<p>I’m a senior, and my school’s senior prom was a couple of days ago. From the start, I wasn’t really interested in it, so I ended up not going. I still don’t care about it (although I have a tiny hint of regret that I didn’t spend the night with my friends during the supposedly milestone event in my life), but my mom is still being really annoying about it. </p>
<p>When I first told my mom that I won’t be going to prom, she thought I was insane. Now that it’s over, she keeps bothering me about it. Just a few minutes ago, she told me, “When I told my friends that you didn’t go to prom, they were really surprised and thought you were weird!” I have really thick skin so I don’t care about what people think of me, but I got the impression that my mom probably thought the same about me. She also started lamenting that I’m probably a social outcast in school and that I’ll never be able to find a girlfriend just because I didn’t go to prom. Overall, I totally understand why my mom’s going crazy about prom; she’s an immigrant and her perceptions regarding prom are probably heavily influenced by movies and the media so I don’t really blame her for thinking that way. </p>
<p>Still though, I’m curious as to what you parents think about prom. Did you go to prom? Do you think it’s a really important life event that one shouldn’t miss or is it not that big of a deal? For those who went to prom: Do you still remember it and is it still an important memory for you? For those who didn’t go to prom: Do you regret not going?</p>
<p>I’m 23. I didn’t go to prom junior or senior year. It is an expensive night that has been placed way too high onto a list of priorities it seems…</p>
<p>I didn’t go to prom, I’m 54.
Still managed to get married ( at 23) and have kids ( at 24 & 32) and still married 31 years later.
Don’t miss it. Didn’t miss it then either. Btw I am female. :)</p>
<p>My H did go to prom with his then girlfriend however.
I have gotten many a giggle from looking at their photo with her pale yellow corsage & his matching tuxedo!</p>
<p>Didn’t go to one. Wife didn’t go to one. Older d. didn’t go to one. Younger one went with one guy and another girl. No big deal. I doubt she remembers it, though she is still friends with the girl (the guy was from Belgium - an exchange student - who really needed to see Amerikan cultcha.)</p>
<p>Prom importance is regional and school by school. D attends the same HS that I attended and it was and is a seniors only right of passage. One does not need a date to go and there is no junior prom. It is seen as part of the graduation thing, so not going would be like not walking at graduation. It can be but is not seen as needing to be an expensive night. Our school doesn’t go overboard with limos etc. I’m not sure, but I think D is going with a group of friends - she has a dress (sale rack) but hasn’t articulated other plans yet. She has never attended any other school dances which leads me to believe that my above assessment is correct - it’s just a senior event among others.</p>
<p>Other schools do it very differently, though. Don’t worry about what mom thinks - if possible - you’ve charted your own course and it just didn’t happen to include that thing.</p>
<p>DD goes to a residential high school and Prom is a Big Deal Indeed; virtually all the seniors go. DD was greatly envied when as a sophomore she got invited by a senior. They do dinner and dancing at Navy Pier on the Chicago lakefront, then top it off with a midnight cruise on Lake Michigan.</p>
<p>But personally, I don’t see why it’s such a big deal most places. At our local high school, it’s done in the gym. Probably half the seniors (10-15 kids) are all that go.</p>
<p>One of many decisions to be true to yourself. Prom is only important if it is important to you. I didnt got to prom, no regrets. H did said it was no big deal. My d1 went to 2 enjoyed it. Was it the highlight of her HS experience no. D2 is going next week, she is excited, but that is her.
Perhaps your mom is worried about how you will do when you leave home. socially. Seems to me she shouldnt worry, you seem ahead of the game.</p>
<p>Where I am from, prom is second only to a girl’s wedding in splendor. It was that way when my mom went to prom in 1949, when I went in 1988 and when my goddaughters went this year. It seems a little ridiculous, but I wouldn’t have missed it for the world. I still remember what I wore, who sate at my table, the theme song, etc. I also remember the silly drama that resulted with various dates. It was a big night-two guys came out, a girl showed up in a dress that proved she was pregnant and another couple had gotten married that morning. Big night, but there are other ways to make the senior year memories. </p>
<p>At my DS school, it really isn’t that big a deal, but it was a chance to go dance and have a good time with classmates that you will rarely see after graduation. It is also nice to get dressed up. He was the first one on the dance floor and the last to leave. </p>
<p>My DH didn’t go to prom, and he doesn’t regret it. Not a single person in his crowd would have considered it.</p>
<p>I had no intention of going to prom even though I had a boyfriend; my friends guilted me into going about a week before. I had a miserable time; it was so not my thing, I sat with bf’s group and was the only one who hadn’t dropped mescaline on the way there so their amusement was not shared with me. We broke up within a week </p>
<p>D1 went with friends, had an fine time but it wasn’t the OMG experience that some people try to make it. D2 has serious doubts about going. I would never pressure her to go. Missing it shouldn’t be a life regret. It’s just a school dance.</p>
<p>My girlfriend at the time wanted me to pay for everything and she also wanted a limo, etc. That relationship started a week or two before we had to start buying things for prom and was over long before prom actually occurred… She didn’t like hearing “no.” </p>
<p>I did go to the post-prom events each year. Those were fun and you could show up wearing workout clothes ;)</p>
<p>How big of a deal is, is only in the minds of the people attending and unfortunately, their mothers who are living vicariously through their kids on this.</p>
<p>IMO it’s not a big deal at all since you didn’t care to attend. Your mother is completely out of line in giving you a hard time about this. I can’t imagine a parent being mad at their kid for not attending something like a dance! Her statements are completely untrue - attending the prom has nothing at all to do with ‘finding a girlfriend’ - it’s not as if that’s why people attend the prom.</p>
<p>To answer your questions - I didn’t go to the prom because I didn’t think it was a big deal then (and still don’t) and really don’t like dances or dancing for that matter, it’s insignificant as a life event (a non-event for me), and had no adverse effect in the GF department.</p>
<p>I didn’t go to my own HS prom, though I went to one at another school as a favor to a friend and it was pretty boring. My own DD thought about going to hers with some female friends, but decided it was too expensive and hasn’t regretted it. Doubt DS will go when it’s his turn next year.</p>
<p>I think that your mom might be having some separation anxiety issues and projecting them onto you in the guise of missing prom as being an earth shattering event.
As an immigrant, she might also have an idealized idea of what an American kids life is like, and gets anxious if you don’t adhere to that script.
So go easy on her, she just wants the best for you.</p>
<p>I’ve had a full and complete life without ever going to a prom. I don’t remember even considering going. My son didn’t go to his. My daughter did but only because she wanted to dress up.</p>
<p>Prom and/or graduation balls are nice memories to haveyou dress up and you can just go with a friend and try to have fun. I wouldnt harp on my kids though to go and continue talking about it after the event. That being said social functions will soon be company parties and fundraising events that sometimes you dont feel like going but it helps if you show your face and mingle.</p>
<p>I didn’t go to prom and I don’t think I’d ever regretted not going. My kids have several male friends that skip prom altogether. For my daughters, it’s a chance for them to play dress up.</p>
That must be playing into this. To pacify her somewhat - prom isn’t usually a big deal for the guys - it’s for the girls. Moreover - guys don’t go the the prom to find a GF - they invite an already-existing GF to the prom or just go with friends (both genders) for the fun of it. She shouldn’t be making a big deal out of this especially now that it’s passed. </p>
<p>Again - prom is not a big deal. Some people like it, some don’t, it costs a lot of money which excludes some people unfortunately, and it seems to be a bigger deal to the vicariously-living mothers as much as anything (who sometimes work to ratchet-up the proms making it ever more fancy and expensive - unnecessarily so).</p>
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