In another thread, some posters praised an older person for still caring about things, llke not caring so much was a sign of giving up or depression, I guess.
I think it’s great that we get to chill as we age! Am I wrong? My mom was so much more mellow in her 80s, and I loved it. I feel like when we are younger we don’t have the confidence to do our own things and are too influenced by others. Remember sweating whether our kids got enough playing time or won awards or went to the right college? I would NEVER want to go back to those days. I think letting go of so much of that is a blessing, not a negative or a sign of something gone wrong.
100% agree. I am enjoying the freedom of life events not stressing me out as much. Even the small intrinsic decrease in personal rumination over my first child versus second during their college application process (youngest is a hs senior) is noticeable 4 years later.
I hope I never get that way. Wheel me off with a protest sign in my hand. Ignorance is bliss? Not to me.
My eldest parent was 88 at passing. Caring and knowing about life around her kept her engaged and interesting. Maybe she didn’t always relate or understand or def not always agree with my/our opinions but she kept her individuality. That is what I hope for.
So is it ok to not care? That’s certainly an individual personal opinion. And my opinion for my life at age 66 is I sure hope not to be there!
Worrying is no fun. But worrying comes from a place of caring so I’ll stick with it.
I didn’t see the original discussion/comment so I am not certain what exactly it was referring to. There are different kinds of “not caring” in my opinion. There is learning not to worry so much about things that aren’t actually that important (and learning to identify which things those are), and there is becoming apathetic which, if taken far enough, can result in lack of compassion. I have been making a concentrated effort for the first (I am naturally pretty high strung and prone to worry - see my username lol) and I would definitely like to be more chill about the day to day things. I am trying meditation and such for that. But I still care about people and the planet and the country and the world. I want to maintain if not increase my patience and compassion for the things that really matter. I don’t want to lose that. I think compassion and a sense of interconnectedness is what makes us human.
I truly believe in the first option. Missed a Black Friday deal? Whatever it is, it will be on sale again soon enough. Too cold to do something with my 91-year-old friend? It will be warmer soon. Etc., etc., etc.
I read it differently. To me it would be “wheel me off with a protest sign in my hand, but I’m not going to fuss if I’ve put on 5 pounds and not got my hair done before then”
I think many of us are saying similar things. Learn to care more about important things and less about the more trivial & transient things (especially things we have little to no control over).
I posted something supportive about a widow in her 80’s, newly married for the second time, who wants to bring her china to the CCRC where her new husband lives. I said that I found it “poignant” that she still cares about such details.
Sorry folks. I wasn’t posting about ANY of the things y’all are posting about. Gain five lbs. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Stop voting. Start voting. Whatever. It was a comment to support the widow’s daughter-in-law who has heroically been working overtime to help the widow make good decisions as she transitions to her new life, out of her own home and into a communal living situation. Where I’ve observed MANY elderly folks who just decide “I’m eating off paper plates while I stand in front of the microwave”.
That’s all I meant. A vote of support. I wasn’t commenting on “caring about everything so much”.
Oh, dear. I didn’t mean to offend you and specifically didn’t mention a thread or a poster. The idea extends beyond that post and cc.
My thinking is informed, in part, by this song by a 32yo thinking about her life choices. The first time I heard it I thought, “Thank God I am past all that. Life is so much easier now.”
And I certainly didn’t mean caring about anything. I’ve been to three protests this year at my state Capitol!
I hadn’t heard that song. It’s so beautiful and so sad at the same time. Life is full of choices that carry consequences - but it’s also riddled with potholes that upend our desires or plans. Am I past all of that? Not 100%. I still sometimes wonder about the path taken vs the path not taken. But I do think that I have the wisdom of age and experience that allows me to be content with my life as it turned out. For me, as I approach my golden years, I am reminded of the song My Way. I continue to care about things, but I also can let things go that don’t provide value to my life. I no longer get embarrassed if someone drops by when I probably should have dusted first!
Not my kind of music, but I don’t get what you get from that song. I just get, ‘did I choose the right path’, not anything at all about caring about everything so much. Some people want to have kids and other folks don’t. That’s what I think the song is about.
As far as quitting caring about everything so much, definitely not. If you quit caring that is a big sign of depression. If you quit caring about what other people think of you, that is super healthy. I don’t think that song has anything to do with either of those ideas.
As for bringing the fine china to the CCRC, yes you need to let go of some stuff and that is poignant, but if it brings her joy to have it then let her bring it and use it. The paring down can be freeing or it can be a painful reminder of the life gone by, or it can be both.
I’m listening to that song from the position as someone much older than 32. I’m sure I had some of the same ponderings when I was younger. I’m saying that I enjoy being my age and engaging in less angst and unproductive navel-gazing. (NOT saying this song is unproductive navel-gazing. I think it’s beautiful and poignant). And if that results in some loosening of standards … well, this former Type A personality is happier becoming a Type B+ as I’ve aged.
I’ve never cared much about things over which I have no control or what other people think, even as a teenager, and I’ve never carried a sign or paid attention to politics before 2016. Since November 2024, I’ve not listened to or read a single minute of news. I appreciate the sign outside the Springfield Retirement Castle: Thank you for not discussing the outside world. These days, I guard my mind jealously, living mostly in my head and clinging to Philippians 4:8:
…whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.
Have I given up? On life, no. On anything that interferes with joy and peace in my life, yes. I only have so much time left, and I don’t intend to waste a minute of it on things that don’t matter or I can’t change.
My aunt stayed current with news and social trends until her death at 98. She couldn’t move around much but was always ready for a good conversation. She read a lot and enjoyed games. She was in IL and really hated that so many residents had zero conversation topics other than grandchildren and their aches and pains. Nobody seemed to read a newspaper or watch the news. Weather is boring. If you want to maintain connections with others it’s helpful to have things outside yourself to make those connections.
We don’t have cable, I’ve never watched news, and I don’t read any online news sources or newspapers or listen to podcasts. What leaks through is what I read here and hear in general conversation socially, but I haven’t sought out a minute of news-related print or TV media. I read a lot of (non-fiction) books. I’m not lacking for interesting conversation.
