born. My sister had dreams about her all the time, but I never did. Except once. I was being particularly brutal to a trainee at work and Mom popped into my dream to remind me that the young are to be guided and nurtured, not berated. I got nicer at work, and haven’t heard from Mom since. Dreams are curious things.
I had a dream the other night that our family was traveling with d’s boyfriend and family. We were in our former motor home, which was the source of many fun family trips. Oddly , everyone was in the present with the exception of daughter, who was a toddler again. I think that was coming from nostalgia and wishing she wasn’t really 18 
Today was our drop off day. I feel like others did this today too??
Honestly, this drop off in terms of dorm stuff was the easiest of all three. The college did an AMAZING job of organizing the procedure. It’s a small private in Ohio, but all three of mine attended small privates in Ohio and NONE were this wonderful! Quick and easy pick up and key pick up. Pulled both our cars up behind the dorm and in less than 10 minutes students unloaded and carried all her stuff up the stairs while we moved the cars to a lot across the street. Wow, it was wonderful!
I saw the first real emotion from this D2 a couple of days ago when she cried a bit over leaving our dog. 
It was kind of adorable. Today made me realize what great kids I am lucky to have - S who is a second year teacher gave up one of his last days off this summer to come and move her in. Her sister, D1, lives in the same city as this college and took time off from her job to come and help. And tonight, S who has his own apartment, INSISTED on staying here at our house tonight to keep us company. That touched my heart. <3
As I hugged D2 to say “goodbye for now”, I told her that if I could start back at day 1 with her I’d do it in a heartbeat. And I truly, truly would!
Best of luck to those who are “next”. 
@abasket, Ahhh, what a sweet family you got there. Thanks for another update. I’m glad it went so well for you.
@abasket, mine was yesterday, too. I went to bed uneasy last night. Tuesday night I felt very sad helping him pack up. I know DH was feeling the same as he carried it all down and packed the van. I told him this was one of the saddest things I have ever done. I never let DS see though.
We all 3 got up early yesterday to beat the crowd, which we did. The school is a big flagship about 90 minutes away, and where DH and I met as freshman…so we love it. His roommate, who he does not know, wasn’t coming until the afternoon. This gave us time to put his stuff away, then we started walking around campus. Went to health center to show him pharmacy and drop off prescriptions, then library to find the floor with all the private study rooms.
We could tell DS was extremely anxious, more than we have ever seen him. Everyone likes him, he’s an easygoing guy…but he lacks some self confidence. He never felt that urge to leave home, or distant himself from us, but doesn’t want to be left behind either. As the day progressed it seemed to be getting worse, we even stopped to get him some pepto bismal tablets, which he’s never taken begore. During lunch, he ran into his GF and others, and decompressed immediately. He found out his roomie was ther and wanted to go back. We went and they met, they had texted a couple times. He seemed like a nice kid. We finally left, very uneasy.
So, we got home and were fighting the sense of loss at our quiet empty house, but more than that…worried. So, we finally got a text at 7. He said this.
Roommate is cool! Very nice polite guy! I walked around by myself looking for people and it was an extremely lonesome feeling, I realized how much I really miss you both. But I saw GF and a few other of my friends walking around! It’s been nice so far, I’ll keep in touch and call. Love you both.
It made us feel better and worse at the same time. Imagining him walking around feeling lonesome killed me, but DH thinks it probably really dawned on him that he was in the unfamiliar dorm, not knowing this person he’s going to live with, and he doesn’t get to come home and felt really alone at that moment. It’s probably different if you know your roomie and can hang out with them at the beginning…it was for me.
So, I have to go to work today, and dread coming home to this empty house.
@abasket…I just want to say that I think what your son did, coming home for that first night, was so sweet. I was hoping my older son would stay and go back to him U today, but he wanted to go Tuesday…which I totally understood, all his friends had gone back. But, i was secretly hoping he would stay. I thought it would make that first night easier, which it would have.
How are you doing, conmama?
@lasMa…better. We were playing text tag yesterday trying to find a common time to call, but he was so busy we couldn’t. It sounded like his day was full. I think and hope he settled down from move-in day somewhat. I’m looking forward to talking to him to see how things went.
You know the feeling you have when you are working, and feel the need to just get home even as you are doing errands, and you know they don’t really need you to be there? Well, how long does that last? dH doesn’t get home for 4 hours after me, so I have lots of free time…but after decades of feeling my presence is needed, it will be weird not having that.
I"d also like to add that yesterday it was the first time in probably over a decade I brought in the garbage bins. Blah.
Over the years, like all kids, my son changed considerably. The two year old was not the same young man we dropped off at school the other day. So while I really miss the young adult that has been around for the past couple of years, additionally, I find myself really missing the baby, the toddler, the child, pre-teen, etc. It seems that perhaps because it was gradual, there was never was a point in time where I dealt with these times and said, for example, “ok, he is no longer a baby, he is now a toddler - the baby has left the house.” To say it differently, through the years he transitioned from an infant to a young adult and there was never a formal recognition for the passing from one stage to the next. Now he’s not here, and I feel like like I am in a period of mourning for all these kids that are now only present in memory and I am dealing with the loss of all them at once. Again, I miss the young adult but also all those other little people, too. It seems like that is making it harder for me. Curious if anybody else feels this way.
@StewyGriffin, Yes. When son was around 13, I kept dreaming of losing him while we were out in public, except I eventually realized the son I kept losing wasn’t 13. He was more like 8 or 9. I started realizing I was missing all the little boys he used to be. You know what? I bet that is why we are so anxious to have grandchildren. We want our babies back!
@StewyGriffin…you said it perfectly! yes, that is exactly how I feel. I told my DH the night we were packing the van that I could keep the tears at bay until I started thinking of my 4 year old, my 1st grader, etc…then I would start welling up. You said this SO WELL, and yes it does make it SO much harder for me, too:
“Now he’s not here, and I feel like like I am in a period of mourning for all these kids that are now only present in memory and I am dealing with the loss of all them at once”
When I dropped my first DS 3 years ago, I went in mourning for the family that would never be again…in the old way. Even after 3 years, it never felt right with that empty seat…I know all 3 of us felt that way.
Wouldn’t you just give your right arm for some time with those “kids” again? I’m so thankful I took lots of video so I could visit them. The odd thing is, when I do revisit my DVD’s, it seems natural to see them that way. Once I was watching some with younger DS and we were laughing. I looked over at him and said, “who are you?” LOL! I guess we still see them young as much as we do older…maybe even more because they were practically glued to us!
It can be a good idea to let your S or D know that even a quicky phone call while they are walking back to the dorm is fine - if they have to set aside time - like an appointment - that feels too cumbersome and sometimes there is just not a good place to call and talk - awkward talking to your parents in a small dorm room with a roommate you barely know! But even 3 minutes between classes or walking home from the library can be a nice catch up phone call.
Tomorrow is drop off day and I am afraid of the crazy soup of feelings that will surely come.
@NorthernMom61, That’s guaranteed. But it’s a great milestone in your kid’s life, so enjoy the moment! Don’t forget to take pictures. You’ll handle post drop-off better than you think.
Conmama. I felt at the time when I was making videos of son that they would be valuable later on, even if when I was taking the they seemed uneventful, and they are valuable. After I posted the message my wife got up and told me that he called her late last night saying he wished he would have went to school closer to home, misses us, friends, etc. She probably did a good job consoling him but I texted him and tried to reassure him these feelings are not uncommon and things would be ok. It’s funny but I didn’t think he would be homesick. So I need to read up and make sure we help him through the best we can. Thanks for your note.
@StewyGriffin, that’s exactly how I feel. It’s almost as if my D at 5 or 10 is ghost I’ll see out of the corner of my eye when I least expect it.
I’m trying to figure out the communication thing. My D has always been much better at texting that phoning, so we’ve texted a few times every day since I took her to college on Sunday. But I was feeling sad and curious about the first day of classes, so I called her last night. She was hanging out with her roommate and two others, so it was a little awkward and we talked for just a minute or two. I told her that if she was available to call me later or today. I didn’t get a call, but a did get a nice good night text. Still, as a middle-aged mom, talking seems so much more practical than typing a conversation into a tiny screen I need my reading glasses for! How are others working it so far?