We had this come up on Thanksgiving. One of our friend’s kid is a freshman at Cal Poly SLO and a HS senior who is the daughter of the grandma’s caregiver says matter of factly “Oh Cal Poly, that’s my safety”. Ouch.
And then a few minutes later the freshman in college says to her mother, “she must have thought I was going to Cal Poly Pomona”.
She wasn’t thinking that…
It made for a few uncomfortable minutes but the moral of the story is, if someone says they go to X college, say something nice and encouraging and don’t be a jerk, even if it’s a “likely/safety” for you. It will be interesting to see if this HS freshman gets in to her top choice colleges (the more competitive UCs) or not?
Honestly, I don’t think NU, Michigan Ann Arbor (for most OOS applicants anyway) or UChicago is hardly anyone’s safety. And I have a high stat kid that could apply anywhere. I would definitely think someone was being obnoxious if they said that out loud in regards to my kid’s college selection. And if they used it on this board, I’d just think they were delusional unless their kid was like literally curing cancer or something along those lines. My kid actually applied to all 3 of those schools. They are all financial reaches for us too. He’s applying primarily to auditioned music programs so that’s a different game in terms of financial offers. It’s plenty easy to call a school a “safety” after you’ve been accepted.
There is a certain brand of parent out in the real world that think their kid always needs to be on top. I avoid them and just let their kid be the best. Everyone is following their own path and trying to find their own best fit vs what actually works financially. US News rankings haven’t cornered the market on the best path for individuals.
Just had to politely warn older brother (alumni interviewer at HYPS) , who was holding court re his recent set of interviews and the kids making comments about “lesser” schools, that some of those lesser schools would be joining us for Thanksgiving so let’s change the subject :-*
My D is at a school that doesn’t provide class rank because it’s seen as unfair due to it being a high performing school. It’s a public school that has 86% of graduates go into 4 year colleges, with a fair representation into top 20/30. Yet, they “only” had 8% of seniors with a 4.0 average (uw) in the last graduating class. Even weighted I find the figure of 40% hard to believe.
@MusakParent… I totally agree. She is actually a good friend. She just likes to put her kids on a pedestal. We all get her. The kids are great and basically more mature then the mother. She teaches at University of Chicago also so it is a form of pride for her. Her kids are super high achieving kids. One went to Germany his junior year for a special high school and it was taught in German and he is in China for his senior year since the local number one high school didn’t have like enough classes for him to take. The kid himself is just a great kid.
I remember one of mine (music) asking a former teacher to provide a recommendation for that teacher’s alma mater. This was a very fine program, but not a dedicated “known-name” conservatory. The teacher’s reply was “Sure! I’m glad you are considering Name-Withheld-School as a safety.” We had not even considered this school as a “safety”.
Those interested in this issue probably should start a separate thread, since it does not relate directly to the safety school question. But just a quick aside on the high school grade inflation issue some posters have been discussing here:
On the school profile that my son’s high school sent to colleges, we laughed at the grade distribution chart, which was shown for weighted averages. A weighted average of 90 was in the fifth decile. Seriously, half the class had a 90 average or better?! Talk about grade inflation!
Fortunately, charts like that help a college put a student’s achievements into context.
@SJ2727 I thought it sounded unbelievable, too, but talking to HS teachers in ordinary schools (regular comprehensive schools) they tell a similar story because they are pushed to constantly allow kids to up their grades. I have known kids who graduated with 4.0s and then could not handle one semester at college. I am curious what the percentage of kids was at my daughter’s old HS. I know it was about 2% for sophomore year but not sure if that holds on for all four years. I really like the fact that they had honest, even harsh, grading. Most of the kids were straight A students in grade school so tougher grading really let them know where their weaknesses were.
Regarding GPAs, be careful if those are weighted GPAs. Some weighting systems are quite exaggerated, so a (for example) 4.5 weighted GPA may have come from a 3.3 unweighted GPA. So maybe 40% of some high school has a 4.0 weighted GPA or higher…
Then some high schools give only weighted GPAs, and some posters have no idea how to calculate an unweighted GPA.
@CCtoAlaska “I have known kids who graduated with 4.0s and then could not handle one semester at college.” Friend of mine whose kid graduated our high school and went to Berkeley was telling her mom how her roommates were struggling with the courseload but she found it easier than high school! (I’m ambivalent about how this makes me feel because they clearly prep the kids well, but I also wonder if they really need to be under so much pressure so early).
As another poster said this is to a good extent alleviated by AOS comparing kids to their own school profile.
But part of the reason I’m just skeptical of the overall number is because if that were true, far more colleges in the top 100 or so would have average admitted GPAs very close to 4, but that generally remains the province of the most selective colleges.
In regards to the OP, I don’t think it’s rude to describe it as a safety. Everyone knows that the state school isn’t as selective as Harvard. I do think it’s rude to describe all of your kid’s high stats to people whose kids are not at as high a level. Also what’s interesting is that a safety school might be also a dream school, from a financial standpoint, if it is being paid for by scholarships and not savings.
“What are your thoughts on commenting either in a college thread or FB or especially among conversation with other parents that a college is a “safety” school?”
On CC this is fine. This appears that the kid has high stats (which they listed) and simply defined the school as a safety meaning that it wasn’t a surprise that he was accepted. But if the school “safety” was Harvard and they are waiting to hear from Yale and Princeton then you already know how CC would respond.
Friends usually know their friend’s kids. If they are happy, we’re happy! Even if they aren’t happy–we’re happy.
Every kid is different.
As for FB, I don’t talk about anything but the current weather outside my window or might comment on the cute picture of someone’s dog or cat that has been posted.
Safeties can be safeties for many different reasons. Because of legacy relationships my older DD’s dream school is now my younger DD’s safety. I agree that the term can feel derogatory but I think it’s in the mind of the listener. No one knows why a student might be extremely confident of admission.
It sounds kind of trite, but over the years I’ve learned to say something like, “Congratulations! That’s exciting.
I’ve heard really good things about that school.”
Almost every time the parents would beam with pride.
I think it’s rude to say it’s a safety in the CC thread for kids/parents for that school. Why is that relevant information to anyone on that thread? That school may be a top school for many of those kids.
I also wouldn’t speak in general discussions with most people about any particular schools being safeties. The term itself isn’t negative, but you’re basically saying your kid’s stats are better than those of that school. What purpose does this serve?
My D19 has applied EA to Parsons, for the BBA program in strategic design and management. We all (including her GC) consider it a safety for her given her scores and grades, and I’ve said so elsewhere on CC. The BBA is the most academic-focused program there (no portfolio required), and her academics are well above average for admitted students. But it’s also her top and only choice, a perfect fit for her desire to be a gallerist or curator. We’re not dismissing it as “just” a safety; we’re happy and lucky that she’s all but certain to get into the one school she’s decided she wants to attend, and that we can afford it. For public consumption, “safety” won’t come up when we talk about it.
Seems like the notion that calling a college a “safety” is insulting to students who attend to want to attend it is based on the implied assumption that a “safety” is somehow “beneath” the student who considers it as such, even if the student considers it a desirable college. Examples of the latter include @Vineyarder 's daughter as described in reply #55, or many top 6% rank students in Texas whose first choice is a Texas public university and a non-competitive major, whose families know that they can afford the college.
Indeed, the idea that a “safety” is “beneath” the student who considers it as such is common on these forums. Sometimes, naming an actual safety for a poster looking for one does not get a good reaction (often from others besides the original poster).
Whenever I talked about any of the schools my D applied to I always emphasized the main reason she chose to apply to the school and never the selectivity of the admissions. While a number of the schools weren’t highly selective it was not the primary reason she chose to apply to that school.
It’s a common term on CC and everyone knows what it means so I don’t find it offensive - an academic and financial choice that is assured. NOT so much out in the “real world” or on social where most kids don’t engage in a national search for a place to get a BA/BS. Also “safety” may not mean the college is “beneath” the student - it may be the absolutely perfect school for whatever they are going to study AND the family can afford it and the student will get accepted. That is an ideal college choice so not a negative as @Vineyarder pointed out. My oldest went to what was a safety for him but all four of his colleges were “safeties” as he had something specific in his mind and it was really just a matter of deciding after Christmas which one.
I don’t find it offensive or a negative either, I think it’s a helpful descriptor especially on this site. I have mentioned on various threads that D’19 only applied to safeties as an explanation of why so few apps and why we did not have the stress of acceptances.
In real life, I don’t use those terms, because it’s a different world from CC. Kids from our school pretty much only go to cc, local publics, or a few in-state non-selective privates. Everybody’s applying to only safeties so it’s just not an issue.