<p>Let me preface this by stating that I’m not a hater of gay/lesbian people; the only reason I’m bringing up sexual orientation in this thing is because the guy she is hanging out with is openly gay, so she’s obviously not cheating on me with him. </p>
<p>Anyways, here’s the deal:</p>
<p>I’ve been dating my girlfriend for going on 8 months now, and she’s always had this gay friend who she hung out with every once in a while. The past few weeks, though, have been ridiculous. We used to hang out pretty much every day, but I’ve probably seen her five times over the past two weeks, and no longer than an hour each time. I’m always inviting her to do stuff, she’s just “busy.”</p>
<p>Which brings me to the gay friend. Everything that I could possibly be doing with her while she’s busy, she declines to do with me and does with her friend instead. She spends a lot of her time studying, but she never invites me to study with her. She does, however, invite her gay friend almost every time. She’s moving out of her apartment soon and needs a place to crash for a few days and also to store her stuff. I offered to let her store her stuff at my place and stay with me (we’ve done this stuff before), but she said she’d already made plans to stay at gay friend’s place. Whenever she wants to run errands, she calls gay friend up to give her a ride, not me. </p>
<p>Am I wrong or is this getting to be ridiculous? I’m not saying that I mind her having this friend, but come on, spend a little time with your boyfriend too, right? It is ridiculous that whenever she does anything with anyone, her friend, rather than her boyfriend, is the first person that she calls. I can’t even remember the last time she invited me to do anything with her; I’m always the one who suggest everything. </p>
<p>Anyways, anyone have any input? If this guy wasn’t openly gay I’d be concerned about cheating, but he’s not interested in women at all so I don’t know what the deal is.</p>
<p>That is pretty odd, especially that she’d rather stay with him than you. Have you noticed anything wrong during the time you do spend with her? Have you asked her about this? If there isn’t something wrong with your relationship, she might realize she’s upsetting you and spend more time with you.</p>
<p>A few things. For example, we used to hook up at least 3 times a week early on. We haven’t hooked up in going on a month and a half now, and its not because I haven’t been trying. Whenever I ask her about it, she doesn’t want to talk about it.</p>
<p>Like BillyMC said…ask her about it and then ask to explain why this is going on. There isn’t anything wrong with her hanging out with friends but this is…a tad extreme.</p>
<p>That does sound odd. Definitely talk with her. Maybe even have a talk with him. There could be something going on in his life, and she wants to be there to support him.</p>
<p>First, I wouldn’t really refer to him as “gay friend”. Would you refer to her female friends as “straight female friend”? It just sounds really weird and kind of homophobic, although I know you didn’t mean it. Just a heads up. </p>
<p>And yes, that’s weird. Just talk to her. Tell her everything you wrote to us. That should have been your first avenue :). Always talk to the partner! It solves a lot of issues, or so I’ve learned from personal experience.</p>
<p>I know. Hence why I said “although I know you didn’t mean it”. It just sounded really weird reading “gay friend” throughout the whole thing rather than merely “friend”.</p>
<p>How do you know she isn’t cheating on you with someone that isn’t gay? The gay friend is probably a cover. She’s probably cheating on you with someone, and the gay friend is the cover.</p>
<p>No, this dude is gay. Like flamboyantly gay. He’s not a borderline gay guy that could be wavering in his homosexuality and is hitting on her; he’s her version of Youtube’s “sassy gay friend.” </p>
<p>Thanks for the input, though. I’m looking forward to talking to her once she decides she has time for me again.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t assume she is cheating on you. I would, however, sit her down and have a serious talk about what’s been going on lately. You’ve been dating for eight months, yet you haven’t have sex for the last month and a half of the relationship—not a good sign. Not to be a pessimist, but maybe the relationship is over?</p>
<p>Frankly, I believe that she might just be losing interest and wants to move on. I’ve seen this so many times and it just hasn’t ended well. Keep in mind that failing relationships are just a part of life and that we all go through them… unless you’re extremely lucky.</p>
<p>Definitely talk to her and maybe the guy as well. IDK, you say she’s been doing this for a few weeks which is weird. If the relationship is over seems like she would have said something by now.</p>
<p>Start ignoring her and see what she does. Trust me. She’ll either try and get your attention again, the attention she hasn’t given a **** about for a while. Or she won’t, in which case it was over anyways and you can bag her.</p>