Less likely that a medical doctor half finished with residency is 25 rather than 28.
Maybe he doesn’t know she’s 17. Maybe he’s not really a doctor.
I’ll add my voice to those who think that this guy is too old for a 17 or 18 year old freshman. I don’t know if he’s a physician. I think there are some other medical occupations, e.g., nurse practitioner, which also have "residency’ programs. I think they are usually one year.
This is not about the residency and the details of it. That is beside the point. That’s not what I’m asking about and if you’re confused about the timing and details of it, idk what to tell you. You also don’t know when my birthday is or when his birthday is. As of today, there is a 7 year age difference. My question is focused on the age difference and whether or not I should end this or give this a chance. I’ll give this more thought and than come back. I would disclose how we met, but I don’t want y’all to judge me lol. If you wanna know just PM me, but you would have to keep it private. I’ve asked what would make him interested in me considering the age difference and he has brought up my maturity and also said that as long as everything is consensual, isn’t much of a big deal. But I’ll talk about it more with him and give this a bit more thought.
“You also don’t know when my birthday is or when his birthday is. As of today, there is a 7 year age difference.”
And you are missing out collective point: whether 7 years is a big deal or not, the answer depends on the other circumstances. That’s why we keep asking the question - not because we want to pry into your private life.
If you are questioning yourself about the guy, you likely have some doubts and reservations… Listen to your internal voice and trust your instincts. If something does not feel right, it is likely not right.
@Madison85 He is who he says he is. I’m friends with him on Facebook, I’ve met his friends, including coworkers. He’s not just a creeper lol. Do you think I am being naive or too trusting?
Until I read this sentence, I was pretty sure you met him in an organized religion setting! 
I dated a lot of guys at your age–some were college classmates and others were through the house of worship I attended off campus. Many of those in that latter group were much older and I ended up marrying someone 10 years my senior. Age, alone, does not confer maturity, and a young guy can be as deceptive and misleading as an older one. My biggest concern for you would be if he’s a distraction to your experience at NU, which you’ve worked so hard to achieve. I totally get not wanting to tell your mama unless it gets more serious, but your OP suggests it’s on the verge of that already. I know parents can be really overbearing, but do consider their feelings here. Would they be more hurt knowing you concealed the relationship than upset that you’re dating an older man (or anybody??)?
Personally, as long as he gets who you REALLY are, and respects you, I don’t see any real issue. If OTOH he is controlling or thinks he can plan out your future for you, I’d go running as fast as I could!
You’ve known this man for only a few weeks and you’re considering having sex? If you were older or this wasn’t your first time away from home that might not be so worrisome. I think you need to slow down. And yes, serious relationships are a big deal. If seeing you isn’t a big deal to him, maybe you should reconsider dating him.
Agree you need to slow down and not make any decisions to deepen this relationship until you resolve the age difference issue. It would make me wonder why someone of his age is interested in someone as young as you–just don’t buy “you’re so mature.” Females his age or older would be more mature.
I’m really surprised by some of there responses. No one who knows me today would think I’m all free and easy, but I feel downright wild compared to some of you.
When I was 19 and a sophomore in college, I started dating a 30yo who I met through a summer program. We dated for about 18 months, and our relationship was wonderful. As everyone could have predicted, when things got serious and he started talking marriage when I graduated, I balked. He had graduated years ago, had a career and a house and all the trappings of adulthood. I knew that I needed more life experiences, especially coming from a sheltered household, before I was ready for marriage. But it was still a great relationship that I don’t regret for one single moment.
Why can’t Cali date this guy and see where it goes? She’s not committed to marry him. He might prove to be a jerk and break her heart. So what? Unless she has reasons to think he’s dangerous or lying, this is called living a life. We can’t predict or control how any of our kids’ relationships and lives will go. They have to make their own mistakes. It’s called living a life.
The fact that she is asking for advice on this parent portion of the board indicates that she herself has some doubts/concern/guilt - whatever. So maybe that question should be posed to her? Why is she doubting it?
Cali,
Just be friends. Modern equivalent of dating a million years ago. Go and do things you both like once a week. Hold hands or whatever. But just don’t make it serious. Neither of you have time for that now. Enjoy it for what it is and do t get caught up texting/emailing/phoning him with all your free time. You’re a smart kid. You know what you should do.
Agree with #50. Drama and a more serious relationship would sap a lot of your energy that you need for your studies and experiencing college.
I’m not good at keeping posters straight and just don’t have the bandwidth to remember everyone’s back stories (sorry! But I do love you all!!!), but I do kind of remember Cali likes to bounce things around here in the parent forums. I get the sense that she doesn’t have a close relationship with a mom who’s a little judgy and so I can see why she tries out things on her cyberparents. Sure, she’s questioning it, but people in the cafe post about all kinds of things, just to get help and judge others’ temperatures. I don’t think that her asking here is a red flag. It’s just what she does.
Full disclosure: I also had a sheltering, judgy mom. I lied to her about the age of my bf. I am so grateful that I grew up before the internet so she never learned the truth. 
@Youdon’tsay IMO there’s a big difference between a freshman and sophomore in college. I can remember the dean of students at my college way back when saying that the biggest change in female students was between freshman and sophomore year. She said the growth that year was just amazing.
While Cali has said she trusts this guy, the difference between freshman and sophomore years is reflected by the difference in the statistics re the number of female college students who are sexually assaulted freshman year vs. sophomore year. Sophomores are a LOT more savvy. (I’m NOT saying I think Cali has to worry about this guy doing things she doesn’t want to do. I’m just saying that the difference in the percentage of freshman vs. sophomores who experience problems is due in part to the extra maturity that year brings.)
Plus, freshman year is when people make friends and get involved in activities. Most young women tend to pay less attention to their friends when they become romantically involved with someone. If you’ve been friends for a while, it’s annoying, but girlfriends usually get over it and are there to pick up the pieces. If you do it freshman year, especially first semester, that’s often not the case. It’s not that freshman girls are less forgiving. It’s that friendships haven’t really jelled yet and if you aren’t around much, well, you simply won’t make as many close friends.
Now, I’m sure there are exceptions, but as a general rule, I think it’s wise to avoid romantic entanglements your freshman year–especially with non-students.
I agree with much of what you’re saying, jonri, and don’t think this guy is likely to be her One True Love. But I fall on the side of she has to learn that herself. And that’s OK. Experience is what we call our mistakes. Nothing she’s written indicates that the guy is truly dangerous and so, for me, dating a guy seven years older while you are in college is in the normal range on the dating continuum.
In my opinion, dating a guy seven years older when you’re in college is a bad idea simply because he won’t be sharing your interests. Date someone who can enjoy college with you, and enhance your experience and extend it, instead of removing you from it.
I am fascinated to learn how many posters whose voices I have come to know and to respect here dated significantly older men when they were in college! No one I knew did that. I know several people who, when they were 23 or 24 and in law school, had relationships with lawyers who were 6 or 7 years older, or in one case 20 years, but that was considerably different.
When I was 25, I had absolutely no interest in 18 year-old girls. (Well, OK, I had a high-powered, 24-7 job, and I was engaged. I officially had no interest in any girls but the woman I planned to marry. Unofficially, interesting women made me take notice, but 18 year-olds were not interesting.) I barely had any interest in 18 year-old girls when I was 21 and a senior in college.
My instinct is that a 25-year-old man entering into a serious relationship with an 18 year-old is probably a relatively insecure, relatively immature 25 year-old man. There’s nothing inherently wrong with that – Lord knows, if the OP were involved with someone her own age, he would likely be very, very insecure, and very, very immature, and the relationship would likely be a distant memory before she got to find out what kind of 25 year-old he would be. But I would be sensitive to the possibility that his insecurity and immaturity would express themselves as a desire to “groom” young, sexually inexperienced woman, to be “all his” in a way he might think no more sophisticated woman might be. That is pretty common, but it’s ugly and exploitative, and, while people survive it, it’s not the kind of growth experience you would want a friend to have.
This thread reminds me that most 18 year-old women – as uninteresting as they may be to world-weary 21 year-olds – are actually pretty good at looking out for themselves. If they feel good about a relationship, then it’s probably something they can handle.
^^^ Like an onion, we posters have many layers. :D/
@CaliCash, if my daughter told me she was dating someone 7 years her senior (she’s 20), I’d express some concerns (different expectations from this stage of life, distraction from studies, emotional challenges, etc.) but there’s no way I’d “forbid” her to see him. She’s an adult, even though no one my age really thinks of their college student as a fully fledged adult. 
But young adults have to be free to make bad choices, or they won’t learn. And we as parents have to be free to express our opinions and to be proven wrong on occasion. I don’t think this relationship will end well, but I think you need to figure that out for yourself.
I agree that it can be isolating if you’re more into dating than “finding your tribe” in the first term/year and then the relationship fizzles. That happened to me and I had to “find my tribe” and new life the following year, when I was a JR (2nd year after transfer). I didn’t have a good support group to fall back on after things went south in my 1st two terms. I survived.
I would be concerned if either of my kids dated someone who was no longer in college while they were in colleges different life phases.