I'm a parent that needs some sense slapped into him

[bigleaguechu]

thank you. forgot its moved back due to ED option this year. our school has a good track record for michigan though.

[bigleaguechu]

you ARE a polite person. thank you.

[TonyGrace]

@bigleaguechu

No idea how much perceived or real advantage that means. btw, he’s decently competitive: 11 APs, national merit semifinalist, 1530, 4.7 weighted gpa, national debate/speech type activity, plus more, but no research/did not cure cancer as he spent the majority of his time as a dual sport athlete (water polo/swim).

My kids are proof that you don’t need to cure cancer but there is no real advantage in most cases. He is as competitive as the next kid (with a possible geographical edge?) but he needs a thoughtful and well presented application that does not revolve around WP. That “bucket” has been filled by the recruits and admissions is looking for kids that will bring other things to the community.

[TonyGrace]

@bigleaguechu

mind you, we were working under the impression that Yale would not give any admissions support since its only a club team but would apply RD, but this drastically changed 2 nights ago. so we all of a sudden found ourselves in an impossible position. stick with our plan to roll the dice to 1) play D1 polo 2) at an Ivy (both dreams from day 1) or switch things up at the 11th hour to take advantage of the admissions boost at a top Ivy.

Confronted with this choice, his mom and i tried to stay as logical and objective as possible. we asked him if he was admitted to both theoretically (not realistic as they are both single choice early/binding), which would he choose: D1 at Brown (this was a simple decision for him). he also said that if he got into Yale, he would always think that he could have played D1 polo at Brown. So he ED’d to brown, unsure how much pull the coach would have for a non-supported recruit.

My advice is go with the school you love the most - waterpolo or not.

@bigleaguechu

“But it’s Yale!”

But it’s Brown!!

Let’s be honest - Its Brown you are talking about. Not some low ranked Mid-major.

[TonyGrace]

@bigleaguechu Food for thought:

Have you considered what the WP club experience at Yale is like? Their pool is the coolest around because it is vintage (and I mean VINTAGE). It is also only 25 yards. When does club practice because between swimming, diving, mens WP in the fall and womens in the spring, WHEN do they get to practice? I don’t know the answer to this (is there another pool I am not aware of?) but….

ETA - I see there is no Varsity WP at yale, which explains while the coach may have “some” soft pull but the main point stands. The pool belongs to the swim team!

[sbinaz]

Everything that @blossom said.

[sbinaz]

Parent should not contact the coach. You’ll come across as a helicopter parent, which will hurt your son’s odds of getting admitted.

[sbinaz]

What your post is getting at, in my opinion, is opportunity cost, which is (according to https://money.usnews.com/investing/term/opportunity-cost) “a benefit that an individual or business forgoes because they made one decision instead of another.”

[Greatpyrmom]

@TonyGrace

@bigleaguechu Food for thought:

Have you considered what the WP club experience at Yale is like? Their pool is the coolest around because it is vintage (and I mean VINTAGE). It is also only 25 yards. When does club practice because between swimming, diving, mens WP in the fall and womens in the spring, WHEN do they get to practice? I don’t know the answer to this (is there another pool I am not aware of?) but….

ETA - I see there is no Varsity WP at yale, which explains while the coach may have “some” soft pull but the main point stands. The pool belongs to the swim team

Yale has a 50 meter practice pool with a movable bulkhead on the third floor of the Payne Whitney gym in addition to the 25 yard competition pool. I don’t think practice time would be a huge problem.

[TonyGrace]

@Greatpyrmom

Yale has a 50 meter practice pool

Isn’t it only 4 lanes?

[Greatpyrmom]

It’s 5 lanes and set up as two short course pools during most of the school year. I’m not sure what they are doing now, but back in the old days the swim teams trained in the practice pool and water polo practiced in the exhibition pool.

[TonyGrace]

Got it. Its a cool but definitely funky setup during meets. I hope they manage to upgrade the actual pool while preserving the stands. DH has the best memories of meets there. He says it was exhilarating looking up and seeing everyone around you. Even if coming out the right gate for your seats is a bit of a challenge

[gardenstategal]

The Brown coach will let admissions know that he wants your kid but he’s out of chits. Your kid has a strong application, so it’s not as if he has a snowball’s chance without support, and the coach may be a finger on the scale. That, we can’t know. If successful, first choice school with D1 program.

The Yale coach has offered support, but it’s unclear how much pull he has. It’s a strong club program but not at the level of a D1 program. Not the first choice school.

There’s risk either way. You’ll kick yourself if Brown isn’t a yes, but realistically, this is an athlete/scholar with lots of appeal so while you may be trying to figure out how to get the brain squirrels back in their cage, my guess is it’ll all have a good ending. Hopefully by Christmas, but if not, by next spring.

[Publisher]

There is a clear difference in prestige between the two schools.

We went through a similar experience although not an athletic recruit. I understand your anxiety.

In my opinion, you are the sensible one and, therefore, no slapping is needed.

[happy1]

The OP’s S has already made the decision to apply to Brown. I don’t imagine a graduate of Brown who played a D1 sport with be limited in terms of future opportunities.

Kudos to the OPs S for his academic and athletic accomplishments. I expect he will have a great college landing spot and a bright future.

[compmom]

I would choose Brown regardless of water polo.

I had one kid at Harvard and one at Brown and much preferred Brown.

Recruiting was very strong by the way, and what we call the Brown mafia continues to network and share opportunities.

And if Brown doesn’t accept him, he can apply to Yale RD.

Brown admissions is quirky. I know people who got into Harvard and Yale but not Brown. It seems he has a good chance so I guess the problem in these posts, for you, is that if he gets into Brown then he can’t go to Yale.

[DadTwoGirls]

@blossom

And to the chagrin of her coach and teammates- gave up crew junior year. It was just too much. The river at 5 am; going to bed at a decent time no matter how much more studying she felt she needed to do; the travel and the training–

One daughter was a walk on for junior varsity crew. After less than a month she was asked to step up to varsity heavyweight crew. She lasted one week. Getting up at 5am every day was not what she wanted to do, and was just too tough in combination with classes and homework and studying. Fortunately she considered her class work to be more important.

@blossom

If he is injured and can’t swim… where would he want to be?

Which makes this a very good question.

And I also think that Brown is an excellent university, and probably a least a bit less overtly stressful compared to Yale.

[Knowsstuff]

I read some of the posts and have nothing to add but I am curious how it all shakes out. Having second thoughts is normal. Hope he has some back up schools as they say, would be my only concern.

[Muu9]

If you’re a former med school AO, you should have no shortage of examples of excellent students from non-selective schools ending up at your medical school, and Brown is far, far from non-selective.

[ECCA2026]

One thing I will add as a former D1 Ivy League athlete, is that the difference between being a D1 athlete and a club athlete is significant in many ways. Setting aside the opportunities, commitment, etc, for the moment. If you the parent, are as prestige obsessed as you say, I’ll try to put it in terms that connect with that from an athlete perspective. As an athlete, a club team athlete trying to talk to a D1 athlete as if they are on the same level re sports would get a lot of side eye and skepticism with at least an undertone of superiority. I can’t imagine the other Yale athletes think of the water polo team as being on their level. Thus, if your son wants to be an actual D1 athlete and loves Brown more which appears to be the case, then Yale club team is a poor substitute for that. Period. And no amount of parental perception of Yale’s fundamental superiority as an institution or whatever (which I don’t buy, but that is beside the point), can make up that gap. He’d be giving up a real shot at being a D1 athlete (I do think the Brown coach’s thumb would still matter for a kid with excellent stats like yours), for a chance to be a club team athlete (and I think the club coach opinion, even if he’s one of his top 3 would matter less to admissions). I’d choose the D1 Ivy option over the club team one every single time! And if I didn’t give the D1 one a shot, I’d regret that choice for life. Especially if I ended up with a successful club sport career in college, I’d always wonder what could have been. Like for the rest of my life wonder. No brainer to me. Brown is the right answer as an athlete. Trust your son on this one.