<p>I’m an 18 year old girl and a college freshman…computer science or engineering major</p>
<p>Is it strange that I don’t party?
I’m really against drinking underage and dressing slutty…and that seems the requirement for girls at parties haha. I’m very pure and innocent I would say</p>
<p>I have a nice group of girlfriends in my foreign language class and several classmates in most other classes so I’m fairly satisfied with that. I’ve never had a boyfriend, but I don’t feel like there’s anything wrong with me…I’ve had a guy in my math lecture randomly compliment my clothes 3 days in a row. Don’t think I’m ugly or anything…and not overweight either</p>
<p>At the beginning of the year in September/October I had a big crush on a guy who appeared to be super nice in my math discussion… that led to me being too friendly and calling him to hang out and he just kept telling me he was busy and leaving the Facebook conversation. He didn’t come to lecture since October believe it or not afterward (but guessing not because of me, just didn’t like the early morning class). He parties a lot so guessing he drinks a lot too. He let slip he has a girlfriend in November when I last chatted with him on Facebook. But his status still says single?! (even now) I feel like an idiot for being so friendly and thinking we would eventually date or something cause he seemed so perfect…</p>
<p>I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do to find a serious, loving and pure boyfriend who is not into the party scene…I don’t want flings like everyone seems to be having, and I can’t even think about sex unless we moved in together or planned to be together forever/marry. Kind of old-fashioned that way I guess</p>
<p>Is my approach wrong to be friendly to guy classmates and ask them to hang out (like to study, or restaurants/cafes for lunch/coffee)?</p>
<p>I try to ask them about interests, academics, hobbies, and just anything I can think of to talk about but soon I feel like the conversation gets stale or something when they realize I’m completely innocent …or boring</p>
<p>I’ll be frank: most guys in college don’t want to wait until marriage to have sex with a girl, and some don’t even want to wait until they’re dating a girl to have sex with her. </p>
<p>You might have better luck meeting a guy in a more conservative setting. If you’re religious you might consider joining one of your campus religious groups or something like that.</p>
<p>I’d say a great majority of guys at most schools aren’t really going to be into that. It’s fine to be that way, just recognize that you’re in the minority (as you seem to have done) and don’t judge those who do party, because judgmental people really suck.</p>
<p>Are you religious at all? Try joining a church group, probably plenty of guys (and just people in general) who might be more similar to you.</p>
<p>You seem too eager to get a boyfriend. Enjoy college, make friends, join clubs. Honestly, college is not the best place to look for a long term relationship. For now, wait and see if the right guy comes along. If it doesn’t work out while you’re and undergrad, any worthwhile guys should be over the party scene once you’ve graduated.</p>
<p>You act like it’s so easy to start a relationship in college otherwise!</p>
<p>There’s nothing wrong with not partying, but I think you’re really exaggerating here. I go to a huge party school, but even with that label there is a huge portion of campus that does not party or drink. Girls who do party or who dress provocatively are not finding boyfriends left and right. I think you’re confusing hooking up with a serious relationship.</p>
<p>From this post you do sound pretty boring. You haven’t mentioned anything about your interests besides the fact that you don’t party and don’t “[dress] slutty”. If this post is any indication of how you speak to people on campus, I’m not surprised that the conversation get’s stale! Honestly, most people do not have a problem with someone who does not drink/party. If you’re just having a casual conversation with someone, not really sure how the topic would come up.</p>
<p>Lastly, going into every conversation you have with the intention of finding a boyfriend is asking for failure. It’s like going into every conversation with the intent of making that person your best friend. Usually people who are this forward aren’t looking for a relationship, they’re looking for a hook-up. The boyfriend/relationship stage comes after you’ve spent time with the person and know that you have compability and chemistry.</p>
<p>It’s great to have standards, but you have to realize that if your standards eliminate a good portion of population, then it’s going to be that much harder to find someone that fits your qualifications. Especially in an atmosphere where the majority of men are not seeking a serious/permanent relationship.</p>
<p>I’m kind of the same way, but I’m a guy and a high school senior. I feel the same way as you, it seems like the vast majority of girls party and drink a lot. So just know that not all guys are like the guys you’ve seen at college.</p>
<p>Don’t look so hard for a guy. He’ll come your way eventually.</p>
<p>I’d say, follow the advice of getting around some religious groups on campus. In the religious group that I’m in, at least three couples have either gotten married (one eloped) or are engaged. They all met in the group.</p>
<p>As a girl who parties…it’s not helping us out in the dating scene. We don’t get asked on dates; we get texts at 2 a.m. on Saturdays. The kind of guys you’re looking for are involved in religious groups on campus as several people have already stated.</p>
<p>“I’m kind of the same way, but I’m a guy and a high school senior. I feel the same way as you, it seems like the vast majority of girls party and drink a lot. So just know that not all guys are like the guys you’ve seen at college.”</p>
<p>dude, you’re not even in college. LOL
i didn’t start drinking until freshman year and now i party a lot. you don’t know until you know. and yeah i’m sorry that a lot of us aren’t trying to date, but some of us are. i usually don’t, but i found someone that i actually would date (surprise: we didn’t meet at a party) and i’m not having a huge amount of luck either. always works out like that doesn’t it? well i hope everyone finds what they’re looking for. haha</p>
<p>I was entirely unaware that I had to dress “slutty” to party. Not all of us do, by the way. (I’m 21, so I won’t comment on the underage thing). Also, I’ve had a couple of relationships in college (senior now).</p>
<p>But as others have said, it’s fine if you don’t want to do those things and I’m sure that there are plenty of like-minded people at your school. You just have to find them. But to echo what others have said: the best “luck” I’ve had with dating has been when I wasn’t actively looking for a guy. Relax! You’re only 18! It’s not something you should be stressing over.</p>
<p>Last note: facebook is not the be-all end-all for a person’s relationship status.</p>
<p>
LOL.
As a female engineering student, I can definitely confirm the saying is true: the odds may be good, but the goods are often VERY odd.</p>
<p>Also, not to say you should change your morals, but you’d increase your pool of potential suitors if you got rid of the “wait till marriage” thing. I’m not into one-night stands and booty calls but I’m also not gonna wait till marriage. I just wanna date a girl for a while before doing it.</p>
<p>It’s not strange at all that you don’t like to party. If it’s not your thing, then you just don’t do it. Besides, parties aren’t exactly a good environment for finding a potential significant other. Just join some student organizations that you’re interested in and meet people! I also want to find a boyfriend, but I love partying and know that it’s not a place to find a boyfriend. Be patient and remember that there are lots of guys and a lot of time, so don’t feel bad if your first interests don’t work out!</p>
<p>“Also, not to say you should change your morals, but you’d increase your pool of potential suitors if you got rid of the “wait till marriage” thing.”</p>
<p>If she ditches her morals (which seem pretty strong) just to get a boyfriend, he’s not going to respect her. </p>
<p>I’m the same way, and yeah, it is a big turn off. But honestly? If a guy doesn’t want to date you and get to know you without having sex, then he isn’t worth your time. There are plenty of amazing guys out there who have the same morals. The religious group idea is a great one.</p>
<p>“Also, not to say you should change your morals, but you’d increase your pool of potential suitors if you got rid of the “wait till marriage” thing.”</p>
<p>Yeah… I’d say that’s a bad idea. I know if it were me, I would totally end up resenting the guy and it would completely ruin my relationship and neither side would be happy in the end. There are some things you can overlook and settle for, but others really should be non-negotiable. It’s all personal decisions though and op is still young and could change her mind about things.</p>
<p>I think what others are trying to say is not to change your morals but not to announce them to a potential date. If you’re looking to get married in the next 3 months, then forget sentence #1. Concentrate more on living the life you want, and then the right person will be attracted to you.</p>
<p>You’re not boring, you’re just level-headed. And that’s a good thing. I’m not sure what college you go to, but if its anything like I’m imagining how you’re describing it, it sounds like its quite the party school. LOL. And let’s face it, most guys at that age are punks who only want to sleep around. Save your dignity and don’t compromise your comfort to accommodate some dounce looking for a one-night stand. Just enjoy your friends and the right guy will eventually come along.</p>
Not all of us do, by the way. (I’m 21, so I won’t comment on the underage thing). Also, I’ve had a couple of relationships in college (senior now).</p>