<p>My daughter will most likely attend a small, not-very-prestigious, but-perfect-fit-for-her college. 83 year-old Grandma (my mom), who lives with us, has always displayed her insecurities by flaunting brand name products in order to impress her old lady friends. Needless to say, every time said small college is mentioned, she comes back with, “But University of This, or University of That has a much more prestigious sound!” I know there’s no changing Grandma’s ways at this point, but instead of standing there and taking it, I would like some suggestions as a response to her. Nothing too wordy - just a short, respectful (since she’s old and all) response that gets the point across that my daughter’s pick of a Lil’ Ol’ college is perfectly fine and respectable. Thank you in advance!</p>
<p>“Thank you for your opinion. We will keep it in mind.”</p>
<p>“She will be the brightest fish in a small but beautiful pond. You WILL be so proud of her in four years.”</p>
<p>Never hurts to be nice to Grandma’s. If prestige/bragging is what she needs, give her the comeback that she can take to her friends.</p>
<p>“But they let so MANY kids into University Big Name. So fewer are admitted to Daughter’s College even though so many apply. She’s so fortunate that they wanted her to attend. Not everyone can be accepted there.”</p>
<p>How about the “hidden gem” angle … people who know quality in [D’s field] know that [school] is tops. But most average folks just aren’t aware of it.</p>
<p>If the school’s name isn’t good enough for Grandma, maybe the name of a notable alum is. Try, “Well, Gram, Perfect LAC was good enough for WhatsHisName. So, it must have something going for it.” </p>
<p>This will allow her to refer to the college in a name-dropping context, which you say she likes to do. </p>
<p>A school’s website or wikipedia usually list notable alums.</p>
<p>Ignore my post #2. I like DougBetsy’s idea better!</p>
<p>Thanks guys for all the input - I’m sure I’ll be using each and every one of your comments (and Lafalum84, your #2 is great also)!</p>
<p>How about: “This very hurtful to us. You know that your opinion means a lot to DD. I’d be glad to tell you some good things about her college, and hopefully you can enjoy it with her.”</p>
<p>You can also talk about the red carpet rolled out for your daughter (any grants, welcoming phone calls, warm words from admissions?) </p>
<p>We communicate as much with tone of voice as with word choice. Saying “Yes, many do pick Big Name U” in a utterly bored voice will communicate your opinion on THAT choice. </p>
<p>You can also say “I am so throughly PROUD of Prunella’s independence. She evaluated a dozen colleges and this was her first pick. No letting others do her thinking for her in our girl!” Bright and cheerful tones make this one hard to attack. </p>
<p>There’s also “I’d rather have one tiny gem than a pound of paste” or “Did you know that Queen Victoria had a favorite piece of jewelry? It wasn’t any of the enormous Crown Jewels – it was a tiny diamond pinkie ring given to her by Prince Albert. Queen Victoria felt sincerity was the most valuable of gifts. I do think our Betsy takes after the young Queen, don’t you?” (Dare her to not agree with you).</p>
<p>Gads, you could have such fun. This would be fun to think about as you are stuck in traffic – you can practice the perfect word choice and the perfect tone. Come back and share the best ones you get fired off!</p>
<p>How fortunate that D is so brilliant and motivated! We can all be so confident in her future success, no matter where she goes. It’s given her the freedom to choose her perfect-fit highly selective school, because she doesn’t have to worry about leaning on some too-big brand name. Lesser students might not have the luxury.</p>
<p>I think Dougbetsy’s answer hits the nail… and in this case the nail is a name… and grandma can drop to heart’s content.</p>
<p>I think that it is another Dougbetsey smile and nod moment. </p>
<p>My comeback would be that DD would be willing to go anywhere that you are willing to pay 4 years of tuition for her to attend (that just because my tolerance is really low when it comes to these kinds of things and it doesn’t matter who is making the comment).</p>
<p>Another comment - Mom, didn’t you always teach us that if you have nothing nice to say to not say anything? Well, this is one of those times.</p>
<p>I like DB’s idea but wish that I could pull off one of Olymom’s with a straight face! :D</p>
<p>I’m with DougBetsy. Grandma just doesn’t know anything about the smaller school - give her some information, and some impressive things about your D’s school to brag about, and she’ll probably be bragging and name dropping more than anyone.</p>
<p>“Mom, it’s a good thing that I have a sense of humor.”
or…
“I love it when you say that. It gives me something to post on CC.”</p>
<p>“Your right Grandma, BIG State U. is a good school, but it doesn’t have my major. I want to study tact.”</p>
<p>Granny: “Big state U. is so much better.”</p>
<p>You: “Yeah, they have a great mortuary science program.”</p>
<p>or</p>
<p>You: “Yeah, I think that’s where Dr. Kevorkian went.”</p>
<p>“Oh, Grandma! Please whisper when you say such things. DD will be helping to pick your nursing home, and we don’t want to upset her”.</p>
<p>;-) JK</p>
<p>“Thanks, Grandma. We’ve noted the reputation factor on the pros/cons list.”</p>