I don’t find it offensive…frankly my best friend’s son’s safeties WERE reaches for my kids. Why? Because his son is a 4.0 and mine are 3.3-3.5 kids. And that is ok. And yes, my kids’ safeties are other kids’ reaches. And that is OK, too. And a final rant…my kid will probably end up at one of his safeties but he thinks they are better fits for him…and I agree.
People need to stop looking to be offended all the time. Life isn’t just about you. (Phew…now I feel better!)
In my mind, the term “safety” doesn’t mean “beneath my kid” at all. It means “a school my kid would be happy going to, which is why they are applying to it” plus “a school which my kid will likely get into given their stats, geography, and other factors that the school considers” plus “we can fully afford it without any aid.”
Most high schools use the term to mean a college that was not your number one pick but a fall back college that you would be happy to attend and yes affordable. I talked to my friend that is a college counselor and she said students the last two years are not getting into their safeties like they used to. She said if you get accepted by more then a few colleges your doing really well. Her kids might be applying to more reaches due to their status as a school though.
@Knowsstuff , there may be other factors leading to safeties being harder. Here in CA, there were always a few UCs that were safeties for local kids. D’s counselor, after looking at last year’s admit stats, said “no UC is a safety anymore”. It’s partly due to increased volume of applications and partly due to the UCs being (I believe) the highest OOS admits out of all the state systems. She told us about a kid who got rejected from UCSD and admitted at Cornell…
I managed to put my foot in my mouth at a party the other night. I was talking to 2 unrelated other parents of late high school/ early college kids. One dad mentioned that his son’s top choices last year had come down to the school where he is now and UCSC (which is about 90 miles away from us). The other dad said, “there seem to be a lot of kids from our high school at UCSC… I wonder why it’s so popular?” I said, “because it’s a UC you can actually get into.” The first dad seemed insulted… like I’d taken something away from his son getting in. Oops. I just meant it’s still possible for an average-good student, unlike Berkeley and UCLA.
People seemed genuinely offended when they heard our DD didn’t apply to our old state flagship. It just wasn’t a good fit for her in many ways. In retrospect we should have taken the “don’t talk about it” approach with friends IRL.
UCSC is exactly the type of school I was talking about though. Apparently (I say apparently because I’ve only been in CA 4 years) it used to be a typical safety for average-lower B range students, and those who liked surfing. The middle 50% admitted gpa at UCSC is now 3.76-4.16. It’s not Cal, but it’s not exactly low scoring either. Seems a number of kids who some years back would have had a UCSC level college as a safety are moving on to the CSUs.
@SJ2727 according to my friend the college counselor at a ritzy high school… Yes increase of applications to all schools (kids applying to like 20 schools etc) and competing on a global stage. She is really seeing the affects of this combination. As it’s harder to get into school X those kids are now going to school Z and so on and so on.
Getting a bit off-topic… But in Illinois the new cool school is University of Alabama since they are giving away money to OOS especially in engineering… Now it’s becoming a go to school… For many this used to be someone’s safety… Funny how perspectives change but getting an education for almost free… I would take that deal… Lol
My neighbor down the road is a Stanford graduate. She said to me, “in my day, everyone from NorCal went to either Stanford or Berkeley. It’s not so easy these days.” !!! She’s in her 60s. But even my younger cousin, who graduated
Penn about ten years ago, said she wouldn’t get in there today on her stats.
Personally, I don’t think any of us would get into the schools our kids are going to… 
For a student who meets the scholarship-for-stats thresholds and will find it affordable with that scholarship, Alabama is a safety. Being a safety does not necessarily mean that it is undesirable.
I dislike that “safety” schools have such a reputation in the first place. You go to a college that is right for you - academically, socially, location etc. students achieve great things at colleges across the board. And students nosedive across the board too. The word doesn’t offend me, but I would be very careful using that word in conversation as not to offend someone else.
My s has some friends who are very condescending about certain schools because the admission rates are higher, or they accept lower test scores etc. We had a discussion about it and I told him that is what is offensive. I know many very successful people, not just financially, who are living happy lives after spending wonderful years at these “lesser” schools. There is no need to be so critical.
I told my daughter to be careful about using that word with her friends, because what she may think is a safety is someone’s reach or dream school.
Also, safety schools are very clear you will get in with certain scores and GPA and if you are NMF. That being said, we never told others where our kid got in unless asked. But all his HS kids knew somehow.
For us, it wasn’t a safety school but a merit money option school. For some reason, which I did not agree philosophically, these schools were willing to give big money because my kid was NMF. Personally, I thought that was not a good way to hand out money, but hey, wasn’t complaining.
Expectations vary widely from one excited student to another. It’s fairly early in the admissions process for most schools, so rainbows and unicorns are to be expected at this stage. Every student is different and we just want to be cautious NOT to make comparisons with other students. Some students have lower relative scores and get lucky. Others are top students that get rejected to all but “safety” schools on their list. Some are top students that choose a scholarship, because they love the school. There is nothing whatsoever to be ashamed of and neither the student or parent owes an explanation to anyone.