Completely, 100% disagree.
It is not EVER a teacher’s job to shame young men and women- especially about something like their bodies. I’d be FAR more p***ed off if a teacher was doing this to shame someone than if s/he was attempting to do it to be cool.
Look, I am someone who absolutely advocates for kids to fight their own battles. I didn’t have any parental intervention in high school and had to do everything on my own. Hell, I even lived on my own for parts of high school. In some ways I am grateful for that (in other ways it made life harder, but I never had to deal with anything terrible). But you can bet your bottom dollar that if my parents found out that my teachers were using derogatory sayings like “slut” that they’d have intervened so quick everyone’s head would spin.
It is hard for a student to fight a battle like this, especially with a well-liked teacher. Most high schoolers don’t want to make waves and this is something that is well above something like trying to make up a missed quiz. This seems to be a systemic problem and that is well above the heads of most, but certainly not all, 16 year olds.
If a teacher was concerned about inappropriate dress I’m sure that there are policies in place to deal with that that would not require her to name call her students. Sounds like she’s desperately trying to be popular and definitely blurring the boundaries between teacher and student .
@musicmom I’m curious as to what he says. My 20s-something BIL was staying with us this weekend. He works at an alternative school in a pretty bad district. I brought this up to him and he was kind of horrified that a teacher would say something like that. They’re taught to keep very clear lines between themselves and students (which many of the students try to constantly cross with younger teachers- he even had a student who told him to break up with his fiance so that they could go out.)
It does not matter whether they are high school, middle school or elementary school, slut shaming, calling anyone a slut in school is not acceptable. every year we must sign the NYC DOE Chancellor’s Regulations policy as it pertains to verbally abusing students. ANY adult in a NYC DOE facility who verbally abuses a child (and if you are attending a NYC DOE public school as a student, you are a child regardless of age), would be subject to investigation and disciplinary action.
IIRC, I think the main reason the age of the students came up was in reference to whether the students should complain, or if this is something the parent should take on, not that it would be less offensive if the students were older.
As a young teacher (early twenties) who works with older high school students (up to ~20), it would never even occur to me to refer to my students as sluts. I think it’s totally inappropriate and frankly pretty messed up
I don’t think I could even use that word at work. It is unbelievable to me it could be used at school (teacher or student) without any consequence. It blows my mind a parent would even question whether it would be appropriate to escalate. I personally would have just skipped over escalation and call the teacher to the carpet.
I have never used that word and would definitely take some action if I knew the teacher was using that term in class, with reference to students. Terrible!
Still doesn’t matter, because the student can talk to anyone that they are comfortable speaking with. Every adult who works in a school is a mandated reporter and is responsible for reporting any incidents of verbal abuse.
That does not mean that the child still cannot tell their parent what has transpired at school. If something happens in your school, you take care of the well being of the child first, then call parents.
Many of the teachers at D’s school are somewhere between 25-30. This year alone she has 4 of them, and last year had 5. None have EVER spoken like that to the kids, to “be cool”, to make a point or to suggest more modest attire (and really, there are many more constructive ways to suggest that. I’d be as angry at that use of the word as any other. In fact, the school has a yearly seminar on women’s empowerment (and a boys’ seminar too). “Slut shaming” is a topic, as is general anti-bullying addressed with the entire school.
I don’t care how old the kids are in this scenario, how cool or popular the teacher is, her choice of words is unacceptable. My H and I would be in the principals office over this. D has handled her own battles for a few years now, but this language is beyond the pale.
Do I think this is a fake post? Probably not. I’ve heard of worse-a Seattle guest teacher used the “N” word with some black youth in an effort to “speak their language”. He was forced to resign. So a popular teacher trying to be cool with using “slut”? I can see it happening.
OP, and those who are recommending recording the teacher…you should be aware that in some states, both parties are required to consent to a recording of a conversation. Check your state’s laws before doing something foolish.
In many states, only ONE party needs to consent to any recording (the person making it), but I agree that it is best to check your own state laws on the issue.
My D experienced something like this–a teacher said something inappropriate during an AP biology class. I wrote an email to the teacher, but didn’t send it right away, waiting to see what happened the next day in class. D feared retaliation from the teacher/grades, as she was a homeschooler/part-time student and the teacher had questioned her placement in the class. It was only a couple weeks into the school year. My D wanted the credit, did not want to drop the class, but didn’t want to risk going through the year with the teacher (potentially) holding a grudge against her.
The teacher said the same thing again the next day. Fortunately another student called her on it at that moment in front of the class. The teacher apologized. I was thankful that student had more courage than my D. (All the students thought the teacher was out of line, but were afraid to challenge the teacher.) Another time my (then middle school) son was treated inappropriately by a gym teacher (he was injured in class, and the teacher wouldn’t let him go inside to the nurse–instead made him stand in front of the class bleeding “as an example of what NOT to do.”) I wanted to report that teacher, but didn’t because I knew that my son (non-athlete) had to get through the rest of the year with that teacher. (My son was not seriously injured, otherwise I certainly would’ve reported it.)
Some schools have a way to report bullying anonymously. I know this is usually used for students bullying other students, but maybe this behavior could be reported that way?
Hmm. Here’s a reason I’m skeptical of this story. If my kid came home with a story like this, I’d begin by asking my kid a number of questions, such as how often this happens, what’s the context, what other names does she use, etc. I don’t think I’d post about it here before asking a few questions like that.
No. She should not say this. Totally unacceptable. Girls have a tough enough time just navigating this world without some ridiculous teacher calling them names. The only time I have gone up to school was last year. The sole purpose was to put the teacher on notice to not call my kid names. You jack with my nice kid and I will jack back and I am not so nice when you call my son a name.
although I have to say I agree that you should not go to defcon 1 like the other writer unless you really know it happened…I am sure she was joking but it was not appropriate.
I wonder if she calls her girlfriends “sluts” as well. I remember seeing that on an episode of Modern Family, where Haley was speaking to one of her girlfriends affectionately in this manner. Her younger sister tried it later during an alum interview for college, thinking it made her look cool to the alum, who had seemed to be a “hip” younger woman. Predictably, it fell flat.
Regardless, it’s totally inappropriate. I’m just wondering if this is some kind of slang which is used in certain circles, which isn’t taken in a literal sense in that context. Bizarre though, that there appears to be no ability or desire to understand how awful it is, particularly in this context. And after having been told already that it is offensive, the willfully belligerent attitude about it is inexcusable.
On seeing the title of this thread I was expecting to come in and see something that was in fact NBD. I exclaimed
out loud at my desk on seeing the names you mentioned It is a big deal.
