<p>Avoid said friend until May 1st, when you will be able to obsess jointly over how impossible your kids are about getting ready for college.</p>
<p>^^^^^and then you can go shopping for egg crate mattresses together. :D</p>
<p>Hard fall goes with pride as they say. Seems to me your friend was more than willing to talk excessively about her own (and kid’s) achievements but not when you have something exciting to talk about.</p>
<p>A. A friend would be happy for you
B. A friend would understand if you told her you have patiently listened to her “successes”, so why the cold shoulder when you have exciting news?</p>
<p>If A & B are non-players, then you really had a “walking mate” and not a friend. Move on and enjoy this madness we call college selection.</p>
<p>Interestingly, her son has mild Asperger’s (brilliant kid, but has trouble interpreting social cues and dealing with ambiguity). And she’s an engineer, a group stereotypically not known for social skills. She’s very outgoing and friendly but sometimes does and says stuff that make me wonder if she has some of her son’s difficulties with social cues.</p>
<p>bethievt,
One of my closest friends is also the mom of a senior, and she is SO ready to be done with this. She has been such a wonderful source of advice and counsel over the past umpty-ump years as our kids have gone through MS and HS, But now, I don’t even ask if they’ve heard anything. They are just ready to have decisions, sign on the dotted line, and be DONE. </p>
<p>Feel free to vent your anxieties here with all of us! I want to know what I’m in for… ;)</p>
<p>bethievt,
I feel for you. Very few of my children’s contemporaries were going anywhere but a rolling admission state school and their primary concern was housing and not admission. I know this is a high stress time for all those families waiting for decisions and talking does seem to keep you from a complete meltdown. Lately, when I tell my family about the occasional frustration with friends, their reaction is that I should just drop them. What they don’t understand is that you have years invested in the friendship and, at least for me, I’m too lazy/persnickety/anal/etc. to make new friends. Sometimes you just need a “sabbatical” from the ones you have though!
Hang in there!</p>
<p>Oh my gosh, Bethie. I feel ya. I can top that story. Once upon a time, I was walking with a friend, talking about secondary school admissions-- a topic we dissected for a couple fo months. After weeks of talking about different strategies for our two same age children–one morning, mid-walk-- she turned around and ran away from me! :eek:</p>
<p>I stood in the park in shock for a few moments and then I ran to her house and apologised. I forget what else I sad, but it was along the lines of suggesting that her behavior was FAR more judgmental than anything I said.</p>
<p>I let that ‘friendship’ go. </p>
<p>Bottom line: don’t insult cheers becuase she might front up at your house! Mwaaahhh ha ha hah!</p>
<p>I don’t talk about college stuff here. Families don’t send their kids to outrageously expensive colleges and they would blanch if they knew how much we paid.</p>
<p>One of the things I miss is not seeing the other parents and hearing about their kids now that they are all away at different colleges- cross country and track meets were great for parent connections… They should have alumni/homecoming events for parents! I do remember choosing what I said to which parents based on their college expectations for their child; it was so nice talking to X because I didn’t feel like I was bragging, and she understood things the other parents were oblivious to.</p>
<p>Come and walk with me!</p>
<p>Don’t let your friend get you down, it’s different for everyone. Funny, my friends with seniors don’t want to speak of college and college is the main subject of my friends with juniors…I’m lucky I have them to yap with about the whole college process this year. </p>
<p>I have also become addicted to CC. It really helps!!!</p>
<p>Tarhunt: It’s one degree of separation here. I may not know everyone, but I can almost promise you that I know someone who knows them. </p>
<p>The 3 of us haven’t met in person yet, but I think that will happen soon.</p>
<p>bethie,</p>
<p>Ya already know that you’ve got us anytime you want to talk about college.
Now, come on over to SA, belly up to the bar and throw back a few because we’ll definitely have some stories to share with you ;)</p>
<p>So I was walking with my other walk partner in the neighborhood this afternoon and saying how relieved I was about the Grinnell admit (we LOVED that school–the whole tour of The Great Midwest was like a treasure hunt!!) and she said, “Of course if he gets into any of the others, he wouldn’t go to Grinnell, because nobody’s heard of it.” I was really irritated. Vassar is her alma mater and she thinks everything else is garbage, I guess. In fact, son has applied to Vassar also and I’m pretty sure if he got into both, he’d pick Grinnell. Not a prestige hound.</p>
<p>First of all, I’d be irked too. I agree that the worst part about the situation is that the woman feels free to subject you to a stream of conscience whenever she gets the urge, and yet you mention a few words about what is going on in your life and she’s laying down the law to you! I might handle it in the moment by asking if there’s anything you’ve done or said on the topic to offend her. Now you know, of course, that that’s not the case, but this puts the ball in her court to explain her behavior, ie, “It’s me, not you - I’m all stressed out about this” , etc. At the same time, it may alert her in a subtle way to the fact that you are somewhat put out by her behavior. </p>
<p>I can empathize with your story - you are a good listener, and it’s tough when people take that for granted and do not reciprocate.</p>
<p>You sure did get the slammer jammer today huh?</p>
<p>Since I have the oldest kids of anyone in my social circle (at least of college age kids!), I sort of serve as the poster child/guinea pig/ground zero for all this college and financing stuff. I am more than happy to pass along the little that I know to them, since I glean a LOT from CC. Yeah, my jaw dropped to the ground when I saw our SAR (c’mon, exactly HOW did they think we have $30k a year for ONE kid?!?!?!), but I sort of knew what to expect, and how absurd it was, from CC.</p>
<p>And, interestingly enough, most of my buddies with the Ivy/West Coast Ivy degrees are looking a lot “lower” for their kids, at least not the top U’s…it’s a new ball game out there.</p>
<p>Speaking of Grinnell…my D eliminated them off the bat because they sent mail to her addressed as “Mr.”</p>
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</p>
<p>She might have to get used to it - my alma mater sends me mail addressed to “Mr.”</p>
<p>I can understand being annoyed but at least the person spoke up…I would way rather have someone ask me to change the subject then have them start avoiding me because they thought my conversation was too centered on one topic.<br>
Your friend was up front with you…if you don’t have other subjects you want to pursue with her then it’s time to find someone else to walk with or get an ipod but you have to give her some credit for being honest. I find lots of women have a hard time being that up front about things…</p>
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<p>I thought Vermont was a hoax. I’ve never met anyone who has actually seen the place. I finally decided it didn’t really exist. ;-)</p>
<p>Bethievt</p>
<p>Would you mind video taping it when you spit tacks? I would love to see that. :)</p>