<p>@someperson1 </p>
<p>Definitely be on your guard about all this and proceed cautiously.</p>
<p>I’m so surprised at how many ppl are saying to go to Cal. Yes, it’s unfortunate to leave your dream school but you are obligated to support your child in any way you can. If you go to Cal, you cannot support your child very well. Sure you can send money, but that’s it. Another option, you could force her to move to the Berkeley area. </p>
<p>As long as you and your girlfriend are both in the same area (whatever that is) and supporting the kid, that is fine. </p>
<p>Not really @2016Candles because the timing of her “pregnancy” is suspect. He needs to find out first that she really is pregnant - pregnancy test in front of him, then if she is (and is it his, but that’s another issue), he needs to be firm - no ifs ands or buts. She can raise the kid on her own or get an abortion. End of story. They’re ruining both their lives at this young age. But he needs to be firm. She’s trying to manipulate him and he has to show his poker face. Collegedata site shows ten year salary of Cal graduates around $220,000. State graduates about $75,000. My take: she doesn’t want to raise kid on her own, when she sees he’s leaving, he’s not backing down, she’ll get an abortion (if she’s pregnant).I’m not advocating abortion, but there are exceptions.</p>
<p>If you think your gf is trying to trap you with a real or fake pregnancy, you guys have major trust issues. </p>
<p>@calbro - unless she lied to him about being on birth control when she wasn’t or something else of that nature, then they’re equally responsible. I’m not saying it’s a good situation, but when you have sex, pregnant is a possibility and we all know that.</p>
<p>Well said @Lindyk8. </p>
<p>@2016Candles She’s been begging him to stay for months, but now she’s pregnant. This is entirely suspect. She’s been begging him to stay EVERY DAY since he was accepted. This girl is CRAZY. </p>
<p>Why was it not an option for her to move up there with him? To quote @lindyk8: Collegedata site shows ten year salary of Cal graduates around $220,000. State graduates about $75,000.</p>
<p>If she really cared about the kid, she’d understand that him going to Cal would provide a better life for the two of them. She’s just hanging on, desperately. </p>
<p>@2016Candles </p>
<p>I sympathize with your position, but I’m going to have to side with @lindyk8 here. If worse comes to worst…she should get an abortion. If not, then she should encourage her boyfriend to go to Cal because @lindyk8 and @calbro make the excellent point that they’d all be better off if he does that.</p>
<p>This is just short-sighted thinking on the girlfriend’s part here.</p>
<p>I think you need to go to Berkeley so you can have a chance of supporting this kid if your girl friend is truly pregnant. You need to tell her that. </p>
<p>I agree that he should go to Cal. If getting an abortion is what she chooses that’s up to her. I also agree that her timing is completely suspect and selfish. All of that however does not negate the notion that each parent has equal responsibility for the child.</p>
<p>@2016Candles </p>
<p>Oh, definitely. As someone who has a deadbeat father who walked on him, I wouldn’t want to encourage someone else to walk out on their child either. I just feel that going to Berkeley for a couple of years shouldn’t be considered tantamount to abandoning one’s family, especially since there are options available to the girlfriend to move with the OP to Berkeley, which she should if possible.</p>
<p>@someperson1 I know it sounded like I was assuming she could be fooling around. I didn’t explain it well but I didn’t mean it exactly that way. I meant it in the sense of she’s desperate for you to stay, she’s checking when she’s ovulating, maybe you aren’t around. Would she possibly just do it to try and get pregnant?
The other option is she just moves with you to Berkeley and gets a job. You just have to make sure it doesn’t make you drop out. How old are you both? 20 or so? So sad. Way too young to start a family. Whatever you do, don’t take Berkeley out of the equation.</p>
<p>It would be better for you also in the long run if she comes up with you to Cal because you can apply for family housing and thats ALOT cheaper. </p>
<p>I agree @2016Candles, but what if she misled him? It could happen. Does that make it fair?</p>
<p>Exactly @cayton! And it’s the part that she’s insisting he go to CSU. Why would she do that and ruin his dream when were talking two years? It just doesn’t sound kosher.</p>
<p>@lindyk8 Oh, that comment wasn’t meant for you, you were actually very clear. You also made me think a lot. By the way, that message was directed at some other people that thought she was cheating.</p>
<p>Okay OP, what you need to do depends on how serious you and your GF are. Pregnancies are serious, and first things first, verify that she’s actually pregnant (although there may be some other issues in your relationship if she could be lying about that in the first place). </p>
<p>If you really love her, support her decision in whatever she decides to do with the baby. However this doesn’t necessarily mean you have to forfeit Berkeley, I mean it’s your future and will eventually affect the baby and your girlfriend in terms of employment and income in the coming years. </p>
<p>She can move with you to Berkeley, or you can financially support her and do the long distance thing while you’re in school. </p>
<p>I would rethink your whole situation here though, whether you see a future with this girl or not because your life is about to change big time no matter what. Just do what you believe is best for you in the long run, but don’t shirk your responsibilities to your girl or the baby! </p>
<p>Goodluck though. I feel for you 
</p>
<p>The more I think about this, why can’t you just go to Berkeley? What’s the big deal? People go off to war for longer. You said she lives with her parents so she has support now - and later. The baby won’t even be born until probably end of January. You’re home all summer, go back at thanksgiving, winter break, you can go visit in Feb, spring break. And those are just the breaks! You could go on some weekends. She’s with her parents. It isn’t that big of a deal for 1-1/2 years if she wants to stay in SoCal.</p>
<p>Go to Berkeley
If she doesn’t want to go with you that’s on her. Because you can be away and still be a dad. Visit on weekends on holidays. How many people go away to serve in military or have to travel for work. These people are away from there families to provide a better life for them. Just as you will be away to get an education that will provide. Better life for your child. </p>
<p>I decided against Berkeley because I’m married and moving our jobs and stuff would have been to hard. And having debt to pay wouldn’t allow us to quit our jobs. We also have good benefits. However I have UCLA to go to so I’m good. But for her to want you to go to a csu is crazy. </p>
<p>Plus if she wants to stay and lives with her parents they can help her while your gone in sure </p>
<p>@sonic23 </p>
<p>Just curious, how old are you? I’ve always wondered, lol</p>
<p>@cayton 23 I feel 30 sometimes though lol </p>
<p>@sonic23 </p>
<p>Ah, I see. Well, I imagine that being married is the reason you feel 30, lol. :P</p>