My third child (and youngest) just started his junior year of college on Saturday. You’d think I’d be used to this by now, but I miss as much as I did the first year he left. He’s such a pleasure to have around. It’s also about the passage of time. I realize that before you know it, he’ll really be out on his own.
Yesterday as I mentioned I would, I paid a day visit to my youngest who left on August 19. We had a nice day out and about. When I arrived, we both were happy and smiley and I said, “see?! Isn’t it a lot more fun saying hello than good-bye?!” (I had told her when we said good bye on the 19th that hellos would be SO much easier!!)
However, when it came time for me to leave - even though she will come home for Labor Day weekend - she teared up a little again - and so did I. She said, “I’m FINE, but it’s just weird to leave each other and have you go back home and I stay here”. I told her, "you know, when for each of your older siblings (2 of them) 4 years of school, each time they came home to visit or I visited them, when it was time to say goodbye there was always a “ping” of sadness in my heart - ALWAYS. " I call it a symptom of love. 
My mom (who just turned 87) says, “Little kids, little problems; big kids, big problems.” But they’re so much more lovable when they’re adults.
So true, one is not none @oldmom4896 and we were very blessed. I cherish the chance we got to raise her every day. I don’t want to start counting the days until winter break yet, so soon after dropping her off at school. Getting to see her on Skype makes a world of difference.
My youngest leaving has stirred up emotions and memories about when I left for college. I was the also the youngest and I remember feeling so sad when I came home to visit. The refrigerator was close to empty and I felt so guilty about my mother’s loneliness . Last night, I dreamed about going to my childhood home
( long since sold ) and seeing my mother eating alone.
I haven’t had a lot of time to dwell on our daughter leaving since I have had to work every day since and I am running on reserve energy right about now. The closest I have gotten to cleaning her room is washing and folding her sheets…bed still isn’t made up
@lge62 Thank you for your heartfelt post. It made me realize how much my kids worry about me and what kind of baggage I am leaving them with. You helped me realize that they are not responsible for my happiness. I am. I will go out, put some food in the fridge, and take care of me. They (like you with your mom) should not need to feel responsible for my loneliness. I’m sorry you had to go through that. And I’m sorry that your youngest leaving stirs up those emotions. And I absolutely wish you all the best.
Not lonely here. I do miss the kid, but it has been surprisingly great being responsible for taking care of just me. It’s the kind of freedom you get when your kid used to go to a sleepover, except that feeling doesn’t end twenty-four hours later. Kid is doing great, and so am I.
I will call the disability office today to ask questions!!! Thank you for giving me more information. If it’s hard for me to pick up the phone, I imagine how hard it is for him to ask for help.
On a positive note, he called me yesterday!!! to tell me he got a 100% on his first quiz. That is just what he needed to have a little boost that he can do this and his hard work paid off!
Daughter had a teary Skype, says she is “having a moment” misses us and got psyched out by rumors she heard about one of her professors, even though she is doing very well in the class so far. Know this is part of the process, hard to be so far away and not be able to give her a hug. This little niggly stress is just going to be there until we get used to the new normal.
yup, parenting is different when they are away at college. mine is having issues with the food and using a source that uses “points” instead of her regular meal plan cafe(s)
My youngest left last week and I am really feeling it. More the issue of this chapter of life (everyday parenting) being over. All the cliches - the days are long but the years are short - echo in my mind. As said way up thread, it is like being fired from my favorite job. I really loved almost every minute of it all. I work full time,have my husband and friends, and have fun things to do, but even though my son was gone a lot this summer, I miss seeing him almost every day. I am so thankful he is at college and that his brothers are well and working, but definitely feeling melancholy over the loss of “family”.
yup, I keep expecting my 2 kids to run in the door after their jobs at the ice cream shop yell hi wash up and run out to friends. it was a blur but I got used to the blur. now it’s just me sitting at home staring at the cats staring back at me
It has just occurred to me that in the three weeks since drop off, I have sent off two care packages. I fear this may be an indication that I’m not optimizing my free time in pursuit of my own interests.
During my years as an empty nester, I’ve become an expert user of the post office and UPS. Sometimes, it’s at my initiative; sometimes, it’s in response to “Mom, where’s my XXX?!”
My daughter seems to be having trouble making friends. Her school has a lot of in-state students and many of them seem to know each other already. She describes it as " clique-y " We have given her the standard advice to going clubs , but she hasn’t done that yet…granted , it has only been 10 days. Never dealt with this with my older girls at all…
I really think that many of the clubs and stuff won’t kick in till after the holiday weekend. I too was hoping that the dorm floor might have a few more “opening” activities then they have - come on RA’s - earn your RA stipend!!!
When my son calls, I usually ask him if he’s making friends. It’s not a fair question really. In truth, I think I just want some assurance that’s he’s happy and adjusting. Realistically, I know I shouldn’t even worry about this unless it’s the end of the first semester and he hasn’t made those connections.
Yeah, think about it - if you threw me in a whole new situation to live in and have to change my entire daily routine, I - as an introvert - would not be making friends left and right too quickly!
Another introvert here. In college I was lucky to be adopted by a wing of girls after enduring a harsh first semester with a senior roommate.
Club sports can be a great way to meet people as well. A good chunk of D’s core friend set is from her sport that she took up fall freshman year