John's Hopkins Application Supplement help

College Essays
1

<p>Hi, for the JHU supplement they want to know something about you that isn’t on the application. My guidance counselor who is a genius in college admissions told me to talk about my hobby of studying insects, because it is “quirky” and that it “seperates me” and I am afraid it will seperate me, but not in a good way. They might think i am weird. I am a smart student and all, but this essay needs to be right. She told me it can NOT be anything on the application.</p>

<p>Here it is.</p>

<p>Entomology, the study of insects, plays a unique role in my life. Studying insects—taxonomy, diet, habitat, evolution, reproduction, defense, and socialization—has been one of my unpublicized, primary hobbies; my enthusiasm could label me as an entomophile. To my misfortune, I suffer from a condition which prevents me from ever being able to confront insects in person, entomophobia. That is right. I have the intense fear to physically accompany the creatures I am deeply intrigued with. The Periplaneta americana, the American cockroach, is one of the most complex, beautiful specimens I have ever observed on the internet; at the same time, the Periplaneta americana living in my garage are of the most foul, repulsive vermin I have ever laid eyes on. Another of my fascinations in entomology is the metamorphosis and nymph growth cycles. These are quite comparable to human psychological developments: some children and adolescents experience very miniscule changes to their mentality and embody an adult’s mentality at a young age (nymph), while other youths significantly advance psychologically, for better or worse, until one would not recognize them in adulthood (analogous to the metamorphosis of egg, larva, pupa, adult). My favorite insect would be Gryllus assimilis, the field cricket, because it and I both are tall, musical creatures that work late at night. The source of my phenomenological bipolarity towards insects is a mystery to me; until I overcome my phobia, I will entertain myself with arthropods, like the visually appealing hermit crab, rather than the appalling roach. </p>

<p>I know I’m weird, no need to tell me that lol. I want to study premed w/ economics.</p>

2

<p>For what it’s worth, I love it.</p>

3

<p>Thanks! i edited it a couple of times.</p>

4

<p>Not sure if that’d be the best essay to show a pre-med/econ major’s potential…but I do like the idea of picking something extra unusual and quirky.</p>

5

<p>Do NOT post essays !</p>

6

<p>I’m sorry, by the way this has nothing to do with majors or academics. It simply asks for something about yourself.</p>

7

<p>I think this is a great essay to submit to colleges! It’s so different and if I were an adcom, I would definitely accept you! </p>

<p>Colleges don’t get many students who love to study bugs as you do</p>

8

<p>In sentence #1, change ‘socialization’ to ‘social structure’.</p>

<p>In the first mention of P.a., take out the ‘The’.</p>

<p>Italicize all scientific names.</p>

<p>In talking about complete and incomplete metamorphosis, use ‘are’, not ‘is’.</p>

<p>Say ‘other arthropods’, as insects are arthropods too.</p>

<p>[note my user name]</p>

9

<p>No one says, “That is right” - “That’s right” is more natural.</p>

<p>“unpublicized” - maybe “secret”?</p>

<p>“condition which” - “condition that”</p>

<p>“the intense fear to physically accompany” - “an intense fear of physically accompanying”</p>

<p>“I am deeply intrigued with” - “by which I am deeply intrigued”</p>

<p>“are of the most” - “are the most” or “are some of the most”</p>

<p>“person, entomophobia” - change the comma to a colon.</p>

<p>“favorite insect would be” - “would be” should be “is”</p>

<p>“phenomenological bipolarity” - who what huh? Not every admissions officer would understand what this means.</p>