<p>I’ve been a long time lurker and I have come out of the shadows in desperation. </p>
<p>Why am I desperate you ask?</p>
<p>My parents won’t let me leave the country, let alone my state!</p>
<p>I, along with a small group of selected students, were chosen to join our professor on a cultural experience trip at the end of next semester. I have always wanted to travel. I’ve never been outside of the United States. I’ve only been to two states aside from my home state. I feel there is so much to learn outside of where I’m currently at. I want to experience the varying cultures, lifestyles, and perspectives out there! </p>
<p>I brought this up to my parents, and collectively, they questioned why I would even want to go to the country the trip is going. Then, they told me they didn’t want me going. I felt so crushed. I ultimately feel as if they are holding me back. I feel as if I could experience and learn so much more than what they are allowing me to. I guess I resent them a bit. I resent them because in the college application process I got accepted into a much better college than the one that I am currently at, but they prevented me from going because it was out of state. I, because of what they prefer, am going to a college four hours from home. I like my current college. It offers me a tremendous amount of opportunities such as this one, but when do I stop doing whatever they want and start doing what I want?</p>
<p>Sp parents, I’m looking for any advice on how I can still get out of the country. Should I just accept my professor’s invitation and leave anyways? Should I not go? What are some possible consequences from me finally doing what I want to do??</p>
<p>This trip probably costs something extra. Who will pay? If you need your parents to cover the cost, then they probably have the final say.</p>
<p>What about your other school expenses? If they pay for them, do you think they would cut off your support if you decided to go anyway?</p>
<p>Additionally, do you have a passport? It takes a while to get one, so you would need to take care of that.</p>
<p>Cost could be a factor in all of this, too. Are you attending an in-state college because it is cheaper? Thousands of parents make that choice every year. Maybe your parents also don’t want to pay the extra cost for the trip you are discussing. Or it is in a part of the world where they are concerned about your personal safety.</p>
<p>Worst case scenario - when you are done with school, get a job in another location far from home. Then you can live and travel as you wish.</p>
<p>I have the ability to pay for this trip 100% by myself. I have not asked them for any monetary support. </p>
<p>I received a full ride from my current university and all other school related expenses are paid through scholarships that I had earned. </p>
<p>I have a passport. (I even tried to use the line, “Have passport, will travel!” with a nice cheeky smile…It clearly did not change their mind. :D)</p>
<p>I did attend the in-state college because it was cheaper, although the amount I would’ve paid at the other college wouldn’t have amounted to a considerable amount of debt. </p>
<p>It is in a part of the world where they are concerned for my personal safety. However, this trip is a fully chaperoned and we will have armed guards where we stay.</p>
<p>In my eyes, I don’t see any considerable downside by going on this trip. In their eyes, they see traveling abroad as dangerous and suggest I stay in the state.</p>
<p>It would help us parents to understand your parents’ concern if we knew what country you were planning to visit. I encourage my kids to go abroad, but if one of them wanted to go to, say, Syria, I might be a bit concerned.</p>
<p>You are over 18 - a legal adult. You don’t have to worry about your parents cutting you off financially, from the sounds of it. If you have the money yourself and you really want to do this and think it is a good idea, go. </p>
<p>You’ll start making your own decisions when you start making your own decisions.</p>
<p>Calmly tell your parents you are going even though they are opposed.
You have spoken to the professor and feel your safety has been addressed in a satisfactory manner.
Inform them by having them read about the places you will be traveling.
Ask your parents for your passport.
You will need it at school when they start making arrangements.
Check your passport, it needs to be valid 6 months past the last day of the trip.
For example, if the trip is in March then your passport has to be valid through September.
If it expires close to the deadline, get a new passport now.
Have fun!</p>
<p>Agreed. However, be sure to think through the possible consequences which may result from your parents’ reactions. More importantly, be ok with accepting them with some grace. Don’t second guess yourself once you’ve made your decision. </p>
<p>And I second beerme’s statement to “Have fun!”. :)</p>
<p>Per OP, this is part of an academic experience with a professor from a university. I doubt they’re going to send a group to Syria, or any other place without serious consideration of the safety of the students. Too much liability if something goes wrong. So this is about a student wanting to go on a trip to a place, that we can assume, is relatively safe. She isn’t galavanting off into the wild blue yonder with no knowledge of where she’s going.</p>
<p>So you want to go to a place that will require you to have armed guards and you wonder why your parents are concerned for your safety? </p>
<p>You might try asking them to contact your professor to discuss their concerns. As an adult, he should understand that some parents may have concerns.</p>
<p>I still think it would be good to know what country. There are some places colleges, and even high schools travel that would make some parents fearful. Middle East, Africa, and some places in South America would really concern me.</p>
<p>Okay, I just read “armed guards.” Yes, where you’re going makes a big difference, and there are many places I wouldn’t go to. Not all school chaperones and advisors have sense. Where is it?</p>
<p>The country is in Southeast Asia. The purpose of the armed guards is to ward away robbers and the like, I’m assuming. It’s not that the country itself is dangerous, it’s the gap of wealth between the impoverished and the fortunate that makes us a target. That is why we will have security. </p>
<p>Thank you, you guys. I really did need some encouragement. My brother told me not to press this matter and to forget about this trip. </p>
<p>I will do as you said, beer me. </p>
<p>
I can understand their concern for my safety. I do not understand why their concern warrants them refusing to open their minds to traveling.</p>
<p>**EDIT - ** I just reread the program details and the guards are not armed. Terribly sorry for the mistake. The program will have provided guards and security in our places of stay.</p>
<p>@busdriver11 What countries in South America would make you fearful? My professor has been speaking of another trip this summer.</p>
<p>There are many drug cartels in South America and they have been known to kidnap people for ransom. </p>
<p>Also there are countries in Southeast Asia that are hot beds of terrorist activities and religious violence. Poverty isn’t the only problem you may face here.</p>
<p>I like bookreader’s suggestion, see if there are travel advisories. If not… honestly, what will stop you if you are paying for the trip and you also cover your own college expenses? You can tell your parents that as you are supporting yourself financially and over 18, you feel this is your decision to make. That you appreciate their input and love them, but you plan to go on the trip. And then go.</p>
<p>I didn’t hear the OP wonder why his parents are concerned. I heard the OP ask when he or she would be old enough to make some important decisions. The answer is, now.</p>
<p>Thank you, bookreader. I checked and the country is not up there. <em>wipes brow</em></p>
<p>You are very true, intparent. I am over 18 and I can do this if I want to. I’m just afraid of what will come from this. I’m really close to my parents and I don’t want to rebel against them and I don’t want them to feel I don’t value what they do for me…but…I don’t agree with their reasoning. I guess I’ll just watch the events as they unfold…</p>
<p>Is whatever you’re going to do or study there in any way controversial with the locals? I wouldn’t ask but my D’s roommate was abducted last spring while working with sea turtle conservation in Costa Rica. The locals like to eat the eggs and don’t appreciate any conservationists trying to stop them or guard the beaches.</p>
<p>She was OK as were the other students but their local guide was killed. FYI this wasn’t a school group and didn’t have guards. For all that scariness, I think you should go! Don’t tell your parents the sea turtle story.</p>