Hello everyone, it has been a very long time since I have posted on CC, but I am a faithful reader. I am looking for everyone’s opinions on a situation that has come into my life.
About four years ago, I refinanced my parent-plus loans with SoFi, a private lender.
Last February my son took his life after a very brief psychotic episode. Our lives have been shattered, as you can imagine. He died without a will, and so I handled his financial affairs through probate. I was able to get all his credit card debt forgiven (not much, really) and his federal student loans were forgiven as well. This leaves the parent-plus loan. Which, according to SoFi, will never be forgiven because they do not forgive the private loans of deceased students.
My question is this, do you think it is worth pursuing this with the media, consumer advocacy groups, etc? I know there must be other parents out there with this situation. I realize that I did sign the papers for the loan, but never in a million years did I think my son would leave this life when he did. Any and all advice is appreciated.
I am very sorry for your loss.
I think it would be emotionally demanding to pursue this.
I would only act if it would provide meaning to you to pursue such a cause.
@gabbymom I am so, so sorry for the loss of your son. That is tragic. As far as getting any loan forgiveness, have you spoken to an attorney? I think that would be the best place to begin. Best of luck to you.
I am so very sorry for your loss. I agree that you would bleed to be really emotionally shored up to even consider media exposure. Have you tried to negotiate a reduced amount with them?
@gabbymom - I haven’t any suggestions, I simply wanted to share my condolences with you. May his memory be for a blessing.
I’m so, so sorry. That’s my greatest fear for my son. I have no advice but I will keep you in my prayers.
Thank you everyone for all of your kind words. Just to give a little more information, when I first called SoFi last March, I was still very raw and so I just gave up. I am starting to heal, and am feeling a bit stronger, and lately have felt very deeply about how unfair this is, and that people should be aware of these companies with heartless practices. You are changed forever when you lose a child, and it can either make you crawl into a dark hole, or you can feel that you need to memorialize your child in some way; that is probably why you see parents starting all kinds of movements and foundations, etc. Sometimes I feel that maybe this is what I need to do, in his memory, to call out these companies for their policies. It has become a matter of principle, not just the money. I am very private and introverted, but if it would help other parents, I would do it. I did get in touch with a lawyer, but I am going to be filing for divorce in the new year (not related to the loss), and I need to have money for that.
So sorry for your loss. I’d probably try seeing if the company would offer a reduced amount under the circumstances.
If that goes nowhere and you feel strongly about it, I’d try a free initial consultation with an attorney. I agree it can be emotionally very difficult to go that route, with media & lawsuit.
@gabbymom - if it helps, do it, follow your instincts (always). As women, we’re often told (in actual words or just in practice) not to make waves or rock the boat. I will support whatever you choose to do, and I agree, predatory lending (on any level) is a crime!
No advice, just virtual hugs and enormous hope you and your loved ones find a measure of peace after this terrible tragedy. Wishing you only the best.
I too am so sorry for your loss.
I think the issue here is that the Parent Plus Loan is in your name…not your son’s. It is and always was your debt. It was never a student loan.
Having said that, you have nothing to lose by reaching out to the company again to explain the circumstances. Perhaps they would agree to a reduced amount. Worth asking.
I am so very sorry for your loss.
I do not believe you will be successful in getting the loan forgiven, unfortunately. One of the big perks of federal parent loans is that the debt is forgiven if the parent who borrowed or the student dies. There is no such perk to private loans … and refinancing federal loans with a private lender removes the federal perks.
I agree that it may be worth it to try to negotiate a lower amount. Since the debt is yours, not your S’s, you may not be successful. If you feel up to it, you certainly could try. Be aware that any amount forgiven will be taxed.
My very best to you.
@kelsmom thank you for the info about parent Plus forgiveness in the event of student death. While that doesn’t help this parent, it’s a good piece of information to have…which we all hope we will never need to use.
Good luck @gabbymom. I hope you find some relief.
No advice but wanted to offer my condolences as well. I’m so very, very sorry. You will be in my prayers.
I am so very sorry.
As for the loan, please do some research online. There have been cases when parents have prevailed in these loans when something like this happens. May give you ideas how to proceed.
Yes, one of the advantages with PLUS is that those loans are forgiven if students or parent borrower dies. Not so with many co signed loans.
No advice but just want to offer my deepest condolences. I am so very sorry for your loss.
As @cptofthehouse suggests, if others have tried to do something similar, I’d think understanding their experiences could provide valuable insight.
(((hugs)))
I am heartbroken to read of your loss. Sorry I don’t have any advise but glad to see other suggestions above.
@gabbymom you strike me as a very strong woman. I don’t have advice but admiration for your actions in keeping out of that dark hole. Bless you and hugs.
According to the US govt website, parents whose student died can apply for parent plus loan debt to be discharged. I don’t know any more than I just found here at this link.
https://studentaid.gov/manage-loans/forgiveness-cancellation/death
I would absolutely follow up on this. You can print out the pages of the govt website if you have any problems.
I also want to extend my condolences.
@Himom – as @Kelsmom explained above, the link you provided applies to a Parent Plus loan, but the problem is that the OP refinanced with a prior lender, and in so doing it appears she gave up that benefit. It might be worth a legal consult to at least review the terms of the refinance to verify that. However, she said she refinanced with SoFi and they seem to be quite direct on their website that “Parent PLUS loans come with certain kinds of borrower protections you would lose if you refinanced.” and “Keep in mind that refinancing your loans with a private lender means forfeiting federal loan benefits such as forbearance, deferment, and income-based repayment plans”. (This is at https://www.sofi.com/learn/content/what-is-a-parent-plus-loan/ ) While they don’t mention the specific protection in the event of death of the student,.
This is also on the SOFI website, in a blog post:
https://www.sofi.com/blog/is-your-parent-plus-loan-ripe-for-refinancing/
There has been some discussion of this problem on the long Parent PLUS loan thread at http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/1498510-read-this-before-you-take-out-a-parent-plus-loan.html – basically there are several posts suggesting or cautioning parents to take out a term life insurance policy on their offspring if they are taking private loans.
I do think that it may be possible for the OP to negotiate some sort of reduction, depending on circumstances – though she might do better if someone else were negotiating on her behalf. I don’t think the idea of going to the media or an advocacy group would help. The private lender simply is under no legal obligation to forgive the loan. Raising a big fuss wouldn’t change that.