<p>Cellardweller-
Can I hire you to be my research assistant??</p>
<p>jnpn: Thanks for that wonderful post. It was civil, yet extremely informative and educational. I learned something from it, and your post causes me to pause and think.</p>
<p>In my posts, I have acknowledged that the vast majority of parents I’ve encountered during my career were not “Ivy-Obsessed” nor are the majority causing their children to get depressed, etc. because of the pressure they put on their children. Again, I’ve acknowledged this.</p>
<p>However, do you think that the “bad parenting” stories I’ve shared with you are simply made up or part of my imagination? It amazes me to find that, over the past several months, I have had virtually every CC’er out there adamantly deny that these problems exist. No one out there seems to want to acknowledge that some adolescents are suffering on a daily basis because of parental focus on achievement and the value of getting into an Ivy.</p>
<p>Is anyone out there ready to “step up to the plate” and acknowledge that the stories I’ve shared really do occur in our schools on a daily basis?</p>
<p>The problem is this: People who visit this website are, to a large extent, same-minded. That is, for most CC viewers the focus is on supporting anything that smacks of Ivy. It follows, therefore, that few on here are willing to acknowledge that what I have to say is true. For many CC viewers, my posts may be hitting “too close to home.”</p>
<p>My invitation is this: If anyone out there has the guts to go against the grain of the typical CC viewer, and acknowledge that my points are valid, step up to the plate and submit a post supporting my views.</p>
<p>Quite frankly: Expecting the same old, same old.</p>
<p>cellardweller: RE: Post # 60. I love it! Actually, I’m starting to like being called a ■■■■■!</p>
<p>cellardweller: Almost forgot to ask: Which Ivy did you graduate from?</p>
<p>Re: Post # 62 (you have posterd a few more since I started this), You are asking people to tell you how often they beat their spouses. Trying to get people to admit to something they don’t do. You are projecting your issues onto others and hoping that someone will “fess up”. Why? What do you benefit from this? If you really want to help cc’ers , there are many other ways to use your knowledge, experience and training as a college counselor (though I have umpteen times asked your for a little bit of information about your education and training and you steadfastly ignore my request) to provide information about schools that cc’ers might not have considered. Don’t you think you can help others (if this is truly your desire) by providing this information? YOu could have a lot of useful information to share. Instead, you rub people the wrong way. You come across a bit like a Hare Krishna at the airport.</p>
<p>OBW:</p>
<p>Tough luck. I did not even go to college in the US. Never heard of the Ivy league when I enrolled at MIT for grad school. MY D also enrolled at MIT this fall over several Ivies despite my in-laws pleadings. I know it will be a little more intense than DeVry’s and she will probably blame me later having her visit the MIT campus at age 14. It grew on her very slowly as she liked better the college-gothic style of Yale and Princeton until I beat the c*** out of her, … I mean until she saw the wisdom of my advice. </p>
<p>Since you seem to assume bias based on college attendance it would only be fair to turn the question around and ask where you had such a fabulous college experience away from the pressure of the Ivies.</p>
<p>I attended colleges that no one on hear would be the least bit interested in hearing about…they weren’t Ivies.</p>
<p>Gawd OBW, are you so full of yourself and your “wisedom” that you can’t see how pompus you sound when you make statements such as this-
“acknowledge that the stories I’ve shared really do occur in our schools on a daily basis” -They’re your stories, why do you need to have them acknowledged?
“It amazes me to find that, over the past several months, I have had virtually every CC’er out there adamantly deny that these problems exist.”
So doesn’t that tell you something?
“much of what I see on CC contains misinformation and is largely based on opinion (with biases included)”
And you aren’t biased yourself? Oh I see, your opinions are worth more than ours, even though you have an anti-IvY" bias.
"When I came on CC in February, it was very disturbing for me to see the
one-sidedness of the conversations taking place on the various threads. Virtually every thread touted the virtues of the “elite” and the “Ivies.” </p>
<p>What you just don’t seem to get is that this website does attract a far larger % of students and parents who want information about the top colleges because they, for the most part, are at the top of their classes, and have the stats and interests in going to colleges that attract the best and the brightest students. This in not , and never has been, a website for the "typical "college bound student. If you want to use your years as a college counselor to help those students not interested in trying to get into the top colleges, then do as you promised in April, and go elsewhere.</p>
<p>old but wise, </p>
<p>though your intentions may be in the right place, i’m not quite sure what you are advocating here.</p>
<p>that people should just bury their collective heads in the sand and ignore the simple fact that is plain to see that there are very real quality, reputation (read: prestige) differences not only in higher education but in just about everything in the real world?</p>
<p>why do we tell our kids to study hard? –> so they can get into a good school –> why is it important for them to get into a good school? –> so they can get a good education –> why is important to get a good education? –> so that they can have the most opportunities in their careers –> why is it important to have the most opportunities in their careers? –> etc. etc.</p>
<p>should we ignore the fact that there are differences in life (not just in school) in the workplace, etc. there are 5 star hotels and there are rat infested motels. there are Michelin star restaurants and there are fast food joints. these difference are very real and very material. that is a fact. and that is the harsh reality.</p>
<p>so, in considering this “real world”, why wouldn’t you want your kid to get a 5 star education if at all possible? a 5 star education will open doors and provide opportunities that your local community college (read: ITT Tech) will not provide. and why is this a bad thing?</p>
<p>are you suggesting that we should all move toward a Utopian society society where everything is equal? that’s very dreamy, but not very realistic. nor helpful.</p>
<p>life is damn hard. and it isn’t getting any easier in the future. no one is out there handing you a free lunch pal. you’d be “wise but young” to seek every advantage that you can get to prepare yourself for that future. you shouldn’t have to apologize to anyone for aspiring to attend an Ivy. instead of trying to make pariahs out of them, i say, go for it. and good luck. is that so hard to do? do you have to be so bitter and spiteful? perhaps your Ivy dreams went up in smoke, but do you have to rain on everyone else’s parade? get over yourself.</p>
<p>menlo: First of all, I believe that CC viewers like me and appreciate what I have to say. But, if people on CC want me off, I will log off this site permanently.</p>
<p>Here’s the deal CC viewers: IF YOU WANT ME TO STAY ON CC, SAY SO.</p>
<pre><code> IF YOU WANT ME OFF, LET ME KNOW THAT, TOO.
</code></pre>
<p>I will honor whatever the majority says.</p>
<p>But, don’t count on my getting vote off! I’m sure that there is a “silent majority” out there who agree with my views.</p>
<p>man, that is sad. you sir, are an attention whore, i’m sorry to say.</p>
<p>you want people to come out in droves and chant, “oh please don’t go Mr. Old But Wise!!!, how can you leave and deprive us of all of your priceless nuggets of wisdom?” </p>
<p>what a narcissistic blowhard! and IIRC this isn’t the first time you’ve pulled the old “i’m leaving unless CC gives me some lovin’!” if you want to go. just go. if you want to stay, stay. but please, spare us the soap opera routine, buddy!</p>
<p>(pssst: want the cold hard truth? no one cares if you fall of the face of this earth… no one in CC anyway)</p>
<p>Old but Wise speaks the truth.</p>
<p>This is a little off-topic but I think the parents who are most effective at raising achievement oriented children simply: </p>
<p>show an interest in what their kids are doing
provide interesting and stimulating experiences
provide opportunities for exploration
support their kids when they develop an interest in something
let their kids tell them where their talent lies
fill thier home with books on various subjects
discourage TV-watching, video games, and so on
spend money on educational things (not cars and clothes and big houses)
avoid criticizing their children
praise and encourage their children
keep pressures and anxieties to a minimum
show lots of affection unconditionally
never spank, yell at, or threaten their children
avoid being over-involved in their kid’s lives</p>
<p>I bet most high-achieving kids experienced the above kind of upbringing, not the stereotypical pushy parent. Pushy control-freaks make their kids fail.</p>
<p>Collegehelp: Your comments are not off-topic at all; they make complete sense. Thanks for the input.</p>
<p>I strongly suspect OBW is really a HS student just messing with cc’ers. Grammatical errors/spelling errors in posts (that do not look like simple typos but rather the former) cause me to suspect the veracity of this poster. Besides, it doesn’t matter what we say- he will do as he pleases. Demands we answer his questions but refuses ours. Where is Berurah when we need her to yell… NARCISSIST!</p>
<p>Great Article: Please read, then I’d like to hear your comments:</p>
<p><a href=“http://www.hyper-parenting.com/start.htm[/url]”>http://www.hyper-parenting.com/start.htm</a> Then click on: "Talk to Parents…St. Luke’s School</p>
<p>Thanks,</p>
<p>OBW</p>
<p>please take your agenda and your endless requests for comments elsewhere. I’m sure there are lots of blogs out there were you can endlessly ask for comments that back up your own preconceived opinions.</p>
<p>I also believe that OBW is not who he claims to be. Too many things don’t fit. I doubt that an adult would really make the same posts over and over again. The jumping all over the place, the forced “Thanks in advance” statements, the extreme desire to be accepted. There is some ADD element here. Somebody in education would not spell skew as “schew” etc… or display such limited grasp of higher education in the US. The fuzziness of his background (why hide the details?) and the need to constantly refer to his 30 years of counseling are also suspicious, and the OBW user name. It just doesn’t fit. </p>
<p>It is amazing how the anonymity of the internet leads people to present themselves as completely different individuals from who they are in reality. I would love to see OBW’s facebook page.</p>
<p>Y’all should really calm down. Lots of people in this discussion seem to be losing sight of the purpose of CC in the first place. Its not to influence some random student to think your way is the correct path. But rather to provide helpful advice, guidance and opinions on matters of college admissions. Theres no need to brow beat each other and pretend to take the high road, while giving some smart-ass response (i admit even i may be guilty of that from time to time) My point is it’s this very obsessive nature you guys are at each others throats over that causes stress among many rising seniors in HS. If a parent is truly a good one, they’ll instill the drive in their child that makes them want to achieve great things. A child with this sense of looking into the future, looking out for themselves, will undoubtedly achieve great things, no matter what great school they end up at.</p>
<p>^^^^^iawtc</p>