My niece was married last summer near her mother’s house, so it was an out of town wedding for all of us, including the niece and her husband. They sent ‘thank you for coming’ notes, very general, but we got a collage of pictures of the wedding with pictures of them, my family, my sister, my bother, etc. We didn’t receive a thank you for the specific gift, and I was fine with it except that we wanted to know that she actually received the items from BB&B. She moved just after the wedding, her husband is Canadian and is having trouble getting citizenship, so he’s at his mother’s. My sister made sure niece had received everything.
I think going to a wedding across the country and sending a gift still deserves an individual thank you and would make sure my kids sent them.
Recent wedding of co-worker we received a thank you gift (bottle opener) at check in after our photo was taken. Bride and groom came to each table said thanks and handed out the photos. I’m not sure but since we didn’t receive another thank you, I guess this was the thank you. I did get verbal thank you when I gave groom the card with cash. Wonder if was culturally, been to one other same culture, check/cash was collected but no one received thank you card–the collection had been stolen after given to couple but before reception over. Maybe couple didn’t know what to say. Oh well hope it’s not the custom. I do recall not sending thank you note to one of husband’s cousins in Vermont- maybe I lost address and ?? I did make sure I sent very nice gift when her son married 20+ years later - and received nice thank you
I don’t think there’s a standard lag time between weddings and when thank you cards should go out. They should be sent as soon as possible, especially if the couple intends to have children right away. What you want to avoid is sending a birth announcement on the heels of a (months’ delayed) thank you card for a wedding gift.
It sometimes takes time to get the thank you’s out, but I can think of only one friend’s daughter who never sent thank yous for a wedding gift., ANd even her mom was mortified.
DS and fiancee were diligent about writing very personalized thank you’s for all the engagement gifts. But the USPO wasn’t always as diligent about delivering them
I think it’s uncommon for couples not to send thank you cards. However, what is common for many couples is to have thank you cards be a part of their photography package so it may be a few months before they receive those.
Gourmetmom- I received a pre printed thank you note like that too. It had something written like “thank you for sharing our day…” No mention of the gift. Weddings are hit and miss but lately baby showers have been too. I know writing them is a pain but c’mon…
H and I had over 750 people attend our wedding. We got all our thank you notes out within two months after the wedding (after 5 week honeymoon). There is really no excuse other than laziness for not writing a short personal note to thank people who have attended your wedding and given a gift. The pre-printed excuses for thank you notes really are not the same, tho I guess receiving nothing is even worse.
I received one of those pre-printed thank you cards for a Bar Mitzvah. The mom thought it was great.
After my mom died, I wrote notes or called the people that spent the time writing paragraphs about their relationship with her. Those were the cards I saved, not the ones with just a signature.
I have a distant cousin who invited me to her daughters wedding. I sent a check. It was many months before the check was cashed, and never a TU card. She will remain distant.
Based on my personal experience and threads on CC, obviously there are many people that think that NOT writing notes is the norm. I wish the anti thank you note contingent would contribute to threads like these. Do they think notes are foolish? Would they admit to being lazy? Did they intend to write but too much time passed and they were embarrassed?
@acollegestudent told us that for him/her it is cultural but didn’t mention the culture. Hopefully the culture does thank yous in another appreciative way.
At my last job, I had a LOT of young co-workers, and as a result I have been to four weddings over the past 15 months (for me, that’s a lot of weddings and a lot of wedding gifts.) I got thank-you notes for all the gifts I sent - in one case, I got the thank-you about three weeks after the gift was received and in another, the thank-you note came almost a year later.
I am a big fan of Miss Manners. I just searched her web site and could not find any mention of a culture that doesn’t do thank you notes; that doesn’t mean that said culture doesn’t exist, but still… I am curious to hear an explanation.
We’ve received thank yous for the weddings we’ve gone to in the last few years, but some have taken as long as 4 months. I was ready to check with the parents of the bride (our friends) when the thank you arrived in the mail.
Currently, we are awaiting a thank you for a wedding we attended in Oct. This couple also didn’t send a thank you for the shower gift, which I’m not sure they ever received. I know they got the wedding gift…the check was cashed.
S1 is getting married later this year. I hope they get their thank yous out within 2 months, but I can only suggest that they do so. DH and I, who took our honeymoon 4 months after the wedding, got our thank yous out in 2 weeks. I don’t expect others to be that quick though.
