<p>Nope. It’s Delaware that’s the hoax. Have you ever noticed that you can drive through it on I-95 without ever seeing any cars with Delaware plates? And that all the kids at the University of Delaware are from New Jersey? I don’t think anyone actually lives there.</p>
<p>This is the time of year when a lot of families finally have to face up to the brutal financial realities of college. Yet many people are reluctant to talk about family finances. That could be what’s bothering your friend.</p>
<p>Months ago, I found that I could easily talk with other parents of seniors about colleges. In most cases, our kids had different tastes and aspirations, so there was nothing competitive about the conversations. But now, money has reared its ugly head, and many parents are having to say to their kids, “It’s great that you were admitted to both College A and College B, and I know that you would prefer College A. But you’re going to have to go to B because we can’t afford A, and the financial aid wasn’t good enough.” I don’t talk about colleges anymore unless the other parent brings it up first.</p>
<p>You could be right about the FA thing. She was laid off from her job right after the FA forms went in. They’re not likely to get a good package.</p>
<p>Vermont doesn’t have to exist; it’s more a state of mind.</p>
<p>Marian - It’s funny you should say that about Delaware. My husband and I lived and worked in Los Angeles. When he got offered a position in Delaware and we told people we were moving, a number of people said " Delaware?, What state is that in? "
We could not believe our ears! LOL</p>
<p>Many years ago, I was talking to a New Yorker about my home state (MN) and she thought the name of the state was “Minneanapolis”! Maybe that’s where Delaware is.</p>
<p>bethie,
I realize that the offer is a bit late, but I will come to VT. to walk with you. I have biked in VT., and I would prefer to walk. I will discuss CC “issues” with you for 1, 2, 3 hours. Each day. Your choice. ;)</p>
<p>bethie,
I had a situation somewhat similar to yours with my daily walking partner and neighbor. We were really close friends, talking over many issues about our families and I thought she was a friend I could truly count on. After walking together for months, she one day announced that she really wanted to walk faster and farther than I did and hoped I would understand that she couldn’t walk every day any more with me, just occasionally. My feelings were really hurt. After a few days, she changed her mind (and apologized) and we did start walking again, but I don’t feel the friendship was ever the same. She moved away several years ago.</p>
<p>Do you have a dog, bethie? I now walk with my two dogs, and they don’t change the subject unless they see a cat.</p>
<p>Bethie
It was alright whenSHE wanted to discuss acceptances. Now that your S is in at a great college, she’s withdrawn. I’d wonder if she’s jealous.</p>
<p>I lucked out, in that S applied last minute as a junior. Never expected too much, and aroused no jealousy among his friends. Of course, I discovered CC too late to advise S about essay topics etc.
I was a good resource in future years.</p>
<p>Devil’s advocate-
It’s entirely possible that your “friend” is, at this moment, telling someone, “that Bethie…she never talks about anything but college, college, college. I’m so tired of hearing about her college talk I could spit nails. For once I’d like to talk about anything else but college! I try to change the subject- I’ll talk about coworkers, skiing, even other kids! But the conversation always get back to college, college, college!”
Just a thought.</p>
<p>She probably is. But I think I say one word for every 100 of hers; instant replays of every conversation she’s had all day. And she walks too fast for me too. But today she suggested taking me out to breakfast for my birthday. Friends are a mixed bag…</p>
<p>Maybe some of you can relate to this: right now, college is almost the only thing I’m thinking about, so I draw a blank for anything else to say. Pathetic, I know.</p>
<p>Bethie, I agree that Vermont is a state of mind!! :D</p>
<p>Regarding the financial aid…my brother also lost his job after his daughter had applied to college and for financial aid but hadn’t yet enrolled and it is important to let financial aid offices know if your financial circumstances have changed since filing the original application. He did and it was adjusted. </p>
<p>Like I said before, it is understandable that college admissions is on your mind, but I have met some people who just are sick of the topic and don’t want to talk about it as it stresses them out. So, it is just a different way of thinking. Again, get your fix here, as well as I am happy to go for that walk sometime.</p>
<p>I have a friend who is a teacher. She will get on the phone with me and vent for hours- her boyfriend, her cohorts, her mother, her ex…the list goes on and on. Then for one moment I’ll say something that’s going on with my kids and she’ll say, “OH PLEASE can we talk about something else other than school? I LIVE IT every day…”<br>
So I know how it goes to feel like a sounding board. It’s just the way it goes. But you know- my friend is really a nice person. She just doesn’t know what she’s doing. She really doesn’t realize that she’s doing all the talking. Oh well. They know not what they do… so if she’s willing to take you out to eat, she really does value you as a friend. Take it as a compliment. Maybe you make her day as a good listener. There’s something to be said for that too.</p>
<p>Not everyone wants to obsess over the college thing. Your friend is bored with the conversation and has twice told you so. You may be bored with their conversation choices as well, but perhaps too polite to mention it. </p>
<p>If you value the friendship you will find other common interests to discuss and a new friend to talk college with. If you don’t, you’ll drop them. Simple as that.</p>
<p>Hey! Hey, Hey Hey! [waving arms furiously above head in order to be noticed] The First State takes offense to that. And since my S just got accepted to UDel today (granted, that means they completely ignored him when he withdrew his application after getting his ED acceptance) . . .</p>
<p>Hey, who is walking in Berkeley? I am here!!! Visiting my D for almost a week…you want to walk and talk college obsessions, PM me or email me ;)</p>
<p>I love how this has turned into a make new friends thread. I’m totally over my irritation anyway. I just had breakfast with both the “no more college talk” friend and the “Grinnell is not prestigious enough” friend. She’s wrong about Grinnell, but she’s still my friend and, frankly, I do talk about college too much.</p>