Any advice for out of state BS applicants (Choate, Loomis, Kent)?

Prep School Admissions
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Hello all,
Long time lurker, first-time poster so I apologize in advance for the length of my post.

We are a Southwest family from an underrepresented (but not unheard of in BS circles) state that are applying to BS for the first time (From DFW, TX). We are currently in a top private day school in our area which doesn’t mean much except to say we’ll be alright if these don’t work out.

We settled on boarding schools because there aren’t better local options than what she already has and the Northeast schools are light years better than anything we can find locally anyway.

Problem is, the competitiveness. We went through what we thought was competitive pre-school admission to get to where we are (which sounds ridiculous now) but this is a whole new ball game. Because of our location we cannot visit multiple campuses and have narrowed down our list to a very short 3 schools.

Loomis Chaffee first choice, Choate 2nd/Reach choice and Kent, third choice.

We also considered St Andrews in DE and are still a bit back and forth on that one. Non-stop Flights to DE from our location aren’t plentiful it will make for some logistical challenges. We liked Lawrenceville in theory but not in practice (explanation to come) and considered but eliminated Deerfield, which is the BS most people from my area seem to patronize, because my daughter did not like “the vibe”.

Some facts about us (well, her):

  • A student athlete, plays several sports, Field Hockey, Swimming, Basketball and Rowing ( known as Crew in those parts).
  • Also a theatre kid but more technical theatre less front of house.
  • Definitely a Student leader type. Older for class (a full year older) due to some private school shenanigans in my area (they routinely redshirt preschoolers around here- long story).
  • AVERAGE STUDENT. By average I mean she is not shattering any academic records and will not in the future. She is average for an academically challenging private college prep school.(Her school routinely gives ERB tests yearly which informs this opinion). B average student in letter grades at her school (gets mostly A, gets Cs in Spanish for some reason). If she went to public school, she’d probably be an A or A- student who gets some As and some Bs)
  • Personality: Charismatic. Well spoken. Mature for age. Natural politician or maybe Talk Show host. Majority of her teachers and coaches really like her as a person even those don’t love her as a student (see Spanish) as do most of her peers.

So far we have interviewed for Choate and Loomis, and attended a Ten Schools conference. As a kid with the gift of garb, she aced these in-person interactions. She’s also good with her pen so I think her essays will be fine. But I’m a bit worried about her chances academically. She’s no charity case, but all the applicants to these schools seem to be Merit Scholar types with extensive extracurricular and other achievements.

I have the following questions:

  • Frankly, are we wasting our time? I like our school. We’d like to upgrade and I sincerely believe that the focus one can find in Boarding school would benefit her, but the effort seems a bit futile at this point. I’d like to have realistic advice on whether a bright student with non-academic pluses should even be trying for the schools we have so far. Are there better options we should consider?

  • My child runs the risk of knowing literally no-one at school when she gets there and for a while after. While I’m sure the international students’ isolation gets catered to, what is the experience for way out of state students at the schools I listed (maybe less of an issue at say Choate, vs Kent)?

  • The Choate interview went very well, my daughter had a great rapport with the interviewer. But I don’t love the pressure cooker environment of the school. I have mentally removed it from the running even though we are going through the whole process now as we are too far in. My daughter loves the competitive level of their sports and their theater offerings and that is the main pull. But I don’t like the cutthroat academics for her. This is also the reason why we removed Lawrenceville from our list even though we really loved everything else about it.

  • Loomis is my daughter’s first choice. So far she loves everything about it. It seems to offer the best balance of everything she would like in her high school experience for sports, challenging but not high pressure academics, with robust writing and theatre departments. But the question of her fitting in is a bit of a worry for me. It seems to a be a popular school with the locals, I’d like to know how (far) out of state students fare there.

  • We had no idea Kent was a Loomis rival when we applied :slight_smile: . We like the slightly more buttoned up feel of Kent and, like Loomis, it seems more balanced as far as demands on the kids. It also has one of the best Crew teams anywhere which very much interests my daughter. I don’t love the reputation that it seems to have around mental/drug issues… though I’m not sure any school lacks a history with those (Choate, I’m looking at you). Overall it seems like a good balanced, albeit more buttoned up than she’s used to option.

Are there any other schools we should consider/add to the list instead that have comparative sports/theatre offerings without the academic pressure cooker environment? Can anyone share what its like to be a student from a state not heavily represented at these schools? How much of an issue is it for such students to integrate?

Important Note: Given that these schools cost double what we pay now and we have other kids in tuition charging schools, we do plan to apply for financial aid wherever we land.

Thanks in advance for your insights!

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Loomis students come from across the country. The school’s two-decade long march toward greater selectivity has been achieved through a cap on the day student population at 30% of total enrollment and a capital improvements plan focused on dorm construction. Students come from around the country — California and Texas are both strongly represented. There’s also a decent representation of international students. (There are something like 48 countries represented there.) It’s a strong community with no regional insider/outsider dynamics.

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Thank you for your insight. I was concerned that it would be a locally saturated school with exactly the insider/outsider dynamic you describe. Glad to know that isn’t the case.

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From where have you gotten the idea that Choate is “cutthroat?” Our son (from AZ) did not find that to be the case at all, nor did he consider Choate to be a pressure cooker. What he DID find is that Choate is one of those schools that teaches its students how to swim rather than sink, how to advocate for themselves, and how to take advantage of all the available resources to ensure success. He also found his peers to be kind and collaborative.

OTOH, he rowed all four years, and the discipline required to balance academics and crew was exhausting. Crew does not have an off season. If your D plans to row at (any) BS, it’s a relentless sport that requires a high degree of personal discipline and time management skills. If she struggles at all academically, crew is not a compatible option.

Our son graduated from Choate in '15, so our experience is not current, but I don’t believe the overall ethos of the school has changed. Feel free to PM me as I don’t frequent this forum like I used to.

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If you are set on your child going to boarding school I’d apply to more than 3.

My DD who has all As in public school, excellent teacher recs, and extracurricular activities is applying to way more than 3. Check out the 2024 decisions thread or stats threads for helpful information.

We hated the vibe at Lawrenceville and swiftly took it off our list after tour and interview.

Look for geographic diversity like Indian Springs or boarding schools in the Midwest. Search Niche.

Goodluck!

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Thank you, will do. My daughter really wants the boarding school experience for high school so we may look at our original long list and try for schools in other areas. There were a couple in IL and PA that may deserve another look.

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From this forum, other forums, student comments, social media… my daughter has been soliciting opinions from peers on Social media about their schools and that was a complaint among a couple of Choaties (academics being heavy/competitive/cutthroat). She definitely wants to row, so balancing that and academics will be a big consideration for her. She rows with a club now and doing that in our area is a huge time management challenge (lots of commuting). She is hoping that having a way to do it at school will make that easier. Maybe it wont? It’s something to think about. Her back-ups if Crew is not an option are Field Hockey or Swimming so its great that Choate has good teams for all three.

Thanks for your insight. I’ll DM with other questions

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Choate does not have a boathouse. The rowers are bussed to a nearby lake, so transpo time would still be an issue.

If she really wants to row, I would choose Kent which has a very good program and a boathouse on the Housatonic River.

OTOH, choosing among crew programs is second to being admitted. I concur with @RB2010 that it is wise to apply to more than three schools.

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I second the suggestion of Indian Springs. In my opinion it’s really underrated.
This school is known for being very collaborative rather than competitive and is NOT clique-y at all. A huge emphasis is placed on student leaders taking an active role to run the school. Their theater program is also a standout. You can check out their theater Instagram – the shows are pretty cool! Spring’s domestic students are pretty diverse geographically (My daughter knows a few students also from TX, and they’re thriving!)

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Re: Kent’s reputation, it may have correlated with the previous Head of School, who had been there a very long time. During his tenure the BS landscape changed dramatically wrt disciplinary issues, and perhaps he didn’t change as fast. Perhaps someone with direct experience with Kent could chime in.

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The balance is actually quite good. There are enough local parents to support an active parents’ association that hosts activities throughout the year, throw team dinners, and provide options for students to go off campus (with permission) for dinners or sleepovers. They are also able to organize food tables at the big meets and games. In the winter, the parents’ association sponsors a week of special treats leading up to a winter dance. But the local presence isn’t strong enough to make the campus hollow out on weekends. In fact, it’s the opposite: the day students tend to be on campus late and on weekends for practices, study hall, and the very strong campus activities program, which helps erase the day/border distinction.

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Interesting. Hopefully that has improved somewhat with the new head of School. I’ll do some deep dive into their handbook, if that’s available online to see how they handle these matters today.

@Metawampe that’s great to know. The community is one of the things that stood out to us about Loomis. Its great to know how that works between the boarding and local families/students.

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Thanks for the suggestion, I’ll check it out.

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I am pretty sure Loomis does not have a competitive crew team. I think may they offer it as an extracurricular option in the spring if there is enough interest, but it is through a local community organization not coached by anyone affiliated with the school. I was just there for an open house and they do not have a boat house. So it would involve commuting time and perhaps an extra cost since it is outside of the school.
I was also just at Kent, and they for sure have an amazing crew situation with year round training, a river literally running through campus, top notch new boathouse and equipment, etc.

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This is true.

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Wanted to add that there are plenty of nonstop flights between Dallas and Philly for St. Andrew’s.

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I have two thoughts for you. I agree that she should apply to more schools. Peddie has all the sports she wants to play, has a great theatre program (with some extra perks), is challenging but not a pressure cooker or “cutthroat”, and is close to Newark Airport. My DD is a freshman there so we are still getting to know it, but it has so far met or exceeded our hopes and expectations for her and she is very happy. Her roommate is from California and she has a number of international friends, so kids come from all over. The theater perks include a freshman only musical (great for making friends and getting involved even if your DD doesn’t want to be a performer) and trips into NYC to see broadway shows.
Blair is another school worth checking out that doesn’t get much mention on this site but would meet all your DD’s criteria. Only issue would be that it isn’t super close to any airports - but they would arrange shuttles, I’m sure. Blair was the school my DD struggled to have to say “no” to.
My second thought is that your DD has a great niche with her interest/skills in tech theatre and she should be very vocal about it. I imagine that students who want to do tech aren’t common so she has a unique contribution to offer the school community. Ask the AOs to put her in touch with the Theatre Dept head and then schedule a zoom session so your DD can talk about her interest and find out what opportunities the school would have for her (if she hasn’t already). This worked for my daughter (not tech theatre, but same idea) and I think it had a lot to do with her acceptances (she was a good student at an “ok” public school, but not an overachiever by any stretch).
Best of Luck!

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Kent sounds like a very good option for you. In so many ways, George ¶ would fit – she’d have her sports and theater and would be able to find her fit academically - but you might be looking for a more “buttoned up”, as you describe it.

Check out Mercersberg, Peddie, and Hill as well.

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Oh, that is good to know.
The couple of people she spoke to advised her that they do have Crew in the spring, maybe we should have asked more questions. We assumed it was through the school. We plan to visit the schools in December so this is good information to keep in mind during visits.

You all have convinced us to go ahead and add St Andrews DE back to the list. Part of their appeal, was their Crew program as well so, we will go ahead and stop waffling on that option.

Any opinions on Hill School or Mercersburg? I understand the latter does not have Crew but in the interest of expanding our list, any insights on how these schools compare to or are unique from Loomis/Choate and Kent (and St. Andrews)?

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Can’t speak to those schools, but if you’re willing to consider schools without crew, the hidden gem I always recommend is The Millbrook School. No crew, but it is the only high school in the country with an accredited zoo that is integrated into the school. For some kids that can be life changing.