Is this a good statement of purpose?

<p>I am applying to SCAD Graduate of Sound Design for this fall: would really appreciate if I get a few critiques on paragraph, sentence structure and overall connectivity to my program of interest, this is just a draft thank you.!!</p>


<p>Being that I am homosexual and working to overcome a serious illness like Chrons disease doesn’t exactly fit the role of an aspiring sound designer.
I was given a Windows XP laptop computer when I was 15 years old, and since then, the sun never shined on my skin the same way for years. I started to fool around with the free programs like Windows Movie Maker and Audacity. I created fan made videos and paired them with my favorite songs and then uploaded them on YouTube or my own personal websites to attract other fans. This was fun, but I wanted to do more with my time. My dad used to refer to me as a nerd, even though he was a maintenance technician for IBM at the time. Still, I would enjoy watching my favorite cartoons and attentively listen for the score music that was used in some of these shows. I wanted to have that job, but I didn’t know how to look for it or explain it to others.
As i searched heavily on the web for programs that would help advance me into this career in mind, I discovered the beautiful sound of trance music. This sound I’m referring to is a progression of complex melodies and drum loops that emulate a type of ecstasy induced state or fantasy that keeps you coming back for more. I was hooked, and I didn’t care to show it off to my friends who were so pleased with their rap and hip-hop music. I was, however, the odd ball in an old Mercedes Benz with the windows rolled down jerking my head around to this Godsend genre of music.
Upon getting into college, I started projecting myself outside of the shell that had me hardened for years. I wanted to start a new chapter in my life. I realized I was not heterosexual, and a little shy, but managed to make friends anyway. I chose to major in Communication and the confidence I needed, came to me in a heartbeat. I taught myself how to DJ using online software programs and played my favorite trance music at social gatherings. I never felt more awake and live in my life. After the fun began to wear off and the stress of balancing relationships and school started to wear on me, heavy rain clouds formed over my head. I think I may stressed myself out to the max, because my immune system started to fail on me and I noticed my digestive system was showing signs of anything but normal What seemed to be happening slowly over time soon hit my stomach like a ton of bricks. The pain started to tear me down and I was losing weight and getting sicker. I saw a medical doctor who performed a procedure on me to take a look at my insides. He diagnosed me with a severe form of Chrons disease and gave me a lot of medication. He told me there was no cure for my illness and that I would likely be on medication for the rest of my life. My world stopped, and I desperately didn’t want to believe I was going to be in this position forever. I felt like a failure, even without committing an act that could cause such a defeated view on life. I spent a lot of time hibernating in my bedroom. It wasn’t long before i flipped open my new MacBook and started researching alternative methods of treatment. I began to try a lot of different dietary methods and made serious lifestyle changes that have since, proved me well. I was able to revive myself from all of the pain and suffering and became stronger and more appreciative of my life as a result. I continued on with my passion for music. I became interested in my elective courses, Video Production and Music Technology, and got involved with my campus radio station and started to help rebuild its reputation. Within the station I started DJing trance music on my own weekly radio show. When I look back on the times I felt insecure about my sexuality, my struggle with Chrons disease, to transitioning my passion for music into a career, I realize all of the pain combined begs me to fulfill the most positive goals I want to accomplish with a career in sound design.</p>