However, it may be wise to avoid obviously unaffordable schools (try the net price calculator), in case a visited school becomes a “dream school”.
" A frugal student has many financially realistic options. "
Frugality gets old really fast. DD even told me. She wants to consider careers where she doesn’t have to worry about not having enough money.
I give her credit for being realistic at such a young age, especially when reading some of the posts from the kids here. Hard to have a dream and then get smacked w/ reality.
@laralei that depends on the person. I’ve been pretty frugal my whole life as are my parents and partner. It doesn’t bother me. Even when we’re flush with money, we rarely spend it because that’s just not our style.
But maybe I’m still a young idealist. If so, I hope I never grow up 8->
“Enough” is in the eye of the beholder. For some people, $100k is more than enough to do whatever they want to do. For others, $300k wouldn’t be nearly enough.
Some people can live on $30,000 per year without feeling deprived. Others find that $300,000 per year is not enough to sustain their spending habits.
The person who can live on $30,000 per year without feeling deprived will have far more options, since s/he will not be forced to chase the money at every turn.
@ucbalumnus Even for the same person, the definition of “sufficient” amount will change over time too. I remember when I was a graduate student, I thought my life would be a lot better if I earned 50% would be enough to living. Now I am earning multiple times of that amount, but I still think I need to earn 50% more.
Instead of taking over, how about engaging in discussions. Get her talking. Find out what she’s thinking.
OP, my experience was close to yours.
I spent 2 years to research colleges based on the known to me D’s criteria, I did it for my personal fun and did not expect anything beyond that. When time came for D. to apply, I told her that I have a list, but she did not have to use. However, I researched every possible detail, including potential minor, which was not always available and everything was compiled into huge spreadsheet that did not fit to print on one page, I put it together by scotch tape.
D. absolutely loved my sheet and used it. She ended up attending her #2 (from my list) on full tuition Merit scholarship (which was one of the criteria) at the in-state public in extremely selective program that had only 10 spots for incoming freshman and graduated with Music minor (which was one of her goals) and had great choices of Med. Schools upon graduating from college. Speaking of which, she liked my original list so much that she asked me to compile a list of Med. Schools to apply which took me no more than 30 min. In both case I totally respected D’s criteria and in both cases, location was at the top.
This process resulted in very enjoyable stress free application cycle in both cases.
So, if you completely adhere to your kid’s criteria and compile list like this, I am sure that you will have a very positive outcome. For comparison, my D. also graduated #1 from #2 private HS in our state and had no desire to apply to any Ivy / Elite, the decision that we fully support. Kids like this end up going to some kind of Grad. School, paying for UG is basically a waste of resources in cases like this, but some families may have unlimited resources and if a kid has Harvard in her mind, why not, it was not the case with our family though.
I admit that I too spend a lot of time getting information concerning college for my D2. Our D seems mostly uninterested in the subject. I have come to the conclusion it isn’t that she is uninterested, she is merely busy and focused on what she is doing now ie. classes, dance, friends, etc. We started with her sophomore year making her attend the college and career fair. All we really knew was what subjects she liked and that she didn’t want to be a doctor and we wanted to her to begin thinking about possible directions. We visited a couple of colleges during vacations the summer before her junior year. It wasn’t something she wanted to do but we were together so she didn’t really have a choice. I didn’t care whether she was interested in specific school or not, I was mainly curious to see what size and style of campus she liked (city, rural, etc.) Junior year I gave her the task of picking some in state colleges to visit and gave her the “money talk”. Late junior year we took a college spring break college tour trip (I made her set them up). By then she had started to formulate a plan of study (it changed a bit on the trip) and we had a better idea of her stats and what schools would be good for her to consider. She has been respectful although not enthusiastic. I would get the information on a variety of schools that might interest her, she would choose the ones she was willing to visit. I think when I’m not looking she has gotten on the websites herself but I haven’t actually caught her at it. Every now and then she and her friends will begin discussing colleges and the eavesdropper in me learns more from those conversation than asking her directly:).
It looks to me that the OP really wants to do is help her D and they don’t feel like she is giving them much to work with. I really think that parents can give direction and information without making the decisions. I really do think that their D will begin to come around especially as it gets closer and her friends begin to discuss their futures.
The OP seems to have left the room…completely.
Classdicrockerdad, we have a visit already set up for Bates, Bowdoin, and Tufts. UMass Amherst is no being considered because of its party school reputation. D would hate that, she is bit of a prude, lol.
There will be partiers at Bates, Bowdoin, and Tufts.
There are also non-partiers at UMass.