<p>While we still need to hear what the teacher is angry about…she surely didn’t say at that first interchange side by side when they pulled into school…“D! I am so upset, you could have gotten into an accident and gotten hurt!” From the description, it sounded like she was ANGRY at the D. But we do need to hear more.</p>
<p>NSM…I cross posted with you but agree that if there is something inappropriate in the meeting with the teacher, then the next step is to speak with the principal. But I was saying earlier that I don’t see the GC as “above” the teacher or skipping over the teacher, but simply that the D went to the GC for support as to what to do or maybe even what to say, but not to “tell on the teacher.” He/she is a counselor, not an authority over the teacher. </p>
<p>I do agree with you that there COULD be a plausible explanation for the teacher to have been upset and we need more information. It just APPEARS that the teacher was angry at the D, but perhaps that is just her perception of it. It didn’t sound like she was worried. But I wasn’t there and we have too little to go on so far.</p>
<p>EVEN if the teacher did something dangerous while driving, the teachers demanding on a ON SCHOOL property using her position as a teacher, my Ds teacher at that, to force that discussion</p>
<p>And D went to counselor because she was afraid of this teacher and the way the teacher acted and was crying, so she needed to calm down and pull herself together, a very smart move</p>
<p>And I too have said things to kids for doing something dangerous, but did I pull them into my office></p>
<p>THis was NOT school time…if this had happened on a weekend, would the teacher have the right to call my kid in on a monday to talk about her driving? </p>
<p>And what power does this teacher have to call in a student for not being a perfect driver, in HER eyes?</p>
<p>Zero</p>
<p>cgm, I’m a bit confused. You’ve already apparently decided that this was weird, inappropriate, wrong, the teacher acted without authority, etc. You seem adamant in your decision. You’re now arguing with anyone who may disagree with you, however slightly, or who is telling you to calm down and act perhaps a little less intensely.</p>
<p>If you didn’t want other opinions, why did you post this?</p>
<p>Don’t go off half-cocked. In this case, you’re not even a quarter-cocked yet. I also point out that in the era before cell phones, you wouldn’t even know about this until it was all over.</p>
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<p>Probably because of the whole turning-towards-supportive-unit-in-time-of-potential-crisis thing. CC’s a great safe place to band together against the oddities of the universe.</p>
<p>CGM, I’m sure it’ll all turn out to be a big misunderstanding. I remember that it was the worst feeling in the world when I thought teachers were mad at me, but it always ultimately turned out to be not as big of a deal as I’d thought. Hugs to your daughter, and to you.</p>
<p>In 1978 I called my mom from a school payphone about an upsetting situation. She was able to call the school and have it resolved before I got home. CGM stay calm, but at the same time you should call the GC to make sure she will attend this meeting. Don’t let it turn into a he said, she said situation.</p>
<p>Well, D just got home</p>
<p>At recess the teacher told her she was going to give D detention for 2 days for the driving “incident”- for not taking turns “right”, or whatever the teacher thought D did wrong</p>
<p>My D said, you can’t give me detention for that, I didn’t do anything wrong, and it wasn’t at school, and you are saying I did something wrong, what exactly was it you think I did, and what does that have to do with school? And how can you prove I did anything? I took my fair turn. (D probably was a bit, well, peeved during this conversation, but I would have been as well)</p>
<p>The teacher said, I can take you to the dean right now…</p>
<p>And my D said, okay lets go, works for me</p>
<p>The teacher then said you have been warned…(D had no problem with going to Dean to discuss this punishment)</p>
<p>THen when class came around, teacher was “normal”</p>
<p>I am going to report this to the GC, just to have it on record, so that if the teacher retaliates another way, there is something on paper</p>
<p>This is not normal</p>
<p>Yes sometimes kids get in trouble for wild parties, drinking, etc., but this was an incident of "taking turns’ at a 4 way stop, something the teacher admitted was the reason for the detention</p>
<p>Bizarre</p>
<p>So what was it the teacher thought your daughter did? I am still very unclear on that. Did they go to the Dean?</p>
<p>ps GC did not attend meeting, though I think she should have, D did not push the issue, she is the kind who likes to handle it herself, but I have told her sometimes its better to have an “advocate” with you when dealing with something this wacky</p>
<p>They were at a four way stop. Teacher said that D went out of turn through the intersection, that D went when it was the teacher’s turn. D said she waited her turn. And didn’t even know it was the teacher until she pulled up to her at school and yelled at her and demanded a meeting.</p>
<p>No the teacher didn’t take her to the dean, though D would have been very happy to go see him, because she knew she was in the right.</p>
<p>Called the teacher’s bluff as it were.</p>
<p>Maybe it is a new driving rule we have not learned about - take your turn unless it is one of your teachers then they get to go first.</p>
<p>Teacher sounds like she was having a really bad day and was out of line. I hope your daughter won’t have her again!</p>
<p>HaHa- Reminds me of the time in Dallas when one of my co-workers was REALLY frustrated at being behind a car that was CRAWLING along the road. She finally sat on the horn, swung around the car, flipped the driver the bird, and then sunk down in her seat as she realized it was our new COO from England! Oops.</p>
<p>Funny - in England we use a two finger salute - but I am sure the COO got the message anyway!</p>
<p>Call the guidance counselor and discuss this meeting. The GC should have been there. I think your d is at risk for retaliation via her grades. Have the GC put this incident on record.</p>
<p>I an going to tomorrow. And if this has happened with other students this kind of irratic behaviour, a pattern might emerge.</p>
<p>I know it seems unbelievable, but what can I say.</p>
<p>We have had kids get suspended or expelled for off campus activities- beating someone up, drinking parties, etc., but there is a process, it comes from the dean, the parents are called it, etc, so I understnad the idea of a private school have that kind of “reach”…but in this case it was a teacher who felt a student had “taken her turn” at an intersection and wanted to punish the student with detentions, something that goes on the record</p>
<p>It would be like giving her detention for cutting in line at the movies, or having 13 items in the 10 item lane at the store. </p>
<p>D did not roll the stop either. And it was a judgement call on the teacher’s part if D took her turn</p>
<p>I just worry about a teacher who gets so angry about something that happens to everyone driving, who follows her to school, yells at her, demands a meeting, then threatans D.</p>
<p>I love teachers, so this is not “teacher” bashing, it is “adult” with road rage bashing using the powers of her job to wield punishment</p>
<p>Seriously - she was trying to give her a detention? I missed that post. That is ridiculous.</p>
<p>I agree you need to have something on record.</p>
<p>I definitely would go in and report this. I would fear retaliation. The teacher was very out of line in my opinion. It doesn’t even sound like your D did something wrong at the intersection and even if she did (which is open to debate), this has NOTHING to do with school and there should be NO school punishment meated out for this. The teacher is wielding her power over your D as she is in an authoritative position and is abusing those powers. Had she not liked that someone else at an intersection took her “turn” as she believed it to be, she would not be able to “punish” that person. Your D should not have detention or anything on her disciiplinary record for this. If the teacher felt your D broke a law (doesn’t seem that she is claiming that or that your D did that), she can take it up with the police and get witnesses. </p>
<p>The teacher also sounds threatening because she said, “I can take you to the dean” as a way of getting her way, but then backed down as she must have realized that would not be too great. But she used it as a threat because she COULD because she is in a position of authority over your D at SCHOOL, but she is not in a position of authority as two drivers on the road. I see a big problem with her abusing her powers here. </p>
<p>I would surely talk to someone at school and put that in writing.</p>
<p>This should be reported to the dean or principal, rather (or in addition to) the guidance counselor. The teacher’s behavior and threat of detention were seriously out of line.</p>