<p>CGM
Who should a military person keep their room neater than?
A doctor?
A housekeeper?
A sanitary engineer?
A housewife?
A biologist?
A pig farmer?
Where is the manuel that tells us all how neatly we ought to keep our rooms based on our professions? :rolleyes:</p>
<h2>“To do so [talk about divorce or marital problems in the workplace] would have been viewed as unprofessional, even sleazy, and the behavior and information would have raised doubts about the individual’s ability to perform their job well.”</h2>
<p>My understanding is implying negative things about others’ character or intelligence is not allowed here on CC. I realize the insinuation is deliberately vague, but I think statements likes this come dangerously close to what is considered unacceptable.</p>
<p>To be even more direct: If the FRIEND of MOWC had worked where I have worked and was telling co-workers about the things he has told MOWC, his behavior would have been regarded as sleazy and unprofessional, and he would not have been considered a strong candidate for advancement.</p>
<p>MOWC has not said anything here indicating that she tells her coworkers her personal marital problems, so my comment was not about her behavior or character.</p>
<p>calling people sleazy and unprofessional isn’t very polite, people. can we please get back to the original topic and stop the character assassination??</p>
<p>agree jym. The original questions at hand are…is it acceptable to pick up someone’s digital camera left in an open place and view the pictures?..and is it acceptable to enter a young person’s room and take pictures of their personal space without their knowledge or permission?</p>
<p>This was not told to co-workerS! It was told to ME, a co-worker and close personal friend. How in the world would it reflect on someone’s ability to do their job? It’s not like we sit around in our department meeting and talk about our spouses! We share confidences with each other- sometimes at lunch, sometimes at the bar and sometimes during a break in one of our offices.<br>
I just can not for the life of me see how talking about a situation that happened between someone’s daughters and their stepmother during “move out” week to a close friend is detrimental to the sanctity of the workplace.<br>
I get much juicier stuff coming in over our compliance hotline!</p>
<p>Northstarmom- Call me sleazy and unprofessional. I share a lot with my co-workers, especially about problems with my kid. If I disagree with how my husband handled something, I might share that, too. Is that a marital problem? </p>
<p>I’m beginning to think “unprofessional” is a compliment, given some of you on this thread!</p>
<p>I want to mention something. Our very compassionate and highly regarded CEO (Fortune 200), told me that he regrets that his male executives are not comfortable sharing problems and weaknesses in the workplace. He feels we recently lost a very talented executive because he bottled up a lot of things and finally kind of blew up. He (the CEO) said he would rather someone come to him and tell him they were struggling with a personal issue so that he could provide some help or at least understand what was going on.</p>
<p>I think the attitude of some of you on this thread contributes to the thinking that people shouldn’t turn to others for help in the workplace. That is not what our company wants to be about. If my part in this is listening to my normally “closed” co-worker talk about his painful divorce and kid-issues, I’m happy to do so.</p>
<p>MomofWildChild, I don’t think your original question can be credibly answered. You’re asking about a specific, isolated situation that represents a tiny sliver of someone’s household, and the intertwined lives in that household, and a few minutes out of years of living together. There’s no reference point for what may have been acceptable in the past, and that perhaps doesn’t really work any more. For example, perhaps, a few years ago, when the daughter was younger, photographs of bedrooms without permission - and looking through developed photos without asking - were perfectly normal, and acceptable, and perhaps even encouraged and enjoyed by everyone. Perhaps to a young lady who has returned from college, those actions and activities that were just fine and even representative of happiness and sharing when she was eight or 10 years old or whatever are no longer acceptable. In some families, I think it takes the parents a jog or two to keep up with the changing/growing child/emerging adult. I think the best you can hope for in this thread is that everyone can post what THEY find acceptable in THEIR home and with THEIR children/spouse, which, as a grouping of data points, is completely useless, since each person can only live in their own households, and not in anyone else’s. </p>
<p>jym, look at this from another viewpoint. Say you’re married, or just ending a marriage. Your soon to be ex has a problem with something you did or that you failed to do. He goes to work, and tells it all to a colleague, admittedly a close one who is also a friend. He furthermore encourages this colleague to post the information on the internet, for strangers to comment on. He even tells her what to post. So now, you have a few dozen people who have never met you, do not know your side of the story, casting judgement on you, commenting about you, your motives, your behavior, etc. How would you feel about this?</p>
<p>How do you feel about it? HOw do you KNOW about it? I doubt his ex-wife is closely following the doings in the Parent Cafe!
I suspect the young woman who ldmom mentioned as being totally slammed and identity COMPLETELY revealed on this forum would be a little more upset!</p>
<p>LTS
Honestly there is not enough information here for anyone to figure out the identity of the folks in question here. I do know that I live nowhere near MOWC, but the situation she describes happened almost exactly the same down the street from me last year. There is simply not enough information to discern who this is…so stop castigating MOWC!</p>
<p>I’m just wondering where some of you folks live, in Plymouth Colony perhaps??? :rolleyes:</p>
<p>LTS- Didn’t you start a thread earlier this year where you described what a horrible person you thought your CEO’s girlfriend is and asked for opinions on the situation? I may not be remembering correctly, but weren’t some of the same things raised that you are slamming ME about??</p>
<p>mowc, you talked about the wife marrying for money, and I got that…your dig to the ex was very noticiable, and I think your views on the situation are colored by your obvious dislike of her, maybe fair, maybe not</p>
<p>and sometimes being someones confidant gives one a sense of power</p>
<p>and my H works closely with lots of guys, can spend days with them at out of town on golf trips, and most guys don’t share, and if they do, it is minimal</p>
<p>dude, getting divorced, pass the beer</p>
<p>MomofWildChild, you’re exactly right. And I knew it was a mistake - and regretted it - the minute I did it. I was asking for help on how to end the business relationship, though, which we have since done, although it was a bit expensive. I do regret the thread and I will never start another one like it. But I wasn’t asking for what you appear to be asking for - you appear to be asking for an opinion on a very small fraction of a person’s life, from a jury that has no visibility into the precedence of similar activities in that household over the course of many years, or the nuances of those relationships, and therefore cannot know what has been acceptable or even enjoyable to them in the past. So, I have attempted to explain that I do not think you can get an empirical answer. </p>
<p>But, I am not surprised to know that the line in the sand is that as long as the ex-wife does not find out about this thread, it’s all perfectly o.k. to go down this road. </p>
<p>Collegemom, not that it matters or that I think anyone is doing this, but, any reasonably educated 16 year old with a decent internet connection and about $20 worth of software can text mine their way through the available historical threads and pinpoint the exact identities, addresses, etc. of the majority of us here.</p>
<p>^Probably could but IMHO why???^</p>
<p>CGM so sad and so true…MOWC you are being a good friend. :)</p>
<p>
Discussing a personal situation that impacts one’s ability to perform their job function with one’s manager (or higher level management) is recommended at most workplaces for the reasons the CEO stated. Management can generally offer guidance including referrals to professional counseling and explain any benefits the company might have in this area. It also can help the manager to at least understand some of the reasons for the performance issues and work to mitigate and resolve them. </p>
<p>This is different than having those discussions with co-workers though. I’ve seen some people go overboard confiding in co-workers to the point where they’re wasting the co-worker’s time/productivity as well as making their co-worker’s uncomfortable.</p>
<p>I’m not drawing any judgment on the MOWC’s thread though because she’s has indicated this is a person more in the ‘friend’ category rather than ‘co-worker’, she’s comfortable discussing it, and the context was more about this camera-peek than intimate spousal issues.</p>
<p>there is a difference between discussing ones personal situation and discussing the dirty details</p>
<p>sometimes, a person find a confident to share those details and maybe that energy should be spent maybe on the relationship</p>
<p>and if not, you don’t look good bad mouthing a spouse who you were married to for 12 years, and saying it is okay for Ds to look at her camera</p>
<p>what if no “questionable” pictures had been found, then would it have been okay?</p>
<p>that is the question</p>
<p>CGM
MOWC stated clearly that the dad did NOT approve of what his daughter did.</p>
<p>but MOWC thought it was okay…it cab go either way…guess the “motives” matter a bit?</p>
<p>MOWC has already stated that she has no horse in the race. What are you suggesting CGM?</p>