<p>@lerkin wow! That was so rude! I would have ask for my gift back, lol.</p>
<p>For D & her friends, there is a family that does the lion’s share of entertaining, so especially when D goes there, we always try to remind her to bring something to contribute to the event and she often (but not always) does. She admits that many of the others don’t bring anything, but we want her to get in the habit of contributing when she is benefitting so she’s not seen as a “mooch.”</p>
<p>That said, when she’s invited to a party, unless it’s explicitly shared checks, she does not offer and is not expected to pay. She has been to some very nice outings, including a sleepover at a beach house, sleepover at a hotel (with hostess’ parents in the nearby room), sleepover + headshots photo, dinner at nice restaurant for party, ski trip, and other events. She does bring a gift if it’s a birthday party. I believe she wrote a note for the ski trip (they covered her plane both from and returning to campus, as well as loaned her ski clothing & covered all expenses).</p>
<p>I don’t know what goes on in some people’s heads? Entitlement? Ignorance? Denial? Clueless? Can’t do the math? What the heck? </p>
<p>Are people so desperate to have pricey/expensive parties that it encourages them to think that “forced sharing” of the costs is ok? </p>
<p>I’m sure many of us could tell stories that either involved us or family members when dining out with others and when the check came, the “big eaters, big drinkers” quickly suggest “splitting the bill” when they have to realize that their true share of the bill is probably 75% or more. Do these people really think that others won’t mind funding their excesses? </p>
<p>I know that some people assume that others have more money and won’t “mind” paying for stuff, but this weird behavior suggests (to me) something deeper or darker. </p>
<p>lol…just remembered my Aunt’s story about her wedding (she was marrying my dad’s brother). Her dad had insisted on having a “money dance” which my aunt did NOT want to do. It was actually kind of a tradition in her Chicago suburb so she relented, even tho she knew that my uncle’s side of the family did not do those things. Well, after the “money dance,” her dad came up to her and took the little white purse that contained the dollar bills! He said he was going to use the money to pay for the wedding (which was not a pricey affair at all!) Ugh!</p>
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<p>I have to admit, the thought crossed my mind. My son was incredulous at the entire situation. He was lucky that I stayed at the place because I met someone I knew and we were chatting for a while. I was not far away and I saw when my son was approached by the employee of the establishment regarding his admission. The birthday boy just left him there. My son then called out the birthday boy and the birthday boy just ignored my son’s question. </p>
<p>It was a lesson learned. At the very least my son knows what NOT to do to his guests. </p>
<p>I am glad my son stayed and was able to figure out how to enjoy himself. It probably would have been embarrassing for him to leave.</p>
<p>Lerkin,</p>
<p>I wonder if the Bday boy was telling his friends that costs were covered, but the parents hadn’t told the Bday that the costs weren’t. </p>
<p>either way…horrible!</p>
<p>And the pre-party! Reminds me of a wedding where some of the guests were only invited to the cake and punch reception, and the rest were invited to the pricey dinner reception later. Did the B&G really think the guests wouldn’t find out?</p>
<p>Or worst yet the guests that insist on bringing other guests as if wedding receptions were free affairs.</p>
<p>Mom2ck,</p>
<p>You are probably right. I still think parents are as guilty as the child: they raised him that way. The boy was 15, he should have known better.</p>
<p>And yes, I personally was invited to a wedding ceremony and a dance reception complete with a cash bar and dollar dance after dinner. Only fraction of the guests was invited to dinner. I found out before the wedding and found excuse not to attend.</p>
<p>What I found interesting that if asked about presents, the bride requested cash… Because the wedding is such an expensive endevoure. Hmmm… I didn’t get her anything, not even a card. The bride was so dense, she didn’t think anything of me finding better things to do than attending her wedding and continued being supper friendly with me (that’s how I know about dollar dance and cash bar).</p>
<p>When we have hosted parties anywhere there is any cost, we have always paid everything. It would indeed have been awkward if you had left and your child had no money. </p>
<p>Reminds me of when we were expected to host an event for our 2nd cousin and all the dinner conversation was about her upcoming wedding. Dad was her granny’s only living sib. Dad said over the course of the dinner at dad’s home that he and mom could fly over to the wedding. The bride and her mom goggled at my folks and told them that they were NOT invited nor were any other family members. They still sent each of wedding Invitations and announcements. We were shocked. They came over shortly after their wedding and expected our family to host again which dad did, to his credit.</p>