It’s talked like race almost. If you criticize a college for genuinely being a horribly party school, you are treated like some kind of war criminal. Shocked me as an Asian as my culture fosters discussions as such.
When Penn State tried to restrict fraternities many alumni and even parents of currently enrolled frat students complained. all this despite the death of a frat pledge during extreme hazing.
A lot of parents are alcoholics too it seems.
I had a friend whose dream school was JMU (guess, parties). For once, I was surprised a student as smart as her was aiming for that school. I told her to, “have more ambition! I mean, that school for once, is a notorious party school. You can do better than the peasants there.” She instantly took offense and hates me now. I even got warned by teachers to stop, “talking about colleges in a condescending way because colleges don’t matter for your future(?!?!?!).” Honestly, this pressure on me to not strive the highest (yes, a teacher put me down from trying to go to the best college and trying to be the best) and aim big gave me depression and anxiety. F to my school
Honestly, I was a D-head when it came to discussion about colleges. I admit that b/c I always said the same thing, “we should aim higher (and continue spiel).” Why are Americans so complacent I don’t know
You really called a bunch of students you don’t know “peasants”?
And you can’t understand why that would come across as condescending?
The probably with saying some college has a “horrible” party culture is that you are likely insulting someone who either attended the school, knows someone they like that attended the school, likes the school for some other reason (great Engineering, it’s affordable, loves football…) I found people liked discussing colleges, but it’s better to be positive or to ask questions. “I’m a little worried about Penn State’s reputation as a party school, but I also here they have a great engineering department. What do you think?” Something like that might go over better.
To be fair, a school that is filled with partying non-academics is truly not a place where one should be aiming for. No offense, but this isn’t so much frowned at at least in my circle/Asia, but Asian culture is vastly different compared to American culture.
Is OP a child or an adult?
I think a student who takes advantage of the academic opportunities can achieve a lot of success from almost any school. The FACULTY aren’t the ones partying (for the most part), and they welcome serious students. My kid is a TA at a college you’d likely sneer at – she loves getting students who care about her subject and really want to learn it, and gives them a lot of time and attention. Don’t be a college snob.
So if your version of talking about colleges is putting down the local achools – yeah, I bet you got a poor reception.
Child
What I’m getting here is that there’s no taboo – it’s just that people don’t want to talk to you about colleges because you insult them when they try.
Have you ever heard, “You are not in Kansas any more?”
Honestly, that’s very true. My father teaches at a university he sneers at (it’s very true. My father and his fellow professors talk often about how horrible the administration is and the school is falling apart by accepting lower calibre students), but there is always that one exception
@bodangles Well, I read a Korean blog saying talking about colleges in the US and their rank is like racism in the United States, that it’s something strictly prohibited because of the “PC Culture” or whatever it is called.
There’s no taboo as long as you’re not condescending.
But you’re condescending.
I went to a school that was winning the title of best party school, yet I knew a lot of kids who never partied. Even the ones who did are very successful. There are plenty of kids who drink their way through Yale or Harvard(or don’t make it through).
Pick the school you like and don’t worry about what other kids pick. There are a lot of ''CC darlings" schools that everyone on CC think are wonderful, but I know they wouldn’t be right for me. It doesn’t make them bad schools, or mean that the students that do pick them are saints and never party, but that’s why there are choices, because everyone doesn’t want the same type of school.
American culture values the ability to rise above expectations. While it is great if you can be admitted to - and afford - a top-notch school, in many fields the school you attended does not make or break your future. It’s what you learned while in school, and how you apply that in your professional career, that matters. So yes, while many schools may have a horrible reputation, that doesn’t mean every student at that school did nothing but party. The students at that school who worked hard, and learned, and applied that learning, still have an opportunity to succeed.
That’s the American dream - that you can achieve your potential, rather than being stuck at a certain level based on your family’s education status, finances, or other limiting circumstances.
You know this cuz you read it on a blog? Sheesh.
We talk about colleges all…the…time. This is CC, after all.
What polite Americans try not to do is insult friends with hearsay masquerading as heartfelt concern and advice. You don’t know much about JMU, but you let yourself insult her choices, her thinking.
Next time, rather than pose as an expert or try to offer an amateur opinion, say “Great!” (Sincerely, I hope as you move to college, you remember this.)
It’s not a cultural difference. It’s good manners. I doubt Korean culture thinks it’s polite to willingly diss another’s ideas, hurt their feelings.
And her choices are not your business.
JMU has 91% of their graduates in grad school or working. They have students that attend top 10 grad schools. Tuition is VERY low compared to other schools (minimal debt). 82% graduation rate. The “partying non-academics” must be doing SOMETHING to pass their classes. It’s not taboo to talk about colleges. You’re just wrong. And a little rude.
There isn’t a taboo in the US about talking about colleges. But it IS considered pretty rude to trash talk various colleges that you really don’t know much about other than their reputation or “rank.”
Lots of students go to “party schools.” Lots of students also go to very highly ranked schools that are closet party schools. At pretty much ANY university across the US, if you want the party school experience, you can find it there.
You can usually attract more bees with honey than with vinegar. In other words, don’t say rude & judgmental stuff. The person you’re expressing your opinions to might not go to the school that you’re insulting, but they might have a sibling, a cousin, a close friend, a boyfriend/girlfriend going to that school or to one like it.
In American society, generally speaking, once you are done with college and you have your BA/BS degree, WHERE you went to college may matter for your first job or 2 right after college. But after that? Nobody cares. It only matters that you actually completed a degree. What you do with that college degree is what matters most. Your ability to grow your career will be based on the work you put into it…your ability to get a decent job will not be solely based on going to the primo #1 university in the whole country.
Hhhhmmm, @DankjeweI I attended a notorious party school that routinely held the #1 spot on the Playboy (and others) list of top party schools. Among my dear friends from my college days you will find; a professor at Princeton, an editor at a respected newspaper in Washington DC, a partner at a renowned international law firm, an actor on broadway and a high school french teacher. It would appear that wallowing with the peasants hasn’t held any of them back for attaining their career goals. College is what YOU make it.