<p>I an in general an anxious person, and lately I have been under pressure that I have applied to myself. There are times I feel as if I will accomplish nothing, and I sometimes cannot shake that feeling off. What is your advice as parents that have dealt with stress in your children’s lives?</p>
<p>Thanks in advance.</p>
<p>Counseling can help a great deal including very short term counseling with a licensed therapist who has worked with adolescents with similar problems with perfectionism.</p>
<p>I agree with northstarmom. </p>
<p>What sorts of volunteer work have you done?</p>
<p>Sisters of Mercy & Red Cross.
I think I go through phases of reassurance and insecurity. I think all I want is for this pre-college experience to go away and for me to go straight to college. But at the same time, I like it for what it is. Does it make sense? :)</p>
<p>The advice of a middle aged adult who still goes through unreasonable phases of anxiety and insecurity…if you can get some help/counseling for it while you are young - DO IT.</p>
<p>Lol, i guess i’m going nuts!!</p>
<p>What do you do for the Sisters of Mercy and Red Cross?</p>
<p>For minor stress I recommend meditation, yoga and getting enough sleep.</p>
<p>debate addict, Northstar Mom’s suggestion of short term counseling is actually quite sensible. There is a lot of research that says it can be more effective than long term talk therapy…a couple sessions for problem definition, agree on the area that is causing you distress, and focus a couple or three sessions on the problem you and the counselor have identified, reevaluate, decide to redefine the problem and go at it again a bit more or conclude.</p>
<p>You are a young adult…and it takes us all a while to figure ourselves out and to acknowledge our vulnerabilities. Applying for college can seem a little weird when you are only “putting your best foot forward” for admissions but feel anxious more than is good for you and worried about the next phase in life. You are going through a transition time and there will be disequilibrium. This is not “going crazy.” Counselors are very busy at college with kids who are coming to terms with their limitations and temperaments and shifting views of self and friends. Respect the process. Don’t expect to be anything but a person in the making, and learn more about yourself and your own “self talk” and habits. Talk to someone is my advice.</p>
<p>Actually, I have done some Yoga in the past and it helped me a lot! For example, prior to my Mittelstufe exam, i spent an hour doing Yoga and all the stress was gone. I will go with that! How come i didnt think about it.</p>
<p>@ Adad: Sisters of Mercy I go every weekend at the Soup Kitchen, and Red Cross I help raise money (though it is not the exorbitant sum people tend to visualize)</p>
<p>I am inquiring because volunteering to work closely or one-on-one with others showed me that those with whom I worked often placed an unexpectedly high value on my presence and role. Others can find significant value that we ourselves may not truly appreciate.</p>
<p>
A thing that has worked with all of my kids is this idea:</p>
<p>If you are so afraid of failure that you do not push your gifts to the max, then you have obviously failed to use the gifts God gave you.</p>
<p>If you push your gifts to the max and yet fail to reach some goal, well what more could you have done? Its not like you can actually do better than giving it your all.</p>
<p>If you give it your all and it works out, then you’ve just experienced the success that will from time-to-time come to those who give it their all, and that very rarely if ever comes to those who are too afraid or lazy to try.</p>
<p>So, what is the real goal that matters here? It is just giving it your all, and not worrying about the outcome. Just pour it on so that when you go to sleep, you know you could not have done much else. If it works out, great, celebrate. But if it doesn’t, you still never let yourself down. (You wanna be able to look back and say, “My goodness! I really turned it on, didn’t I?” Even if it doesn’t work out, you want to be able to say this with pride).</p>
<p>In all things, just get up, and pour it on! I am talking about creating a total whirlwind of effort and passion. Puke it if you have to, just don’t hold back. We’ll check out how the chips land after the storm you create subsides.</p>
<p>Thanks. I am gonna do just that. </p>
<p>But it’s not that big of a deal, there is no need to inflate it. It’s just the stress and the pressure as I have mentioned. By the way, I started yoga and it is amazingly helping me cope with it all.</p>
<p>Thanks for the advice everybody, and Drosselmeier, that was very inspirational.</p>
<p>One important thing to realize is that if you ask most people - even ones who you perceive as very successful - they will admit that there are times when they feel insecure. I remember reading about a very famous TV reporter who says she still feels insecure at times.</p>
<p>I’ve found it helpful in certain situations to pretend that I’m playing a role- so I can act the part of a person full of confidence even though my insides may be turning to mush.</p>
<p>Hope this helps</p>