<p>Haven’t the OP and her friend been living in differenct cities, far away, with sporadic contact, for over 25 years? It seems to me that the relationship was already attenuated, and that the friend was overly dramatic in her response. If the OP was just trying to reconnect on the mild Facebook-friend type level that many of us have done with old friends, it seems to me that the friend’s response is that she isn’t interested in that. I would suggest dropping it, unless she responds in some further way.</p>
<p>A picture of the friend’s daughter as flower girl strikes the wrong note, IMO. It reads like the OP is trying to guilt the friend. (“Look, here is a picture of your daughter at MY WEDDING, remember how she was at MY WEDDING even though you refuse to be friend anymore, SO SELFISH.”) </p>
<p>Pick out something off the couple’s gift registry and don’t get a present for the mom of the bride. Write her a heartfelt note and if she doesn’t reply to that, let it go.</p>
<p>All I can say is that I feel for the OP with so many different viewpoints being expressed here!</p>
<p>I appreciate Naturally’s opinion about the proposed photo gift. My view was that it harks back to a time when the two were friends and, with a note, suggests that a return to that friendship would be welcome.</p>
<p>YMMV.</p>
<p>Same here, ADad, and that the Mother of the Bride may be feeling sentimental about her daughter growing up! But that is probably my prejudice as having just celebrated my D’s wedding. The thought of using the photo to manipulate or “guilt” the old friend had not occurred to me, but I see Naturally’s point.</p>
<p>No right or wrong, just a good reminder that people’s feelings matter, and we need to be careful with them.</p>
<p>How about including the photo of the bride as flower girl with the wedding gift to the bride? Include a note saying how fondly you remember that day and that you wish her and her new husband similar memories and much happiness in the years ahead.</p>