<p>I am quoting myself twice here, but I still laugh when I think of it:</p>
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<p>Several phone calls a day doesn’t seem unusual to me at all!
(Maybe because I live in the middle of Silicon Valley?)
Quick calls or texts are the norm, for making arrangements or checking on how things went.</p>
<p>siliconvalleymom, cell phones do not work where I live and so no quick texts from my kids! ;-(</p>
<p>"I called my Mommy, “Mommy” 'till the day she died. "</p>
<p>I confirmed my Mom was dead by saying “I love you, Mommy.” When she made no effort to say “I love you back,” I knew she had died. That had never happened before in my life, and I kind of felt as if I said “I love you, Mommy” she would be forced to come back to life to respond. </p>
<p>glido: My S and I used to eat at my Mom’s house every Wednesday, and I remember once I was in a real hurry and left as soon as we were done eating. She said “Gee, talk about a doctor’s house call” (I’m a dentist,) but I left anyway. I always remember I left, and feel terrible about it, but I can’t remember what the heck I left for. What I wouldn’t give to sit around the table with her one more time…</p>
<p>…great, now I’m crying. :(</p>
<p>So was I, by the time I was done writing.</p>
<p>I have one D that just started med school in our city but lives 40 miles away, and the other D is a soph undergrad at adjacent state U. 110 miles away. They both call at least every other day, sometimes multiple times daily, no pattern really (except less during finals), but there are two common threads: 1) they’re most always doing something else–driving, walking, eating, and 2) it’s usually to vent about something or to seek advice, which I don’t mind telling you is pretty cool. </p>
<p>D2 called early this AM asking how to handle a housemate taking her brownie mix that was on a shelf in the kitchen of their house, making brownies & a mess at the same time. As she came out of the dorm last year, this is her first foray into intrapersonal house dynamics. I told her to be diplomatic but firm, but also to remember “you have to live with these people, and it’s just a box of brownies.”</p>
<p>I certainly don’t mind the calls, and neither does my wife. Conversely, since we know they’re busy, we will simply text asking a specific question or a quick reminder. Rarely a call unless it’s something that’s really time-sensitive.</p>
<p>A whole different world than me calling my folks once a week from the phone booth in my fraternity house on Sunday night when the rates were low!</p>
<p>“…great, now I’m crying.”</p>
<p>Jeez, me too!</p>
<p>D1 calls every day when she is in the states (currently overseas, but we link up via online chat once or twice a day – just watch for each other online). Someone asked what we talk about if we talk every day. I think it is the little day to day stuff that you are up on in each other’s lives that make it easy to talk once or twice a day. Today we talked about her security clearance form for her upcoming internship, her sister’s fencing lessons (new activity), who her new friends are in her new city, whether she is finding one of her classes that she had limited background in difficult, the evil ■■■■■ in the language department at her university who has made it very difficult for her to register for a language class, and how cute her former boss’s little brother is on the blog pictures from his wedding in a foreign country :)</p>
<p>When she first went to college I think she started calling every day because she wanted to “keep me company” (I cried when I dropped her off, which I think she did not expect!). But it goes both ways – I know she was lonely when I left her in her studio apartment in a foreign city with no friends two weeks ago (she cried when I left her!). So I try to make sure I give her a daily dose of love from her mom, and I think she has REALLY appreciated it.</p>
<p>We just took my daughter to college yesterday. So far, I’ve resisted getting in touch with her at all. I’ve been kind of an “annoyance” to her this past year, between college apps., deadline reminders, dorm supplies, you-name-it—she was sick of hearing me talk about COLLEGE, COLLEGE, COLLEGE! I honestly think it didn’t help our relationship in the past several months. :(</p>
<p>I stayed until 5:30 last evening and then drove the 2½+ hours home. My husband had left a couple hours earlier. I wanted to attend a parents’ meeting in her residence hall and buy some souvenirs at the bookstore. One last peek at her dorm room that I had helped decorate, and she was glad to finally see me leave! 
I bet her roommate was, too.</p>
<p>And, I haven’t as much as texted her since! I’m very proud of myself, I must say. She was attending a birthday party on campus for a boy she met at a local bonfire someone put on for new Cal Poly students in the area. I have to admit, after hearing how strict they are about on-campus drinking, I had my fears about this boy’s 18th birthday party. And, since the school isn’t allowed to notify parents because of FERPA, I would never know if my child had a write-up. I fully don’t expect something like that, but college is different than h.s. A student is expected to be able to “police” themself and their actions much more so than in high school. </p>
<p>We’re going to do an ooVoo or Skype chat every Sunday if we can. My husband is in LOVE with that mode of communication! So, that should be fun!</p>
<p>All 3 of my daughters still call me “Mommy” and I have to admit, it kind of drives me crazy. My twins are 34 and the youngest just turned 18. They also call their father, “Daddy”. On paper, they write “Mama”. But never “Mom”. I cannot figure out why!!</p>
<p>**AllThisIsNewToMe wrote:</p>
<p>Posts: 447 I smiled that she still calls you “Mommy”. I know several adults who call their Dad’s Daddy, but none that still use “Mommy”…so cute.**</p>
<p>I was not sure I would survive my daughter’s move to college thousands of miles away. It would suck the breath out of me to even think about it. We have been so close especially since her brothers are 10 and 12 years older. Suprisingly, it has not been that bad. We generally text every day about something specific…and most of the time she texts first. Every now and then I text her a “good luck” on a specific project or class or tell her to have fun at a specific event…we talk a couple of times a week, and again I try to let her call me. She added me on Facebook so I can keep up a little that way, but I am not allowed to comment! We skype on Sundays and skype is my new best friend. Those chats, where I can see her and see first-hand how well she is doing, are priceless. I think the video chats are what make the biggest difference. I can SEE her and know she’s in the right place. I highly recommended it!</p>
<p>Yes, Skype seems like something out of “The Jetsons,” doesn’t it?</p>
<p>jnm: your post reminded me of various calls my kids have had such as younger D (age 21) calling like five times in one hour when she was having a little dinner party for her boyfriend and another couple and she called about the menu, then a couple times from the supermarket and then a couple times while she was cooking it and needing to know what to do. This doesn’t happen often but my husband and I were laughing by the fifth ring of the phone in an hour. She truly conducts herself professionally without any of our help in very responsible positions and jobs but stuff like this, she was totally lost. </p>
<p>As far as Skype, we did not use it with our girls in college. However, D1 is now overseas for a full year (has gone before for summers or a semester) and so I got Skype and I really do love doing it with her. The main reason was that it is for free and we don’t use up minutes on the phone too often which would add up quickly given we speak every couple of days or so. But I love being able to SEE her. I don’t Skype with my other D, but continue using phone and email (I can’t text from where I live).</p>
<p>My son and I meet once a week, sometimes less (than once a week). If I call him more than once a week, he does get irritable. But when we do meet, we have a good time. Usually it is on Friday evening to catch dinner and a movie.</p>
<p>PS - Son has graduated college and is 24. He is in grad school now but in NYC where I work.</p>
<p>2Leashes-I’m pretty sure the student can waive his/her rights under FERPA. My daughter did this at my “suggestion.”</p>
<p>Oldfort, what’s so egregious about your d’s roomate requesting a load of laundry and giving your d the money to do it? I don’t get it.</p>
<p>^^You’re kidding, right?</p>
<p>My daughter is now on the phone with her younger sister who went upstairs so I couldn’t “disturb” them. It’s been about 1/2 hour with no end in sight. Wouldn’t mind so much except I need to make a few phone calls, oh well. At least older daughter talks to someone!</p>
<p>psych_ - I can´t imagine doing anyone´s laundry, except for my own family. It was a very big deal when I did my H´s laundry for the first time.</p>
<p>Our two girls still call us Mommy and Daddy, but they refer to us as Mother and Dad (my Mother, and my Dad).</p>