<p>…How far my peers will go to get out of accepting the consequences of their actions.</p>
<p>This was stemmed by the “Pregnancy in college?” thread in the college life forum. </p>
<p>They’ll even go so far as comparing a fetus and a tapeworm to justify abortion.</p>
<p>Anything, so long as I don’t have to deal with the consequences of my actions!</p>
<p>^^Yep, and they’re usually joined in their endeavors by their parents. :(</p>
<p>Getting an abortion is not “getting out of accepting consequences.”</p>
<p>Really?</p>
<p>You have sex, something happens (whether that’s unprotected sex, condom ripping, missing a pill, or what have you), you get pregnant.</p>
<p>You get an abortion, and suddenly you don’t have to deal with your irresponsibility. You get to continue living as if nothing ever happened.</p>
<p>HGFM
You’re still young with many life experiences to come. When we are young, we think we know exactly what we would do if certain situations occurred to us. I think if you asked most parents they would agree that when young they thought “I’ll NEVER ___________” and changed their minds when whatever it was happened. </p>
<p>I don’t want to argue prolife/prochoice issue but suffice it to say that it is the rare woman who has had an abortion ever feels that “nothing ever happened”.</p>
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</p>
<p>How do you know this ? How do you know these people do not mourn their unborn ?</p>
<p>And so? I have had an abortion, and I know other women have as well, it have been going on since forever.</p>
<p>Irrresonsiblity? THat is very unfair. Many responsible, smart, mature women get pregnat, though they took precautions. And would you judge one of your friends so harshly if that happened?</p>
<p>ANd yes, even married women have abortions, for a variety of reasons.</p>
<p>Many people decide not to have sex until marriage, fine and dandy, but it should not suprise how many don’t last, with people getting married in their late 20s, having sex before marriage is very natural. And yes accidents happen, and yes, people have abortions and I don’t consider them irresponsible in many cases. As a mother of two, who loves my daughters with all I have, I have never regretted my decision to have an abortion when I was 20.</p>
<p>If more women spoke up then it wouldn’t be such a taboo subject. I remember reading last year about a poster here who talked about her abortion. Good for her.</p>
<p>And sad, sad is the men who walk away, those are the ones to be yelled at.</p>
<p>HisGrace,</p>
<p>You don’t have to like how someone else deals with an unwanted pregnancy, but abortion is legal in this country (thank God!) and having one most certainly IS accepting the consequences of one’s actions.</p>
<p>It’s nice of you to automatically assume that someone was “irresponsible.” Lovely, just lovely.</p>
<p>I don’t, but that’s definitely how the kids in the College Life forum act. Like it’s any other surgery with no consequences. That’s what saddens me the most.</p>
<p>One of my best friends in high school had an abortion our sophomore year, and she’s never been the same since. It’s heartbreaking.</p>
<p>owlice-I don’t “automatically assume” that it’s irresponsibility.</p>
<p>What bothers me, if you read my OP, is that my peers use it as a form of birth control when it was never intended that way.</p>
<p>And you’re judging me the same way you’re saying I’m judging others. “Lovely. Just lovely.”</p>
<p>I still simply fail to see how having an abortion is “accepting consequences.”</p>
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<p>You may not recognize it, but “never been the same since” was a consequence. </p>
<p>I think you are trying to say your peers do not take responsibility for the consequences of sex. I do agree that abortion should not be used as a form of birth control.</p>
<p>You DID assume it was irresponsibility. From your post:</p>
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</p>
<p>Emphasis mine.</p>
<p>It amazes me, HisGraceFillsMe, that you would prefer that someone who uses abortion as birth control (assuming you actually do know someone like that, which I doubt) would do better to parent the child rather than have the abortion.</p>
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<p>Ah, and just because YOU can’t see how it is, you assume that others must see it the same way. It’s obvious not everyone sees it your way, however, as I and others have told you.</p>
<p>I would bet you she hasn’t been the same since, not just because of the abortion, but other issues connected with it-lack of support, etc.</p>
<p>SO you would want everyone that got pregnant under whatever circumstances to have a baby?</p>
<p>Accidents in life happen, and people deal with them, and if my daughter came to me and wanted an abortion ,I would support her decision.</p>
<p>Are you basing your opinion on religious grounds or medical or just wanting to have life long consequences when an accident happens.</p>
<p>Maybe your friend sees how some people reacted to her choice and treat her differently because of it and she senses that.</p>
<p>Most of the people that I know that had abortions moved on, lived life well, some became mothers later and are very good parents, but it was because they had a choice.</p>
<p>Forcing women to have babies when there was an accident is treating them like brood cows,</p>
<p>kippychick-I’m basing it on the fact that no baby should be treated as a “mistake”. If you honestly don’t want it, give it up for adoption so that someone who does want it can have it.</p>
<p>I’m more than a little tired of people attacking my character just because I don’t like people using abortion as birth control. I’ll be leaving this thread now. Feel free to say whatever you like about me…I’m a jackass who can’t accept what others think or do, and I’m a terrible person for wanting people to give their unborn child a chance at life, and treats women like “brood cows”. So sorry.</p>
<p>Aw common Hisgrace! Your better than that! cool off, then come back and try to understand the responses your getting, and to better explain what your trying to say. This is a very emotional subject and it there can be little true sharing if people end up feeling defensive.</p>
<p>My D goes to a very conservative school, and while I like to believe the subject is complex for everyone, it bothered me to think her peers didn’t see how awful some of the alternatives to abortion sometimes turned out. I work with kids whose lives would break your heart. Apparently at some point I told her “there are worse things then death”, and one of her friends said she’d softened her stance after hearing that… all quoted in our local newspaper!</p>
<p>At least you are being honest here, you consider it a baby at conception. And I bet you treated your BF wonderfully after she had the abortion, that you treated her differently.</p>
<p></p>
<p>My problem with the College Life forum is that a lot of the discussion consists of either knee-jerk responses to inflammatory topics about AA/sexism/racism/whatever or outright flame-baiting.</p>
<p>Kids on CC are incredibly smart and driven, and demonstrate excellent analytical and critical thinking skills on the SAT/ACT/AP tests. But when it comes to applying those skills outside of admissions testing, I see a dearth of actual discussion, and an unwillingness to really see all sides of the question. Part of intelligence is maturity, and a lot of maturity has to do with being able to maintain and facilitate civil discourse, as well as questioning your own opinions and initial responses. Assuming people are trying to “Avoid the consequences of their actions” isn’t exactly diplomatic. Neither is refusing to hear other sides of the debate.</p>
<p>I think this probably goes both ways. OP could have been more considerate of the extremely personal and non-uniform nature of abortion, and some of the kids discussing the pregnancy could have thought more about the consequences of terminating a pregnancy (whether or not the the fetus is a “baby” or not).</p>
<p>(btw: this is definitely <em>not</em> intended as a denigration of CC users, or as a personal attack against the OP. I’ve found almost all the posters here to be extremely helpful and friendly, as well as intelligent. It’s just a personal reaction to the forum.)</p>
<p>I went to the thread she mentioned and read as many of the posts as I could stomach. The callousness on that thread would dishearten anyone who considers a pregnancy the potential of a human life, regardless of where you fall in the pro-choice/pro-life spectrum. </p>
<p>I think she came “here” to get away from the juvenile responses to a college pregnancy. Her post was probably more in reaction to the disgusing level to which that thread had (almost immediately) fallen, rather than a rant against young women who find themselves in a difficult and unplanned pregnancy. Before you beat her up too much, go read a few of those posts. I’ll bet you’ll at least understand her disgust with some of her generation.</p>
<p>Not sure what the purpose was of starting an abortion thread in the parents cafe. These threads, like most political and personal agenda threads, quickly deteriorate.</p>
<p>We’re just animals. Abortions are fine with me. Guess I don’t care to worry about this stuff because this is the only life I’ve got. Gonna get recycled in a few decades anyway. Earth is gonna get recycled too, once the Sun goes on us. Nothing we do matters - so do whatever makes you happy. Could be competing, amassing wealth, debating on the internet, drinking alcohol, praying to a god - whatever, just do it. If killing yourself is what makes you happy, you can do that too; but I prefer a more optimistic breed of nihilism.</p>
<p>Yes, I looked at the thread, and I agree with mom2three–I think that’s what was motivating HBFM’s post. Then again, I get annoyed sometimes at the length to which parents are willing to go to makes excuses for their kids around here (and IRL) also. Time to switch over to a good book. :)</p>