Hello - I am a Choate grad from around 2000 (for the sake of anonymity, won’t get more specific), and I am a parent of a 7th grade aged daughter. We live in Vermont, and she’s attended public schools all her life, where she’s been a very strong student,excelled in the arts, and is notably perceptive and mature (adults always remark that they “forget how young she is”).
We are beginning the boarding school search and application process. Honestly, I have no interest in her attending a top-tier pressure cooker like Choate, Exeter, etc. because my experience was that we were all burnt out and jaded way before our time. My kid is a perfectionist and would likely struggle when surrounded entirely by other high-achieving perfectionists. That said, we’re looking at NMH, and she is interested in applying to Choate for their arts concentration. We’re also looking at Cambridge School of Weston, Masters School, Putney, and Bard Academy.
When I read these posts from current applicants asking what their chances are, my initial thought is that they all sound highly qualified! However, I can’t help but wonder if the face of boarding school admissions might be very different than “back in my day”? While I had some aspects of strong candidacy (interviewed well, tested well, wrote effectively, had glowing recommendations, came from a performing arts program at my prior school), I was by no means a straight-A student, could not claim to know what Model UN was, much less to have participated in it, was not taking precalc as a freshman, had no volunteer activities, etc. To my recollection, most of my classmates – despite being bright, motivated, and exceptional in their own ways – were similar.
So, I’m curious: are there any folks on here who went to prep school around the same time I did and have information for me? I’d love a clearer understanding of the playing field here.
They are. Just like admissions to top colleges was different back in the day.
That said, once one moves beyond the HADES schools - and others, like choate, at that tier, the challenges for acceptance are less pronounced, but still evident. Gone are the days where good grades in MS plus good SSAT are enough. Gone are the days where your kid is assured admissions to your alma mater. That’s why many here tell applicants to cast a wide net.
Honestly, I think there are many benefits to a smart, talented kid NOT attending a high pressure cooker well known boarding school - at a hidden gem they may have more of a chance to rise to the top of their class and excel at both boarding school and in the college admission process - this has been our experience.
I am a mid-90s grad of an ISL school (though I was a day student) and I do think that everything is a bit more competitive now.
That being said, there is a school out there for everyone. My son is a very happy sophomore at a “hidden gem” and my daughter is applying there for next year, as well as to some HADES/GLADCHEMMS schools. I think most schools are looking for students who are genuine, curious and self-motivated (ie not being pushed by parents to do a million extracurriculars just for the sake of getting in to a tough school). They also want students who are kind, and independent enough to live on their own.
It’s good that you are starting your search early – I recommend visiting as many schools as you can in person while school is in session to really get a feel for the students and vibe of the campus. My son chose his current school because, to quote him, “the vibes are chill.” We crossed some schools off our lists after visiting, and others pleasantly surprised us and rose higher on our list of favorites.
I grew up in a boarding school family, I agree that the current sea of competition and expectation is mind boggling. While kids were clearly bright across the schools, the expectation was not always to have left their childhood to prove their value.
With a child at a high ranking, pressure school, I agree that it is worth considering being the shiny penny in a less intense environment.
Acceptance rates for first-tier schools have dropped to low to mid teens, and Choate is definitely one of them. Also bear in mind that these rates include recruited athletes and strong legacies. Essentially, you are looking at single digits. That is your playing field.
NMH does have a nice vibe around campus and students have generally been happy. Bard Academy offers special access to many great colleges, including its affiliate at Simon’s Rock, so it’s a great choice also.
As others would tell you –– start your research early, and cast a wide net. Good luck!
My niece and her cousin went to Exeter in the 90s. While my niece was always a good student, she was no music genius (B+ in band), average athlete, etc.
One of the big differences between now and the past is that the kids that are applying today seem to apply to way more schools than we did. I’m pretty sure that my niece applied to only Exeter.
My daughter is a recent graduate of one of the Hidden Gems you mentioned. Like your kid, she’s a bit of a perfectionist. I have at times wondered whether it would have been better to leave her in public school (where she would have shined, but become an expert at gaming APs), or whether I should have insisted that she apply to at least a couple of pressure cooker schools. However, she’s the type of kid who, even in the absence of A+s grades being possible, still strived to maintain above a 97% average. She still felt a bit burnt out by the end, so it was perhaps the right call.
OP, I think this is a big part of it. There aren’t necessarily a ton more applicants to BS, but each submits maybe 2-3 times more applications than they might have a few decades ago. The same has happened at the college level. And at both levels, there is flocking to the most selective schools. This has made the most well-known schools more competitive while simply getting into a good school may not be.
There are also a number of things that have helped that have resulted in kids being more specialized and having more recognition at a younger age. Youth sports are year-round and more competitive, schools (especially expensive privates) need to offer more, etc. With that said, there is self-selection here, so you may be seeing a particularly accomplished group here (and perhaps some puffery.)
I am guessing that your cohort at CRH had made the most of what was available to them just as kids today are doing with access to different resources. I am older than you and feel like my cohort was very hum-drum compared to these kids, at least on paper, yet many have done incredible things and lived up to whatever promise someone saw in them as the cream of an average crop.
It sounds like you are being very thoughtful about your D’s list AND that you understand well how fabulous or toxic any given school/student mix can be.
If you are willing to go just a bit further geographically than Masters, I will make a plug for George School. Same schedule as CSW, very strong arts, and very nurturing, kind community. It seems culturally aligned with your list.
FWIW, my child’s transcript comes from a school/country that does NOT believe in grade inflation. It shows, despite his excellent teacher recs. His favorite sport is one he started in 7th and no one is good enough to be “recruited” for 9th. But he reached out to coaches and they were all polite and met him when we visited. He is tall, which helps, but that can hardly be considered an accomplishment. His ECs are things he loves and super fun but not academic. He is currently in a non-academic outdoor ed semester. We did not know that he was going to be apply to boarding schools until recently. So we just let him be a kid. And I’m grateful for that. I said as much to each AO.
Let’s just say… he comes across as very authentic. That’s pretty much the only strategy at this point. We will soon find out if is “enough” in 2025. If it isn’t? His day school will be just fine.
He is applying to two acronym schools and two not-as-hidden-as-people-pretend-them-to-be gems. I’ve learned so much from this CC community. But I found it at the right time. Or I would have been neurotic if I had read all of those “chance mes” when he was 10 years old.
@VT_Arts_Mama I would like to learn a little more about the burnout you experienced. I would have thought that after the first half of senior year, the kids can let their hair down a little and get a few months to relax with their friends(while maintaining reasonable grades)? Where we live, there is a huge amount of stress placed on a series of exams the last few weeks of senior year. They determine your college track. Very high stakes. I was hoping to avoid that. Your comment makes me think they don’t get some down time at the end in boarding schools?
I will second this comment, speaking from the perspective of parent to two kids who graduated from the hidden gem boarding school where I work (and who now attend their perfect fit colleges).
There is tremendous benefit to being “true to your best self” (to borrow my school’s motto) in an environment where you can take advantage of ample opportunity, explore and grow, deepen your talents, but not feel hemmed in by pressure/burn out.
My school is not on your list, but I wonder if others of a similar size might be worth exploring as a point of comparison? Dublin School can be a nice fit for an artsy, smart student who wants to have close relationships with supportive faculty. If your daughter is open to girls’ schools Emma Willard is likely not too far from your home base and offers fantastic programs in academics and arts. Holderness School might be another to check out.
I went to one of the tippy top schools in the 90s. I was a good student with strong ECs but I don’t think I’d have a snowball’s chance in h*ll if I were to apply to that school now. I loved my BS experience (the opportunities, challenges, and independence) and encouraged both of my kids to consider going. We took different approaches and had different outcomes (both ok!) with each kid and I think their experience illustrates the current “playing field” and how best to approach it.
My DS, now a HS senior, was an excellent student with awards and great ECs who I thought would have been a great candidate for BS. He wasn’t fully invested in the BS idea tho, only applied to one school (my highly rejective alma mater), and was waitlisted. He stayed public, enjoyed his education, and has no regrets. My DD, now a freshman, was excited about BS and very invested in making it happen. She is a good student (not an award winner/overachiever) and has ECs that she is passionate about. She researched a lot of schools, visited/applied to the ones she thought would be a good fit for her, had choices on M10 and is extremely happy where she landed. She did not apply to my alma mater or any of the other “pressure cookers”.
When I look at the chance me threads, I feel that they are largely written by a subset of kids striving for the GLADCHEMMS. There are lots of other kids applying to BS who don’t have those credentials, aren’t on the chance me threads, but are nevertheless mature, motivated and have something to offer a BS community.
I echo the sentiment of others: there are so many great schools offering all kinds of opportunities so if your kid wants to go to BS and you focus on fit and cast a wide net, there will be some great options for her.
Good luck with the process! It sounds like you have already found some great fit schools for your DD, and that’s the best approach to take, IMO.
Some really great comments on this thread. I’ll just add that you shouldn’t necessarily assume that your child won’t get into a top school. The “chance me” people on this site are insanely qualified, and it can feel like your kid won’t match up to them. Just don’t pay too much attention to those comparisons.
I have a child who is a freshman at a GLADCHEMMS. He’s not a great athlete, OK at music, has some other non-competitive ECs. His SSAT scores were pretty good (mid-90s) and his grades were good, although he got a B in a key subject. What I found interesting was how much the interview matters. He’s not an extrovert and doesn’t easily connect with people, but two interviewers knew how to get him talking and learned how hugely curious he is. The other 4 interviews were duds. He got into those two schools, waitlisted or rejected from the duds. The only difference in the applications was the interviews. So if you cast a wide net, your child may get lucky and really connect with their interviewer. That can be just a matter of luck.
I think it’s also worth noting that most, if not all, boarding schools are looking for nice kids. They will be spending a lot of time with each other and the faculty/staff. It’s a difficult situation when someone isn’t a very good citizen in the dorm, in class, on the field, as part of the orchestra, etc.
This is a great point. As an admissions person one of my top criteria is kindness. Most applicants have strong transcripts and some activities; not every applicant can demonstrate they are kind. Adolescents are not always nice, and that’s developmentally appropriate–but to be successful in a boarding community they have to be kind.
Yes, Dublin is a hidden Gem. It is super small (~170 kids total) but that makes for a very tight community. It’s a really special place. It also is a great place to learn to ski or row. I highly recommend looking at it, especially if your kid likes to be outdoors.
I played against Choate in sports, and am close enough in age we might have overlapped.
It is more competitive now. Expectations of ECs, in particular, are higher. There are also way more athletic recruits across all sports and more sports compete at a high level. When I went, sure hockey, lacrosse, sent kids to top programs but other sports, not so much beyond D3. We had recruits for hockey and a few other things, but not for everything. Athletes seem to take up a lot more slots, now. (Not to say they aren’t smart, but still need to fill those teams so all things being equal an advantage!)
There are also more kids doing way more math or science, younger. I don’t think we had more than 1-2 kids in my 4 years that went beyond BC Calc, and only a few did even BC as seniors. My kid goes to a top day school, and number of their classmates did BC calc in middle school, plenty were in Pre-Cal in 9th. My own HS is like this now too.
That said, other kids w/o incredible “wow” factors DO get in. One my kids classmates went to another school like Choate, and she was just interesting (and had good scores).
CSW and Putney are not in same league (in terms of competition) as Choate, for instance. They definitely turn down plenty of kids but pay a lot of attention to fit, IMO.