Is it just me, or is everyone in college already "paired up"?

College Life
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<p>I just finished my freshman year of college (at a University of Wisconsin school) and am transferring to UW-Madison this fall. The thing is, it seems like every girl I’ve talked to this past year (I’m a guy) already has a boyfriend! I dated one girl for a few months in high school, but she turned out to be a literal psychopath, so that relationship didn’t exactly work out! Anyway, I can’t seem to find any girls (whose personalities I would be even remotely interested in–I’m looking for an intelligent girl serious about her education) that aren’t already “taken”, and all the other guys I know are always talking about their girlfriends.</p>

<p>From my estimates/observations, it seems like well over 90 percent of people on campus are either dating or in a more serious relationship, often with people they knew from high school (another source of frustration!) Is it really more than 90%, or are my perceptions skewed? Also, is there anyone else out there (male or female) who feels the same way? If so, what did you do to fix the problem or alleviate your frustration?</p>

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<p>Yeah, your perceptions definitely are skewed. Of a floor of 30 girls my freshman year in college, I would say the most to have boyfriends at any one time was probably between 5 and 10.</p>

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<p>UW-Madison should have plenty of single girls. About half the girls I know going there are currently single.</p>

<p>If you want to meet single girls, go to places like clubs where they flock to.</p>

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<p>I think your perception is a little skewed.The majority of kids I know aren’t in relationships and are either rarely going out on dates or just casually dating, with no real intention of getting into something serious.</p>

<p>I’ve noticed that the majority of the girls I’ve become class friends with are almost always taken, which is somewhat annoying. The girl and I will get to know each for a few weeks and I’ll become kind of casually interested. One day, we’ll talk about something random and she’ll nonchallantly mention her boyfriend and it’s at that point that I basically lose all interest.</p>

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<p>maybe only the good girls are taken</p>

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<p>It’s just you.</p>

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<p>Are you a creep/weird/strange/disgusting/smelly/etc? The probability of someone being “taken” is directly proportional to your creep coefficient.</p>

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<p>They’re all taken because it’s not supposed to be easy to find someone that matches you, that’s what makes relationships special.</p>

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<p>Where are you looking to meet girls? I’m a girl, but I can tell you that when I look for a boyfriend, I look for someone that I meet through mutual friends or a school club (not a nightclub, lol), where I can meet someone with a common interest. From personal experience, girls don’t go to nightclubs to meet guys that they want legit relationships with.</p>

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<p>If you are asking them “are you serious about your education?,” hell, I’d be running for the hills too.</p>

<p>By the way, college does not have much to do with education. You can get that from a book on your own.</p>

<p>I’d say it does have to deal with:

  1. social development and personal development through new experiences
  2. interacting and having discussions with professors/ peers
  3. a pedigree system; i.e. the degree is a sorting mechanism - it has no inherent value</p>
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<p>my college seems to portray the opposite of what you listed…</p>

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<p>I don’t think it’s that unreasonable to want a girlfriend/boyfriend to be academically inclined…</p>

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<p>Please ignore the person who advised you go to clubs to meet a girlfriend. Girls do NOT got to clubs to find a serious relationship!</p>

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<p>I don’t think most college girls go anywhere to hunt down serious boyfriends. It’s more of a go with the flow thing.</p>

<p>And most of my friends at college (myself and boyfriend excluded) aren’t in relationships and rarely date (not for a lack of want…)</p>

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<p>I said to meet single girls, not necessarily to find a girlfriend. </p>

<p>But it doesn’t matter. Who cares what reason girls go to clubs for. Do most of them go to a club to just grind their ass on some guy’s junk and make out a little? Probably. But if they like you, you can get a girlfriend from a club. You’re definitely going to meet girls (which is probably a problem for this guy), and at the very least can get some girls to be your friend, and then relationships can parlay from those friends’ friends.</p>

<p>I guess if you really want to go somewhere specifically looking for a girlfriend, you can try eHarmony, speed dating, or Nevada (just remember to pay for the girlfriend experience).</p>

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<p>its pretty obvious that the OP is in engineering…or physics.</p>

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<p>I think hookups are more common. there aren’t many relationships unless it’s crazy marriage serious or really love. i don’t think there is a lot of casual dating</p>

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<p>I just read some of the responses after having let this thread go for a while. I’m not an engineering or physics major, but I am pre-med. The truth is, except for that one girl (that psychopath) that I dated, I didn’t have time to do much of anything social in high school, including dating; my mother (who is the only family I have) is in very poor health and nearly died multiple times during high school. Instead of hanging out with friends and dating, I had to stay at home and look after her. It’s NOT that I didn’t <em>want</em> to date more and go out with my friends; it’s that I had to look after my mom all the time, since there was no one else to.
(This is what motivated me to want to become a doctor, btw.)</p>

<p>I don’t consider myself creepy or disgusting; I am 5’10", 165 lbs., and have no problems with hygiene. I consider myself intelligent, but I am not socially inept; it’s just that I had unusual family commitments during high school and never got to experience the social/dating scene that most of my friends did.</p>

<p>BTW, I would never ASK a girl if she’s serious about her education/career! I was just stating that I am looking for an intelligent woman who is confident in her own abilities.</p>

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<p>I don’t understand the mentality of going somewhere looking for a girlfriend. You’ll be desperate and it won’t work. Of the girls who I’ve seriously (exclusive, lasted more than a week or two) dated since graduating highschool here’s how we’ve met:
One at the place we both worked, one in the TV lounge in my dorm, two in class, and one at subway. No singles clubs, no set ups, no internet dating.</p>

<p>You’ve just got to make yourself open and available to a lot of people and you’ll eventually strike something with a few. Do I talk to a lot of girls where they blow me off or we don’t click and nothing happens? Sure. Does this bother me? In a cold spell maybe a little, but it isn’t so bad. You just have to talk to people whenever you get the chance and let whatever happens happen. I think the vastly overused word for it is “outgoing,” but I like to think of it as “living in a way that makes me happy and doesn’t leave me lonely and suicidal when I’m 40.” I guess “outgoing” is shorter though.</p>

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<p>Well, chuy, you do have to go out of your house or get out of your dorm room.</p>

<p>I would say that bars and clubs are amongst the worst places to look for meeting women or finding girlfriends. It’s certainly possible, but it’s like stacking the deck against yourself. It’s sort of pardoxical because while nightclubs are probably the “easiest” places to hit on girls, they are the hardest places to get a women home with you. If someone has had a different experience then chime in.</p>

<p>Anyway, I’m impressed that you met and found a girlfriend at Subway, chuy. You must be pretty outgoing and comfortable to connect with someone behind you in line or whatever for a few minutes.</p>