OP, my experience was close to yours.
I spent 2 years to research colleges based on the known to me D’s criteria, I did it for my personal fun and did not expect anything beyond that. When time came for D. to apply, I told her that I have a list, but she did not have to use. However, I researched every possible detail, including potential minor, which was not always available and everything was compiled into huge spreadsheet that did not fit to print on one page, I put it together by scotch tape.
D. absolutely loved my sheet and used it. She ended up attending her #2 (from my list) on full tuition Merit scholarship (which was one of the criteria) at the in-state public in extremely selective program that had only 10 spots for incoming freshman and graduated with Music minor (which was one of her goals) and had great choices of Med. Schools upon graduating from college. Speaking of which, she liked my original list so much that she asked me to compile a list of Med. Schools to apply which took me no more than 30 min. In both case I totally respected D’s criteria and in both cases, location was at the top.
This process resulted in very enjoyable stress free application cycle in both cases.
So, if you completely adhere to your kid’s criteria and compile list like this, I am sure that you will have a very positive outcome. For comparison, my D. also graduated #1 from #2 private HS in our state and had no desire to apply to any Ivy / Elite, the decision that we fully support. Kids like this end up going to some kind of Grad. School, paying for UG is basically a waste of resources in cases like this, but some families may have unlimited resources and if a kid has Harvard in her mind, why not, it was not the case with our family though.