Tolerance for Greek life is subjective, but in our family’s opinion, W&L is quite inclusive for those who are interested and does not cause an issue for those who choose not to participate. This thread may be of interest as a current student (not in Greek life) posted about his experience.
Best of luck to your student! I’m the mom of a Francophile (W&L senior, premed). 
I also thought of Middlebury, but was concerned about all of the cost, distance, and difficulty getting admitted.
A wild thought might be Bishop’s University in Lennoxville Quebec. It of course fails on the distance criteria. If you look at the cost on their web site it is denominated in Canadian dollars. Translated into US Dollars I think that it comes close to US$30,000/year, although you should probably check this. Some merit aid is possible. In our case the merit aid offered was modest, but since my daughter would have qualified as a Quebec resident this was taken off of a rather small initial cost, which I think impacted the amount of merit aid that we were offered. It is the Canadian equivalent of a smallish LAC, and has a superb languages program including a superb French program. It is also located in a small town that as far as I know is fully bilingual, and which is right next to a overwhelmingly French speaking smallish city. They also have a good theatre program (and they know how to spell it!). It is one of the three English language universities in Quebec (the other two are large). I at least think of it as far more collaborative rather than competitive. We quite liked it when we visited.
I haven’t looked at American—but will! I think JMU may be a bit big, although so is UVA…so….
And yes!! He’s well aware that necessity may force him to fly (& likely will). Just trying to avoid it if it’s not necessary at this time. And he’s 17…we are holding space for the idealism of youth! 
I think both would be too much. I may be wrong. But he’s got some heavy lifting planned for senior year, and two math classes could be one too many. We will ponder that!
We do now have Amtrak here!
Getting to DC/Philly/NYC is easy. A friend whose son attends school in Arkansas had to route through Chicago to get the train home and it took….a long time. So I think taking the train out in a westerly direction is possible, but cumbersome. We’ve actually looked at it for family trips, but via train I think the NE is more accessible to us in general. Schools in DC would have a slight edge in that he could take the train home, which would make all parties happy.
That’s helpful!
Interestingly Greek life was downplayed on our tour. But when cornered our tour guide admitted that it’s huge, although she emphasized that it’s very inclusive.
I am very found of W&L’s campus, and it’s terribly convenient. Their resources for students were impressive, too!
Our family really loved Centre College. I was disappointed that D24 didn’t choose to attend there. They have some really solid study abroad options in France, from what I recall. It’s a great school in a very safe town. ~ 45min drive from the Lexington, KY airport. Students can fill their fine arts general ed class requirement, if they want, by taking a glass blowing class (the school has a pretty awesome glass blowing shop/studio/building).
Here’s their study abroad info…there’s some info in here about their semester program in France.
** Edited to add **
re-read OP’s post at the start of this thread…
Centre has a thriving art community. Lots of options for somebody who’s interested in being involved in theater even if you don’t want to be a theater major. My D24 is a choir kid and she auditioned (and was awarded) for one of their music scholarships. They have theater scholarships, too. You don’t have to be an art/music/theater major in order to apply for those, by the way.
I think there’s also foreign language scholarships, too.
Also, while visiting there last year, we definitely got the impression that while there was Greek life present, it didn’t dominate campus social life. In addition, Greek rush for freshman isn’t until spring semester…which is on purpose so students will form relationships & connections with people regardless of whether or not they’re in a frat or sorority.
I love that you posted these details as I had JUST finished looking at Centre and was so impressed by what I see on their site. I went to law school with a woman who’d gone there—is never heard of it before that. It seems like a potentially great fit for him. The drive is long but doable, and it seems….nurturing? And student-centered.
Definitely a problem with a small school is that any major is going to have limited course offerings, but a foreign language is going to be really tough. If your son is already fluent, he’s going to test out of a lot of the offerings. And don’t just check the catalog, check what is offered in several different semesters. My daughter was in a smaller department at a bigger school and sometimes classes were only offered one semester every OTHER year, so if you weren’t there that semester (study abroad, illness, another reason), that student might never have gotten to take a class he really wanted.
I know 4 French majors and none ended up teaching French or working with it (past entry level jobs of answering phones in French for both sister and SisIL, that got them into their industries).
-Sister- Middlebury, then U of Wisconsin. Became a lawyer, then a 5th grad teacher
-Sis in Law - U of Chicago, then Metro State in Denver. Communications exec.
-Cousin - Bowdoin, then Wesleyan. Asst to a NYC tax lawyer
-Former boss - U of Wyoming. Lawyer
Of the 4, only my sister did study abroad, and she did it in Germany (was a double major in German and French)
I agree that extending geographic possibilities into the Midwest via train would open up a number of schools that would be excellent fits in every other way. Very much agree with Gustavus and St. Olaf, which also happen to belong to National Student Exchange. NSE allows unlimited exchanges with any of the other participating schools, paying no more than in-state (or in province) charges for tuition. Some French speaking schools in Quebec participate, as do some schools in Puerto Rico:
https://nse.org/exchange/colleges-universities/alpha-location/
The Midwest also has Beloit (near Chicago) which has traditionally had a strong French program.
As a research method, you can view IPEDS (e.g., College Navigator - Middlebury College) for information on the number of students graduating with a “first major” in French Language and Literature. For general perspective, this is a sampling of results:
Grinnell: 8
Vassar: 6
Colgate: 6
Hamilton: 5
Williams: 2
Middlebury: 1
Definitely student centered. Nurturing. Culture of mentorship, exploring who you are and what you’re interested in. Our high school’s college counselor recommended we check it out which is why we put it on the list! 
From what I recall there’s info on their admissions page about home schooled applicants. Their admissions staff is really responsive.
Since he will fly internationally, what about McGill?
Wait, Canada is international?! Just kidding! We LOVE Canada! It feels close-ish & familiar to me, and I love Canadians. And actually Montreal is a long drive, but not an impossible one. We’ve done it before….
I have considered McGill—I have a friend whose daughter goes there. Still feels a little far to my “mother’s heart.”
3/4 lawyers or assistants to lawyers. I better not tell my son! He resolutely refuses to think about that as a career path, even though I think he’d be well-suited to it. (I’m a lawyer. 
) You never know….
I majored in philosophy and didn’t plan on law school!
The courses issue is one we’ve considered as we’ve looked at catalogs, because I know not all courses are offered all the time. It may be an issue. He will be ready to jump into higher-level classes conducted entirely in French. He also plans to study abroad for at least a semester but hopefully a full year.
The culture of mentorship is attractive to me. I attended a mid-sized undergrad (5000) & then went to a TINY school for my M.A. The difference in student-professor relationships at the undergrad level was remarkable; the smaller school was much more invested in mentoring & fostering the professor-student relationship. As a kid who has been homeschooled, I think that would be a boon to him.
I suspect that part of the reason why the trip for your friend’s son took so long was the connection in Chicago (as well as the fact that the U.S. train system is just not built up like it is in so many other countries). I just went exploring Amtrak’s website a bit more to see which routes would probably be best for your family and what the times are like.
Northeast Regional Train Route: This is the route that includes Roanoke, which sounds like the most convenient train location for OP’s family.
Schedule
Departs Roanoke at 4:23PM and arrives in D.C. at 10:00PM, Baltimore at 10:51PM, Philadelphia at 12:26AM, Newark at 1:49AM, New London at 7:57AM, Providence at 8:59AM, and Boston at 9:47AM.
Also has an option leaving Roanoke at 6:15AM (M-F) and arriving in Boston at 11:59PM or leaving at 8:38AM (Sa & Su) and ending in NY.
The NE Regional Route has a lot of different train numbers (most of which don’t hit Roanoke), but you already seem pretty familiar with this one.
Cardinal Route: Includes a stop at Clifton Forge, 1hr from Roanoke
Schedule:
Leave Clifton Forge at 4:13PM and arrive in Cincinnati at 1:41AM, Indianapolis at 6:00AM, Crawfordsville at 6:58AM (40m from DePauw), or Chicago at 10:00AM.
Leave Chicago at 5:55PM, Crawfordsville at 10:30PM, Indianapolis at 12:15AM, Cincinnati at 3:37AM, and arrive at Clifton Forge at 1:09PM.
Crescent Route: Includes a stop at Lynchburg, 1h7m from Roanoke
No colleges have been mentioned yet that aren’t within a 6-hr drive, but Wofford is in Spartanburg, one of the stops. Furman, mentioned by someone upthread, is in Greenville, which is another stop.
Do the times of the Cardinal Route seem doable for your son? (I know European trains have sleeper berths, perhaps U.S. ones do, too?)
McGill is a very good and very well known university. However it academically demanding, is known for grade deflation, and could be stressful for some students. I do not think that it will fit into a $30,000/year budget for an international student (regardless of whether US or Canadian dollars).
Given that I already mentioned Bishop’s, it might also be worth mentioning the third university in Quebec that teaches primarily in English. It is Concordia, which is also in Montreal and quite close to McGill (at one point we stayed in a hotel between the two, and walked to tours at both McGill and Concordia on different days). McGill and Concordia are both relatively large. The part of Montreal where they are located is largely bilingual. I can walk into almost any store or restaurant in the area, start to speak French, and they immediately break into English (some of us need to ask if we want to practice French).
There are a small number of universities in Canada that are officially bilingual. The one that comes to mind is Ottawa. The last time that I looked (which was a while ago) they gave a tuition break for bilingual students. This requires that the student take some classes in English and some classes in French. I do not recall what it costs for a bilingual international student and there is a good chance that it still will not meet the stated budget.
The cost of universities in Canada will vary quite a bit for international students. The last time that I checked (a while ago) the best known universities such as Toronto and McGill cost significantly more than US$30,000 per year for international students (this is assuming that you are not a citizen of Canada nor France).
Assuming he might become more flexible with flying, check out Macalester in MN, when we toured they stressed the foreign language requirement (a full 2 years, but you can test out of some of that). I got the impression that most kids take at least some foreign language and they offer quite a wide variety. Big study abroad program, too. Liberal, friendly students and in a beautiful part of St. Paul. For a safety, Beloit College in WI is only 90 min from Chicago, has very strong foreign language programs and lots of kids study abroad. Similar vibe, friendly liberal leaning students.
I see a few issues.
Your need on NPCs is coming above where you want to pay and these are pricey schools and many, like Midd, don’t offer merit. So why bother ?
You have no test score. That will tell a lot once you have.
At least based on math, rigor lacks.
So I think you need to find a $30k school.
Some suggestions:
In state -
In addition to the big names and it may not good derp enough but schools like CNU and Mary Washington. Great schools, less competitive admission wise but meets your requirements and budget friendly.
Ogelthorpe in Atlanta May match UVA tuition but you’d be over $30k. They have a French major.
Marshall in WV likely too big but not huge - has a French major that could work.
My opinion is most the names above won’t work.
So hopefully this provides some realistic fall back options that meet your criteria.
Good luck.
