Is it easier for guys to make new friends with girls (than with guys)?

<p>One of the surprising things I’ve learned at college is that I’ve found it easier to make new friends with girls than guys. Just think about it: I can’t just approach a guy and say, “Let’s have lunch sometime”. Well, I guess I can, but that’s just not how I work. I hang out with guys; I don’t ask them to lunch or coffee. In order to make new guy friends, I usually have to wait for some masculine event to come up, such as a big sporting event or other mutual interest things that are largely out of my control. With girls, there’s a lot more things I can do. </p>

<p>I have a strong core of male friends, but that circle has not expanded as quickly as my group of female friends. It’s like after I get a bunch of good male friends, I don’t really have the desire to make a whole lot more. Sure, knowing more people is always good, but I don’t ever call them up to hang out. But with girls, it’s always the more the better. Has anybody else experienced the same thing?</p>

<p>I’m a girl. Its harder to make guy friends because anything a guy wants in a friend, they can more readily find it in another guy. They’re the same sex, so it’s easier to relate. And I don’t have cleavage, ass hugging jeans, money, or long hair to attract them so…</p>

<p>I’ll still take you, quitejaded ;)</p>

<p>Awww quitejaded. You don’t need any of that to attract a guy. Self-confidence is all you need. You wouldn’t believe the number of people who are attractive just because of the vibe they give off. Don’t let media’s interpretation of what is hot dictate (which it’s not) or even influence your life. </p>

<p>Also, when you say anything a guy wants in a friend they can find it another guy is not always true. I think lots of guys appreciate seeing a girl who can act like a bit of a tomboy and be funny and sometimes rude and rowdy!</p>

<p>Back to the point, grimfan, it depends how you’ve been brought up etc. Girls are a bit more open in general than guys, hence for me at least, it is easier to talk to a girl about important things than guys. Then again, we really can’t generalize that much. </p>

<p>With guys, often we don’t need to expand beyond our strong core of male friends. That’s what keeps bonds particularly tight. It’s only natural.</p>

<p>^I dont think I would prefer my gf to be a tomboy/rude/rowdy. I’d prefer her to be nice/sweet/adorable. I think it’s just human psychology.</p>

<p>But you probably mean as a friend only, which is true to an extent…</p>

<p>I’m a girl and I find it much easier to make friends with guys. The guys I hang out with are more academically motivated than most girls I know, but they still like to have fun. They like to have me around when they go out to have fun because then it doesn’t “look like a meat fest.” I tend to lose girl friends quickly because I don’t get involved in all that drama crap.</p>

<p>But yeah, I find it easier to make friends with the opposite sex. I’m actually dating one of my best friends; and I have been for over 6 months.</p>

<p>I think it’s easier to become a girl’s acquaintance, but to get them as a friend or girlfriend might be harder compared to friending (or boyfriending if you’re so inclined) a guy.</p>

<p>From my own experience, girls are more outgoing and not as shy.</p>

<p>Yeah, you’re right. It’s easier to make friends with girls than guys.</p>

<p>both females and males identify the person they trust the most/confide in to be female.</p>

<p>As a guy in a committed relationship I find it a lot harder to make friends with girls. It seems to me that girls don’t really want to take initiative to become stronger friends with a committed guy, but at the same time I don’t want to either because as a guy the sexuality always exists no matter how small.</p>

<p>Sooo most of my friends have been guys. I feel like I would have tons of girl friends if I was single or just dating or hooking up.</p>

<p>I’m an elementary ed major, so you can only imagine the female:male ratio. Therefore I have a lot to say about this topic.</p>

<p>It seems to matter more to who the girl is in terms of personality. I seem to make friends with intelligent athletic girls very quickly–probably because I’m an athletic guy with a decent brain. The girls I befriend also tend to be Republicans about 80% of the time, usually are younger than me by a year or two or three, and dress the same way I do (Abercrombie & Fitch). Usually they are apathetic to some degree about relationships.</p>

<p>When I was in high school, I had many of the above stated girls to hang out with. I found it easy to sit down and hold a conversation forever with one of them, often easier than one of my best guy friends. In college, these girls are almost nonexistent. My closest female friends are still the ones from high school. (So are the guys though)</p>

<p>As far as guys go–I find them extremely easy to talk to because of one thing–sports. I’ve met so many guys by merely bringing up some sort of sporting event. This is why, like most all guys, I have more guy friends than girl friends. A lot of our common bonds are in the gym, from a team, etc. With my guy friends, it seems like politics and whatnot don’t even come into play–I have plenty of liberal male friends to go with a bunch of conservatives. Neither do standards as much–I look for high morals in girls but with guys, it doesn’t seem to matter. Take my workout buddy for example. I don’t curse much (unless I’m really angry), go to church all the time, and am a firm believer in abstinence. This guy needs a seven second delay button to edit his everyday conversations and let’s just say he’s not a squeaky clean angel. Nonetheless we’re good buddies. Had that been a girl we wouldn’t even be speaking to each other.</p>

<p>Ucbhi–the whole sexuality thing, when putting that into the context of people being attracted to each other, does exist with every opposite sex friendship to a degree. A case in point–this one girl and I have been good friends for years but before we met each other my friend told me she had a huge crush on me. He even got a note from her to support this claim. In fact, the first time he saw us hanging out he wondered if I had finally figured it out or something. I was actually introduced to her by another buddy who asked her out and dated her for a week. I’m wondering if I had something to do with the split since it happened like two days after I spotted them/hung out with them at a fast food joint. Anyway, we are FRIENDS yet there is some degree of attraction that I can feel since she often makes a lot more compliments about my appearance than she does to other guys. I must admit though that there are some girls I will compliment much more than others, leading one of my buddies to believe that I was going to ask one of them out once.</p>

<p>The girl in question here is almost a clone of me. Our birthdates are within five days of each other (though I’m a few years older), we have almost identical strengths and weaknesses in the classroom, both have the same preferences as far as sports go, are both talented musicians, we both dress in A&F a lot, are almost the same height, both love to talk, have the exact same personality quirks, share the same “odd trait” (remembering exact statistics), and–get this–both had identical sophomore years in terms of performance–we both struggled mightly, especially in chem, during the first semester and then had incredible second semesters to bring up our grades. Social lives are astonishingly similar as well–neither of us really do the whole relationship thing in high school, both have a ton of friends yet don’t really party, and have one best friend who we spend a ton of time with despite having a lot of friends. Both of our best friends were not students at our school. We also both PANIC A TON about EVERYTHING, especially grades, and both of us like to get help from teachers and are frequently cited as teacher’s pets. About the only differences here are that I am older and a guy and she is more prone to illness and injury than me, plus she isn’t into computers like I am. Our music tastes are also a little different as are the instruments we played in band. When I met this girl, we started talking and never stopped.</p>

<p>If all girls were like this one I too would agree that girls are easier to make friends with than guys.</p>

<p>All of this would be an interesting case study for a psych course/paper. I may take a few more psych classes to get a minor in it, anyone else think I could use this for some sort of project?</p>

<p>Why do all the people on this forum have problems with building relationships? Simple: you’re asking people online for help instead of talking with real-life people!</p>

<p>This question is too subjective. Its different for everyone.</p>

<p>why can’t people quit wailing about relationship issues? dude, as far as i’m concerned, it bears absolutely no connection to college life.</p>

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You actually said something I agree with.</p>

<p>It is funny how so many CCers think this is like the “teen hotline for college kids” in terms of romantic relationships.</p>

<p>Romantic relationships suck. I think I mentioned that in my previous post in this thread using different word choice.</p>

<p>Making friends, though, is something I can understand here. You can’t make it through college alone. Friends are necessary. Romance just makes college more expensive.</p>

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Hahaha, kind of cynical and jaded are we?</p>

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<p>Agreed. My relationship is fantastic. And I’m saying that after three years, so that’s pretty damn fantastic :)</p>

<p>^^^^^^ agreed.</p>