I just flew back cross country yesterday after convocation on Monday. It was so strange leaving him behind in New York. Kinda like I left something behind in my hotel room but this time I can’t just have it shipped back to me. I’m doing surprisingly well and the dread of the past few weeks is worse than the reality.
In moments when I tried to choke up and be sad, a wave of positive thoughts about the hopes I have that he will have a brilliant adventure ahead takes over. I hope I can maintain that and that it becomes a reality for him.
Mostly ups and a few little downs. For the most part, husband and I are doing well, still so excited for our daughter. Miss her presence and feel anxious when we don’t get those texts. So proud of her. So many emotions.
Feeling good here, daughter is happy, studying hard and already in three music groups and the fencing club (which she so desperately wanted to try), making friends and good choices. Husband and I are enjoying more time for evening walks, and I must say, even though it was only one person and a fairly tidy girl at that, the house stays cleaner and there’s a lot less laundry. I miss her like heck, but the fact that it is all working for the moment sure helps a lot.
Good here as well. College seems to be a bit overwhelming for son. He failed to turn in some assignments and has the lowest grade in his strongest subject. I’m trying not to freak out about it and encouraging him as he work through it.
I’m still discovering that I have an uncanny ability to eat the same dinner night after night. Nope, still haven’t grown tired of salads and bake potatoes, although I have thrown in a couple of nights of salmon and linguine with garlic and butter sauce.
Plus lot of time to exercise and getting back to the things I love.
Sorry to hear that your son feels overwhelmed with the academics. It is hard for them to figure out what their needs and resources are for help. Great that he has you for encouragement. Not sure my daughter has any grades yet, though she has her first test tomorrow.
We too have much less complex dinners going on. Also have gone out on a weeknight a couple times, something we didn’t feel was fair when daughter we home because she had so many hours of music practicing to do each night. More time to exercise is nice too.
I have not had a moment to myself since our daughter left. We have a business ( that she works for ) that is tourism based and had a problem with end of summer workers going back to school. I wish she was liking her school , but she isn’t so far. She isn’t challenged academically and socially and also having trouble connecting and making friends since she doesn’t drink. The good thing is, she is with two friends from high school ( who are extroverts ) that are also having trouble in that department.
Interesting point made by my oldest daughter…this generation is lacking in social skills and communication techniques unless it is via social media or texting
“Interesting point made by my oldest daughter…this generation is lacking in social skills and communication techniques unless it is via social media or texting”
Sorry to hear that your daughter is struggling @lje62, adds a layer to the stresses that you are dealing with your business. Hopefully as she moves along things will get more challenging and find other non-drinkers with like interests.
I agree that our current technologies and ways that they are used do have their positive and negative side effects, and the negative ones could be having an impact on social relations. Because I am so far away from my daughter, I am really appreciating Skype though–and not just the video calling–which is great when you can actually lay eyes on your kid and can read them like a book–but the texting feature which allows us to talk to each other in little bits when each has the time because we don’t have to worry about the time zone differences.
My D is doing well - but was also able to come home for Labor Day weekend and enjoyed just letting out her breath and relaxing at home base. I loved having her here and yep, a few tears when she left - from both of us - just because we do enjoy each other! But she got back in her week. Homework seems to be picking up a little, she is starting some volunteer hours for a class requirement and she was excited to receive an email from her “first year seminar” class asking if she could use D’s summer paper assignment as an example of how to effectively write a paper well. Happy for her! I still see weekends as her biggest “struggle” - just filling in the time and having some actual “fun” time - she has made the habit (a good one I think) of having one day on the weekend - probably Saturday - as a “no homework” zone day - one day to completely NOT do work and step back and just be “D, the person” instead of the other 6 days of “D, the student”.
Dealing with the same crap here. I had my first 2 quizzes today for 2 different classes and I know for I fact I got 3 wrong on the first and God knows how many on the second. I studied, read, and did all the assigned work but poor instructors are poor instructors. May not always be your son’s fault, @evermom1.
@stugace Sorry to hear that you are having a frustrating time in your classes. I wish I had some magic advice besides the usual, go see the profs during office hours and ask what you can do to make sure you know the material or explore other student academic support avenues.
The empty nest is going a bit better than I expected so far. We’ve had 2 dates and reached a kind of detente on how best to load the dishwasher. It is nice to have an easier dinner plan with both timing and numbers to feed.
The boy has said twice via text that he just loves college. I have no idea how classes are going but he is happy and really likes the place and the people. Now that we’ve passed the “he might just be away at camp” time window I am missing the long winded, rambling updates that I used to get while dog walking. They’re more organic than a text or phone conversation and could go any direction. That is just starting to set in so we’ll see how it goes. As I’ve said before, he’s a talker. Five minutes in the car and you know all his hopes and dreams and plans. It’s a real change not to have that.
No doubt the silence is telling at your house @saintfan. My daughter is not as known for talking, but since the age of 5 has filled our house with music that she was practicing. It started on piano then gradually adding instrument after instrument until she was practicing up to five different ones per day. It got really great over the years too. The lack of music, and the fact that the lid on the piano is still down (though I did remove the sheet that was covering it from dust) since we returned from summer vacation are indicators that she just isn’t home right now.
Funny enough, I just had the “now she’s been gone longer than any camp she went to” thought to myself this very morning.
The change in cooking, grocery shopping, laundry - kind of a double edged sword, right? Glad you are saving money, time, etc. - but at the same time it means you are doing it cause they are not around!!!
I had a text from S yesterday telling me that he and roomie were going to a concert of a band that he’d talked about at home and wanted to see but hadn’t. I really liked that he thought to tell me, knew that I would know what he meant and care. He also texted me a photo of the old school Disney movie that they were watching to kill a little time on a rainy, Friday afternoon before dinner. Yeah for modern electronic communication! Those aren’t the sort of things that you would wait in line for the hall pay phone to tell but little snippets of life. That was just what I was missing so it came at a good time.