<p>My child is late to the job market this summer. He was going to do research at school for the summer, but it didn’t work out. He did not apply for any internships, despite much encouraging. Since he’s been home (about 10 days now) he has applied for several jobs, but not as many as I would like, and he’s not having any luck. He can probably work where he worked last summer, but that would mean he would miss our summer vacation. My step-child child is taking a class abroad, which is costing thousands of dollars, and will be returning just in time for vacation, and will not be working at all this summer. My younger son is looking for a job, but will be going on vacation with us whether or not he finds a job. Is it mean of me to expect my son to get a job and not go with us on vacation? (His ticket is already paid for, but I’m not even mentioning that to him). I really feel like it’s important to get job experience, and he has almost none. He is a rising junior, if that matters. He does not spend much at college, and does have some savings. What would you do? </p>
<p>Oops, I think I was supposed to put this is parent’s forum, not parents cafe. Oh Well.</p>
<p>I would encourage him to get a job, any job, but ask for that time off for vacation. By the time of a rising junior you can’t teach much, but you can enjoy his company. His company might be in short supply in another year. Let it be his decision, too. </p>
<p>Some parents would give anything to have another week of vacation with their kid. </p>
<p>Thanks. I am really torn between trying to teach him some responsibility and enjoying the little time I have left with him.</p>
<p>I still go on vacation with my kid who is out of college… heading to Belize next year over D2’s spring break. D1 is paying for her own plane ticket and meeting us there. It doesn’t HAVE to be near the end of your time taking vacations together, that is partly up to you. </p>
<p>I would say he goes on vacation with you and let the job chips fall where they may.</p>
<p>It really depends upon the situation. The fact of the matter is that once our children join the work force, or having any other type of high stakes commitments required, they will likely be missing holidays, vacations, visits and things like that. It’s a natural transition as they enter into their own lives and commitments. Trying to juggle anything with a lot of members and commitments in the air makes it nigh impossible to include everyone we want.</p>
<p>I would have your son take the job. Though a lot of jobs want some sort of commitment of that sort up front, when it comes to the actual way it works, it’s often possible to work out vacations or other commitment. One local area rec center will give priority to those who have no time scheduled out in the summer, so if you do show a vacation or anything for a period of time, you go to the end of the hiring list. But the fact of the matter is that most all of those kids take time off. They can swap shifts and just simply ask for certain days off AFTER being hired. It puts a lot of kids in a quandry as the guy who hires out and out asks if there are any vacations or commitments planned and, if the answer is yes, the truth of the matter is that you likely will NOT get the job since so many kids say “no”. My son lost out one year so saying. It was infuriating that most everyone took time off that was hired, many knowing up front about that time off. They just knew better than to answer “yes” to the question. </p>
<p>It might also come down to him not being able to take every bit of the vacation with you. Many time, with as many kids as I have and are variant schedules, some of us have had to come late, leave early in order to spend some time together. It can cost extra when that happens, but it’s sometimes worth it. You have to weigh all the options and look for all the possibilities.</p>
<p>Take him on vacation with you. There probably aren’t too many times left for the entire family to take a vacation together.</p>
<p>It would be ideal if he could find some kind of job that would accommodate your vacation. A job in fast food with variable scheduling might work around it. I get that you don’t want him doing nothing all summer. I wouldn’t want that either.
I would still vote for the vacation because it does get harder to get everyone together once they are in colleges, grad schools and the working world. </p>
<p>I vote for vacation, too! You and he will always have those memories. Just know that next year, don’t buy a ticket already…and have him start earlier! This will be our last summer vacation, as we were almost in the same situation. I think from here on out, we will just try to schedule the big family one over Xmas holiday.</p>
<p>I’m surprised by the comments here! For a junior in college, a job trumps vacation IMO. </p>
<p>Just don’t do what my mom did when I was 18! I had a job as a secretary. My parents wanted me to go with them on vacation, so Mom called my boss and asked if I could have the time off. As soon as the phone call ended, Winona let me have it! She let me know in no uncertain terms that that was NOT acceptable. She did let me take the time off, but I sure learned a lesson!</p>
<p>If I hired a college kid for the 10 week summer with the understanding that they would work the ten weeks and then they had to have a vacation … they could take the rest of the summer off also. I’d be a lot more amenable if I knew about the vacation up front and then I could decide if I wanted to work around it or not.</p>
<p>When our kids were in college, we planned vacations at the end of the summer so that it wouldn’t interfere with summer jobs, if they wanted to come with us. They were always all welcome but not all of them were available each year. Summer jobs were always a given for our Ds, but, as you say, late May/early June is very late to be looking for a summer position, so his options are likely limited.</p>
<p>I’m not sure why so many are claiming this will be your last chance for a vacation with him. My Ds are all adults and we have a family vacation every year for all of them, their significant others, and the grandchildren. Time with your kids doesn’t end when they finish college!</p>
<p>My suggestion is that you require your S to sign up with temp agencies so that he can pick up SOME work while he is at home, and take him on the vacation. </p>
<p>My S was a sluggard when it came to employment, too. But eventually that turned around completely. He did the temp work thing one summer. One advantage was that it showed him what kind of work he did NOT want in the future. :)</p>
<p>Oh goodness. Just take the vacation with everyone. The stepchild gets a trip, a class, and vacation, and you are mad that your child was a poor planner and want to punish him by withholding vacation you intended to take as a family? Yes, it’s annoying, and you want there to be consequences. But everyone goes away and he stays home and works (maybe-- he doesn’t have this other job yet, right?) is a recipe for misery. Life is short. It really, really is. </p>
<p>I have this problem since they both turn 18. This is the only year we are able to vacation together as a family so I grabbed the chance and booked for a nice vacation. D1 had internships and jobs and sororities during college so there is always a must go back date for some reasons. One year we paid for expensive air fare to Europe and she could only spent 5 days, luckily she did because that was the last time she saw her grandma alive. This year, I planned ahead so she had plenty of notice but she can only spend one week vacation and not three weeks as planned. D2 is going to study abroad after she comes back from the vacation. Next year vacation is off the radar because she has to hunt for internships. </p>
<p>Does the job he had last summer (that would mean missing the vacation) relate to his field of study, or is it just a way of making money? If the experience itself is something new and valuable, it might be worth missing the vacation. If the experience just duplicates last year or doesn’t have any real relevance to his future job prospects, I’d let him go with the family. Life really is short, and these kinds of trips are much harder to schedule once our kids start working and have other commitments.
I think I’d have a talk with him about the importance of finding a suitable internship for next summer, and he will need to start early. Have him go to the school placement office in the fall and talk to them about what it takes to get an internship for next year. Have him set up interviews in the fall (informational only) with people he knows in the field he’s interested in and see what he needs to do to do. If he can find a decent placement for next summer, what he does this summer won’t be as important. He needs to work at this, though, and not leave it until the last minute, or he’ll be in the same spot next year. </p>
<p>D has not vacationed with us since High School. Work and study have always trumped vacation. But that’s just us.</p>
<p>Clearly there are mixed feelings about this - for my family, heading to college is the point where the kids might not be included in vacation or every little thing going on. My kids “understood” these things because it’s just the way we are as a family, but other families might not quite want to cut those apron strings quite so soon and I personally know a family that did “family vacations” even with grown adult offspring in their late 20s and early 30s…so it’s very much an individual family dynamic. My kids knew that my H and I were looking forward to them leaving home and looking forward to doing things again without them so no surprises or hard feelings. </p>