<p>In my family it would be OK to look at pictures on a camera. I can understand a 19 year old doing what this girl did.<br>
My co-worker would have preferred to keep peace for the final few days of the family, and had hoped to avoid this type of blow-up (which was the norm).
I believe the wife was abusive to the older girls, and I don’t see any problem with my sharing that with my friend. I have a stepson myself (older) and he was interested in how things worked out for our family when my husband and I married. I personally had very little interaction with the wife- I met her at two social events and she bad-mouthed her husband within the first minute of my meeting her (before he and I were close friends). No, I wasn’t impressed. The last 7 years were pure hell for the family, so I have a right to from my opinions.</p>
<p>LTS-
In response to post #129
MOWC started this thread asking for opinions about a certain circumscribed incident, and gave a snapshot (pun intended) of general details. She is an attorney. She knows how to give facts and I am sure could have, if she chose, provided more. Come on - get real. You do not need to know the entire history of the relationship between all the family members to answer the OP’s question. Around here, it seems that it is never enough. Oh, if we had only known this… or what about this… But wait-- if she had provided more, or when she did provide more, she got ripped a new one for knowing too much personal information and accused of having an inappropriate relationship with a coworker. Jeepers, why can’t some of you just share a thought and answer a question without ripping apart the poster and implying all sorts of nasty things about their character? What pleasure do you get from this? Do you like it when it is directed at you?? If you have a different opinion on a comment made by a poster, fine. But stop shooting the messenger. MOWC asked a resonable question and gave a reasonable amount of background information to posit an opinion. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to get the general “gist” of the current situation in that household, and the past history would probably not provide much additional salient information re: the question posed. Move on already. Some people ask what time it is and think they need to be told how to build a clock. </p>
<p>When couples have disagreements- there are always two opinions “mine and the butthole’s”, to twist a phrase. Of COURSE we are hearing one side of the story. Big surprise. So what. Are you going to tell me you never form an opinion about anything with only one side of the story?? Geez Louise, Don’t you listen to the news? YOu think the news is unbiased? It fosters this kind of opinion formation all the time. So if I was in a marriage that was ending (happy to say this is not the case, so I must hypothesize here) , would I care that my h. was having a third party get opinions about some incident? Frankly, I suspect that I would have bigger things to worry about. and as for this statement
. 'Scuse me-- take a look in the mirror, sweetums. This is exactly what you and a few other unkind posters are doing. If you think it is uncalled for, why are you doing it??? As you pointed out, you started that thread about the ditzy wife- giving general information and soliciting some opinions. Are you mad at yourself for doing is to are taking out your anger on this OP?</p>
<p>You go, girl!</p>
<p>My thoughts exactly. We went from, “How can we answer without understanding the background” to “OMG, how could you share all that and, come to think of it, what kind of sleazebag would even TALK about such things with a co-worker!”</p>
<p>I am so disappointed in the conduct of some of the CC posters that I have requested that this thread be removed, but I can’t seem to get a response on that request.</p>
<p>MOWC, before it disappears, I thought I’d chime in. In our house, if you want anything to be private, you put it in your bedroom. Anything left out on a kitchen counter is fair game. As far as posting the issue in the first place, I don’t think it’s a problem. While we who post think that everyone in the country has heard of CC, I’m pretty sure that’s not true. I haven’t read every post, but this sure has taken a strange journey. The discussion certainly isn’t as bad as conversations I’ve overheard in restaurants etc.</p>
<p>^^ This is off topic but it seems that a ‘delete thread’ funtion the OP could exercise would be a nice feature for a board like this.</p>
<p>can we also ask for a “delete poster” button too, ucsd<em>ucla</em>dad? ;)</p>
<p>Oops-- just realized my last sentence in post #142 was full of typos-- It should read:" Are you mad at yourself for doing it so are taking it out on this OP".</p>
<p>Jym, I am not sure why you are so upset when someone’s opinion differs from your own. Surely you must realize that when you deposit content in a thread like this you’re more often than not going to receive some very diverse opinions and responses. I am not sure what you expected, but, the difference between what you expected, and what you received in this thread just might hold some important information for you. Perhaps you should consider that. And, I would think that diverse opinions would be welcome - as I’ve posted before, I’ve never learned anything from anyone who agreed with me all the time. </p>
<p>By the way, you didn’t answer my question. Try to imagine, just for a minute, that you’re the exwife in this scenario. How would you feel about this thread? </p>
<p>My original position stands.</p>
<p>LTS-
I think you are confused, as you seem to miss my point entirely. I have no issue whatsoever with differing opinions. Of COURSE opinions differ, and that is why a poster asks a question such as this, to hear differing views. Why would you think otherwise? What I DO have a problem with is rude, abrasive comments and unnecessary attacks on posters for what sometimes seems to be for little more than sport. What has happened to common decency? Sometimes It looks like Dr. Laura around here. Some unsuspecting person comes with an innocent question and they get chewed up and spit out. For what? Just to incite an argument? What pleasure do you get out of being nasty to people. Fine, be blunt. Be direct, but don’t be a jerk. And in case you didn’t get it- I don’t really care if my h were to have a friend ask questions about some incident on a forum. Big deal.</p>
<p>That’s interesting, Jym. Considering the original, broader topic as the OP intended it - a question of invasion of privacy - relatively speaking, a snapshot of a bedroom, or scrolling through someone else’s camera within the confines of a household represent relatively benign actions (unless of course the phots of the bedroom should find their way onto billboards, into print media, broadcast over the internet, etc. - but MOWC has not said that has happened yet) - compared to the matter of a spouse or soon to be ex-spouse invading the business environment with personal issues, and bringing the subject matter to the internet, for strangers to sit as jury. </p>
<p>But since you’d be o.k. if your husband did this (and that’s totally o.k. with me - that’s your call) - theoretically speaking, at what point would some line of privacy be crossed for you? Is anything about your marriage that he might choose to discuss with coworkers and strangers more or less o.k.? If there’s a limit for you, or even for married persons in general, where is it?</p>
<p>I don’t have a clue where you are trying to go with this, LTS. You seem to be trying to make a mountain out of a molehill. I can’t hypothesize about some arbitrary artificial boundary about some hypothetical situation. People post questions about personal situations here all the time, and don’t get “permission” from the people they include in their post. We share information about our kids (good and bad). The news media prints information without asking permission of the person they are reporting on. Your point is moot. But you sure seem to dance around the fact that there is a HUGE difference between a civil discussion with sharing of opinions, vs the unnecessary arrogant, abrasive attacks and challenges. The “holier than thou” attitude that some people take is distasteful. One can have a civil discussion without throwing down the gauntlet. Go pick a fight with someone else.</p>
<p>But I haven’t attacked anyone. I merely positioned a series of questions, based on the original question of invasion of privacy…in my opinion. based on what has been posted, this husband is committing a serious breach of privacy. Your opinion differs greatly - which is totally o.k. That’s a fairly normal occurance in the course of human interaction. I guess I need some help understanding, why is this so troubling to you?</p>
<p>You seem to think you know what I think and feel, LTS. Lets see, so far you think that I am upset (wrong) and that something is troubling me (wrong again). So, no point in my bothering to respond to your posts-- you do a fine job of doing it yourself. If you think calling someone or someone’s behavior sleazy is not attacking them, then oh, silly me. Again-- go pick a fight with someone else, LTS. It feels like we are in the Michael Vick thread here. Attacking for sport. I dont play that game.</p>
<p>Not to pile on, but what I don’t understand, LTS, is this. Why do you persist in moving this thread off topic? Frankly one could come to the conclusion you are deliberately seeking controversy. </p>
<p>This thread isn’t about what people consider a breach of trust in their marriage, which is truly nunya. Everyone has their own rules in their own marital relationships, all of which should be respected by outsiders. If it works for them, then who is to say they are wrong?</p>
<p>This thread is about privacy issues as they relate to viewing another party’s digital camera without permission or taking photographs with a digital camera of another party’s personal space without permission. I suppose a natural progression to the topic of posting personal information without permission on a forum might be expected on this thread, if that is what MoWC had actually done. But, AGAIN, she posted facts as she knew them with full knowledge and encouragement of her co-worker. (Now, our adult poster who published a minor’s facebook content without their knowledge…that’s another story…
) </p>
<p>So why you persist in taking this thread down a path baffles me.</p>
<p>The thread is about invasion of privacy, correct? MOWC’s original post involved a question about boundaries crossed (or not) when scrolling through another person’s digital camera memory without permission. She gave VERY personal details about the family involved, so naturally, the larger issues of privacy were addressed — Stepmom taking photos of the rooms, H revealing marital problems to a co-worker, etc. While H may have given persmission to post, the stepmom and his D’s did not, I presume. The older D was identified as a May West Point grad. She’s a female. (Not too many of those.) We know what state her dad lives in, his occupation, her family situation. She’s pretty easy to identify, if anyone is interested. </p>
<p>I thinks questions of marital relationships, co-worker confidences shared, opposite sex platonic relationships, etc. are logical & interesting tangents.</p>
<p>They (tangents) might be interesting to some and even okay, if the discussion was kept to the theoretical or at least general…and if not, at least there wasn’t deliberate twisting of facts in the face of repeated clarification by MoWC. We’ve all seen there has been little tolerance here on CC in the past for posts that make negative implications about a poster’s character. Why we seem to think they are okay here on this thread, I do not understand. </p>
<p>Personally, I think the discussion of the camera and room privacy needs the background story of conflict between the parties to make the discussion meaningful. What is NOT needed is an evaluation of whether or not the friend of the OP was proper in confiding to the OP (and all the accompanying judgement, innuendo, and character assassination). If you all want to discuss marital breach of trust in theory, I’d start another thread.</p>
<p>And I know I’m speaking for many when I say I don’t understand why SOME people have taking this thread so far off base. An interesting trend as of late, I might add.</p>
<p>What part of “the marriage wasn’t discussed until the divorce was announced” don’t you understand, LTS and crew? </p>
<p>If, as StickerShock says, so much information was shared by me that the family can be traced, I reiterate my request to DELETE THE THREAD!</p>
<p>It has gotten nasty and off-track, and I have seen threads removed for much lesser offenses.</p>
<p>
If they had this feature I’m sure I would have been deleted long ago.</p>
<p>^^^ LOL. I suspect if there were such a button this forum would have only a small number of members. But YOU, ucsd<em>ucla</em>dad? Naaah. You’re a keeper!</p>