Interracial Dating

Parent Cafe
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<p>If I were the girl’s sibling, I’d be like “I don’t know how to tell you this, but she has cancer.” Proceed to tell an elaborate story about it, and then minutes later, be like “Just kidding! Oh, btw, she’s dating a black guy. Bye!” Just to make him realize that interracial dating should be a non-issue.</p>

<p>I was surprised that interracial marriage did not become legal in all 50 states until 2000. Alabama was the very last one to strike down its anti-miscegenation law.</p>

<p>Hah, I happen to be from a multicultural family. The following nationalities are currently represented in our family circle: Scottish, Vietnamese, Chinese, German, Irish, English, Ethiopian, Portuguese, Filipino, Nigerian, Japanese, Spanish, and Mexican. Lots of mixed kids running around in reunions :).</p>

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<p>

That’s what me and my friends say when justifying dating different colors of women.</p>

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<p>isn’t it sad that it has to be justified, and why would you?</p>

<p>if you have to justify dating a person of a different hue, etc., you need new friends</p>

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<p>So for all of you who say it’s okay to marry someone of a different race as long as they are of the same religion OR promise to raise the kids the same religion as you, isn’t that discounting the culture of said person in scenario b. I know there are some but not many people who identify themselves as African-Americans who also consider (or are willing to to consider) themselves believers of a certain faith. To me: saying you will accept your kids’ choices in terms of races but not of religion seems a convenient way to pay lip service to familial diversity but not actually accept it if they won’t raise the kids in a certain faith.</p>

<p>There is a big difference between buddies/platonic friends and boyfriend/girlfriend.</p>

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<p>Both daughters have shirts that say “Real women do not date Yankee fans” I’m not sure my DH could ever live with two Ds or S getting involved with a Yankee fan.</p>

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<p>OK justify isn’t the right word, you know what I mean though. :p</p>

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<p>I disagree about the religious aspect. religion is a choice, skin tone is not, and sometimes, later in life, a person religion can come back pretty strong, and can be difficult to deal with, especially if it is a sudden shift, which it often is, kids come along and bam, lets get them baptised, etc</p>

<p>as well, many religious BELIEFS are something my Ds nor myself could not nor would we chose to deal with, and why should we</p>

<p>we are all prochoice, should we be involved with someone who thinks our beliefs in that regard are sinful, that is very different from rejecting someone because their skin is lighter or darker, and it is not hypocritcal</p>

<p>a person religious faith and how much they practice is a choice, and those beliefs can cause conflict</p>

<p>they also have friends of various faiths, however moral, ethics, tolerance etc would abosultely limit who they would chose to date, and it would not be a matter if they were Jewish, Muslim, Catholic, Baptist or Flying Spagehetti Monster worshippers, it would be how those people judged and thought of others, and yes its okay to not want to tolerate those that are intolerant, that argument gets old</p>

<p>I couldn’t be around, nor would my daughters date, a KKK member as the morals, beliefs, ethics are a choice, they would have difficult time being friends with someone whose religious beliefs taught that gay people were sinners, etc, and that “friend” really believed the same thing</p>

<p>They have and could date a jewish person, a non-religious person, etc, and their friends, well who knows what beliefs they have, however, my Ds do know that their friends have the basic core beliefs of tolerance, service, live and let live, so long as no one is hurt</p>

<p>I would guess that politically would be a big deal breaker for them, but as that often has to do with morals and ethics and how others or treated that is a very fair distinction to make- ie they both, as well as I do, have arguments with those that are politically to the right, is that wrong? no because that is a choice of a belief system, not how a person was born and to whom</p>

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<p>Some states may have had residual miscegenation statutes on the books until 2000, but it all amounted to a handful of dust in light of the fact that The Supreme Court declared such laws unconstitutional in the 1957, “Loving vs The State of Virginia” ruling (the year I was born). No such States’ Laws have been legally enforcible since then.</p>

<p>Interestingly enough, the state of Virginia now has one of the highest percentages of interracial couples in the country, especially in the Tidewater/Hampton Roads and NOVA regions. My H and I are just one among thousands (he’s white and I’m black. Thankfully, we have experienced very few negative comments directed toward us concerning the racial composition of our marriage over the past 23 years (24th anniversary is this Sept.) Neither have our kids experienced any overtly negative social consequences as a result of being bi-racial (at least according to them). In school, and without preamble, they HAVE very often been asked to explain their “racial provenance” on countless occasions by kids they barely even know— a phenomenon they have at times found to be more than a bit galling. But bi-racial and multi-racial kids of virtually every conceivable combination are extremely plentiful in this region. A lot of them are from families affiliated with one or another branch of the military. Both H and I use to be in the Navy, for instance.</p>

<p>We met while stationed at a Naval Air Station just outside of Memphis, TN, btw. Amazing, huh? When we went to City Hall for our marriage license, the wizened old lady who processed our paper work didn’t even blink. She quickly filled out the forms, handed us a goody bag full of coupons and product samples (everything from laundry detergent to condoms), and said with a smile and a sweet Memphis drawl, “Congratulations, from the City of Memphis”—LOL. All the rest of that day, we proceeded to periodically fix one another other with a broad smile and loudly say, “Congratulations, from The City of Memphis!” This was in 1983.</p>

<p>I agree that the term, “mulatto” is extremely offensive. It means, “mule” in the Spanish language, I believe—referring the sterile offspring resulting from the pairing of two separate species, a horse and a donkey. All human beings belong to a single race, as someone has already pointed out, therefore, the mule analogy in no way applies. The term implies that there is something explicitly “unnatural” in the pairings of persons of different skin colors, as in the mating of two separate species of animal.</p>

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<p>Eww, I didn’t know the origin of the word “mulatto”. That’s terrible. I have a friend who is half of a biracial couple, their daughter is beautiful. I can see, though, children innocently asking, “what are you?”. In a way, it’s a good thing that there is at least openness among kids discussing their backgrounds (as long as it’s not meant in a judgmental way). In the old day, it would be whispered, hush, hush behind people’s backs.</p>

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<p>When I used it, in quotes, it was meant only to point out how inappropriate the term was, when used by the post I was addressing. My grandmother’s descendents (my nieces, and nephews, great-nieces and nephews, and first cousins once removed) are five different ethnicities. </p>

<p>It’s pretty obvious that the poster who did use it MEANT it to be offensive. (It’s kind of always the way with people who show up in the Cafe on this kind of thread with 0 posts, 0 threads, and their debut posts are inflammatory). Wonder whose ghostnic it is?</p>

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<p>Grey’s Anatomy I’m good.</p>

<p>I haven’t really watched this- but I know my 17 year old likes it- whats wrong with it?</p>

<p>When my mom was in high school ( same high school D attends) her parents ( who were rural midwesterners) were apparently :eek: when they saw interracial couples ( this was the 50s)</p>

<p>I don’t think that it is an issue now- although I do have an impression that some still feel it gives them an extra note of * edginess* without the pain of a tattoo, to date outside their race.</p>

<p>They don’t necessarily have same sex friends or many same sex friends of a different race- but a romantic relationship needs an extra twist I guess.</p>

<p>It is a huge difference to be dating someone because of the similarities * in spite of* the differences- than it is when you are “dating” someone * because* of the differences</p>

<p>Mixed relationships- whther that means race- economic/educational background, religious, or even just an engineer and an artist, can take work- but anything worth living with takes work.</p>

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<p>EK4: Grey’s Anatomy: my D describes it as “Sex in the City Hospital.” It’s a little (hell, it’s a LOT) over the top. I love it, personally. I’ve actually watched it LIVE (and we have Tivo, and I HATE commercials).</p>

<p>As for the rest of this conversation: I will be thrilled when my children find lasting strong love with people who see them with all their beauties and all their flaws. That’s hard enough without asking that their lovers be on the same race/religion/nationality… although I do hope that, if they choose to be married, I’ll like the parents.</p>

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<p>The very first “inappropriate” joke my father told me was an elaborate shaggy-dog story about a Jewish mother bemoaning the fact that her son wanted to marry a non-Jew, and the punchline was that the intended bride was black. It wouldn’t even be remotely funny now – I doubt anyone would even get it. At the time, it was like a rite of passage – my father acknowledging that I was old enough for grown-up humor. I felt so big!</p>

<p>One of my favorite slivers of pop culture was the group Dr. Buzzard’s Original Savannah Band, one-hit wonders for the song “Cherchez La Femme”, but far more interesting than that. The leaders of the band were a pair of half-brothers with the same white, German father and African-American mothers, and the band had an explicit program of promoting mulatto culture – that was the word they used. Disco, European music, jazz, soul, and Latin music (one of the other members of the group was Puerto Rican) all mashed together. They were smart, and funny, and musically sophisticated – very New York, and the type of popular culture Stanley Crouch would have liked. (One of them, August Darnell, has had a long career, mainly in Europe, as Kid Creole and the Coconuts.)</p>

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<p>Kid Creole and the Coconuts</p>

<p>They sound familiar I think I have seen them play- weren’t they in Against All Odds? ( so sue me, I like Jeff Bridges)</p>

<p>that reminds me of a musician I briefly dated ;), when he was in another band in Seattle, ( before I was married- this is his latest)</p>

<p>[url=<a href=“http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Molotov_(band)]Molotov[/url”>Molotov (band) - Wikipedia]Molotov[/url</a>]</p>

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<p>Molotov is a big deal! Sort of the Beastie Boys of Mexico, and probably about the same degree of popularity, relatively.</p>

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<p>really?
When I knew Tito he was in the Dynamic Logs- a pretty popular band around town- some musicians don’t make very good boyfriends however( their hours are too irregular- although I do have several friends who are married to one)- but they are fun dates! ( just show me a guitar and I am hooked :D)</p>

<p>and to try and bring it back to topic- I rarely brought any of my boyfriends to meet my mother- ( I had moved out when I was 17)</p>

<p>She was shocked years later however, when we were talking about race & I mentioned I had dated an African American man ( actually I had dated two- but one was a very bad decision-not related to his race).
I was surprised that she was surprised.
I had, always had friends of different ethnicities, even in the suburbs & we were raised with “liberal” values.
But I also think it is hard for people to get away from their early childhood values- which is why it is important to have diversity in education</p>

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<p>this thread is extremely disturbing to some one like me who is an Indian.</p>

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<p>why, kARTHIKSMART?</p>

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<p>Someone asked earlier about religion. I don’t think it’s a problem for dating, but I do think people should consider what’s important to them before having kids. I know a lot of people who married people that they thought were not religious until children came into the picture and their partner suddenly felt very strongly about Sunday School or Hebrew School or whatever. If you are going to be inflexible about your children’s upbringing perhaps even the dating question should be considered, though personally I think you gain a lot by getting to know people of different faiths, just as you learn from people of different economic backgrounds and different ethnic backgrounds.</p>

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<p>In response- </p>

<p>Well I am going to the USA for college from an Asian country. The fact that Race, plays such a big role in the partner youre going to find, is very very disturbing. </p>

<p>hell, you like somebody for who they are. not for their skin color and orientation. </p>

<p>so lets say, somebody judges me saying, eww he is indian, he probably( <em>insert stereotype</em> ) and *GASP * he is ASIAN, I CANT DATE him!</p>

<p>thats downright racism. HELL, in case you parents who are against the interracial dating scene in this forum dont realize what youre doing, let me tell you youre views ILLEGAL. </p>

<p>I am not sure if CC formus should even be discussing this .Mod please look into it.</p>