<p>S2 suggested to <em>us</em> that we get Skype. !!! He has been txting and IMing, and calls when there is exciting news or has a question about handle something. I do know not to call him during football games, though. :)</p>
<p>With S1, it’s like pulling teeth to get a call from him.</p>
<p>I tend not to call my kids due to their busy lives and getting them at inconvenient times and so generally wait for them to call us, and thankfully they do regularly. In fact, I am am dying to get call from D2 in a short while (I hope) as she promised to tell us about new job today which isn’t quite over yet. She often calls while walking (lives in NYC).</p>
<p>H and I just got back from launching D at Cal Poly. </p>
<p>We started out Sunday mid morning and had a leisurely drive to SLO. Stopped for lunch at a little place where we’d eaten on our last trip down this stretch of highway. At that time the four of us were heading to what would be our last Easter / Spring break cruise as a family. Teared up a bit but just kept the dark glasses on for a while longer.</p>
<p>SLO has one of the largest Forever 21 Store’s anywhere. D had made me promise we’d check it out upon arrival. So we left (a relieved) H at the hotel and headed out. Boy, if you ever want to feel old, go to one of these stores! D found a few items and it was so nice to spend this one on one time.</p>
<p>Several weeks ago I’d suggested D ask her room mate if she and her family would like to have dinner with us. It would give the girls a chance to meet and us an opportunity to ‘check them out’. The roommate’s family was enthused. When we contacted them in SLO, it turned out they were in a hotel just two doors down from ours. We met at their lobby and I immediately felt a rush of relief. They are such nice and easygoing people. Our daughters seemed to be at ease with each other quickly. We all piled into our car and had dinner at a great place with a view of the ocean. It was a comfortable and calming evening. </p>
<p>Move in day started at 8:00 a.m. The whole process was well organized and managed. D and I went through the paperwork and line standing processes while H lugged stuffage from car to room (hmmm, I think that worked out better for some of the parties involved). The dorm room was actually a pleasant surprise. From the online pictures it looked like a long cinderblock shoebox with a jailhouse sized window at one end. Well, it is a longish room and part of the walls still show their cinderblock heritage but the window is huge and they have a fantastic view of the mountains. It took a bit of work to figure out the best furniture configuration. Obviously at time of construction the need for electrical outlets, Ethernet connections, and general technology support was a bit different. But, with judicious furniture placement, the use of extension cords, duct tape and double-sided sticky tape, both young ladies were brought into the modern age. Much to D’s surprise and relief the closet was much, much bigger than pictured. So much so that there was empty space after all was put in place!</p>
<p>By this point everyone was hungry and the students would not meet (and be fed) until later that evening. We headed into town for lunch and to pick-up a few items. Afterwards H and I attended a parent meeting back on campus. Then it was time for good-bye. Although I had been crying on and off for the past weeks, the energy of the move in, the excitement of D and the relief with the roomie made for a dry eyed quick hug and kiss goodbye. H and I drove off.</p>
<p>We were about 10 miles out of town on our way to dinner when D called. Her backup drive was not working. D has many life skills, and is capable in ways beyond her years. However, computer technology is not her strong point. Having had a system crash and spending $1200.00 myself recently to recover data, H and I turned around and went back to campus. </p>
<p>We found D sitting in her room with several other young ladies. They had all attended the sorority rush meeting and were discussing options. She looked tired but at ease. The disc fix was quick and simple. We hugged and left.</p>
<p>On the way back to dinner H commented that D would probably really like one of those backrest cushions with the arm rests. He thought she looked uncomfortable sitting on the bed and the walls are cold and hard. A quick text question to D regarding the matter received a response of ‘oh yes please that would be great’. We arranged to drop it off the next morning on our way home. She came out to meet us, gave us each a hug and returned to her new home. She looked good.</p>
<p>So here I sit, back in my office, which is next door to her bedroom. Okay, the physical absence I get – it is boolean, it is binary, it is like a light switch, on/off; here/not here. The other part, the essence of D is all around. This is more like a sunset. The change will be gradual, sometimes so incrementally small that it goes unnoticed, until at one point you realized it has become dark, the essence is gone. In a few days when the house gets it’s regularly scheduled cleaning, the small whiffs of floral body wash and shampoo will disappear from the bathroom. This time, they will not be replaced. The random shoes and clothing will make its way to her empty room. The cat will sleep elsewhere and the granola and Cheerios will go stale. The laundry won’t have ‘delicates’ and the random calls of ‘Mama’ won’t echo in the halls.</p>
<p>But then again, I’ve received a few texts already. The freshman were out exploring the campus and most were just plain lost trying to get back to their dorms. She ‘thanked’ me for her inherited lack of a sense of direction. She is on her way to becoming our adult D, H and I are on the way to becoming her friends and mentors. Somehow it will all work out.</p>
<p>Williamsdad: I know what you mean. </p>
<p>All of you moms: Call your sons whenever you want. You deserve it. You’ve earned it.</p>
<p>It’s a rare day when S1 doesn’t call home. He just likes to chat about little stuff. Even though he’s across the country I always feel like I know what is going on in his life. S2, who is a HS senior, has already said not to expect him to call like that! When he was gone this summer, he called fairly often at first while a trifle homesick, but once he made friends it was a different story.</p>
<p>williamsdad, ((hugs)) to you.</p>
<p>OOPS… . I posted the launch story to the wrong thread. Can I claim post launch brain?</p>
<p>No, I’m not. The idea of giving someone a bag of laundry and money and asking them to pop in a load doesn’t seem insane at all. I’ve never done it, but if I could and someone asked, I wouldn’t balk.Cultural differences, I guess. <em>shrug</em></p>
<p>Diet - very enjoyable, and sure, go ahead and post it somewhere else also! :)</p>
<p>I posted in #42 that I was dying to receive D2’s call around dinner time and it was worth the wait. I love these kind of calls. She was totally on the run to the next thing she was in but not only did this new exciting job go great today (she was nervous about it as it was a big deal) but she received very exciting news that she was selected for something significant. Sorry to be vague as I don’t want to identify her but I’ll take these types of calls any day any hour. I love them and have gotten a few lately of this type. :)</p>
<p>soozievt - congrats to you and D2 (whatever it is!)</p>
<p>Congrats, soozievt. When I know my kids are waiting or doing something exciting, my stomach just turns at that appointed time until I hear.</p>
<p>oldfort, that’s true. But the exciting part of her call wasn’t anything I knew was going to happen. Those calls are even more fun when unexpected news occurs!</p>
<p>My D has always called me Mama. I kind of expected it to shift to Mom as she got older, but it never did. I do like it.</p>
<p>We are HUGE phone talkers, and I wouldn’t be surprised if she calls/texts/emails/im’s me numerous times a day next year when she goes.</p>
<p>Come to think of it, I’ve talked to my 83-year old mother 3 times today…must be hereditary (and also, I suspect, a girl thing).</p>
<p>My D has been gone 3 weeks now at college. There were a few texts but not many. After about 5 days I texted her that she needed to find a convenient time to talk to us on the phone. The next week, after about 5 or 6 days, I texted her and told her to pick a time the next day to talk. I mentioned that she would need to talk to us about once a week. Even if she does not need that, I do! So that is what we do now. Every week I send her a text and ask her to pick a time in the next day or so that is convenient for her to get our call. I think it is reasonable to expect her to talk to us once a week. By texting her first, I give her the chance to decide when is a time that does not catch her in the middle of something. This past weekend we Skyped for the first time. It was a lot of fun - and was more like a conversation - she shared more about what she was up to. It was really nice. I think she likes to talk with us but at the same time is busy with school and new people and is still getting acclimated. I am fine with all of this and the fact that she is making decisions herself and finding her way. But at the same time, I want her to feel and stay connected to us. I think the way to accomplish this is different for each family. At our end, so far, so good (not that I wouldn’t love to talk to her more frequently. . .;))</p>
<p>Congrats, soozievt! :)</p>
<p>Originally posted by dietz199:</p>
<p>“So here I sit, back in my office, which is next door to her bedroom. Okay, the physical absence I get – it is boolean, it is binary, it is like a light switch, on/off; here/not here. The other part, the essence of D is all around. This is more like a sunset. The change will be gradual, sometimes so incrementally small that it goes unnoticed, until at one point you realized it has become dark, the essence is gone. In a few days when the house gets it’s regularly scheduled cleaning, the small whiffs of floral body wash and shampoo will disappear from the bathroom. This time, they will not be replaced. The random shoes and clothing will make its way to her empty room. The cat will sleep elsewhere and the granola and Cheerios will go stale. The laundry won’t have ‘delicates’ and the random calls of ‘Mama’ won’t echo in the halls.”</p>
<p>Wow, dietz, that’s beautiful!!! Are you an author?</p>
<p>originally posted by glido:</p>
<p>“All of you moms: Call your sons whenever you want. You deserve it. You’ve earned it.”</p>
<p>The first time I saw my mother as a patient I jokingly told my secretary to “be sure the lady received a 2% discount.” My mother turned to me and said “I already paid everything way in advance, many times over.” She was absolutely right.</p>
<p>I talk to my DD who is overseas with the Peace Corps way more than I talk to the other two. She is usually online and we chat via AIM during the afternoon (her night time). The other two are too busy, lol. I haven’t heard from my freshman at all in 3 days and she only called then to talk about sorority rush. I texted a money question to my senior and she texted an answer, but that is it. They tend to both call the same day, so I bet tomorrow is the day.</p>
<p>My son has 4 names: Doug, Dougie, Bug, and Buggy. In 7th grade he asked me to only call him Doug because he had outgrown the others. I was 
but I tried. I really tried. And I failed. Over the next 5.5 years I’d slip-up from time to time and use one of his “cute” names. </p>
<p>The last time it happened was at the dorm on move-in day. It was something benign like, “hey Buggy pass me that empty box.” Recognizing my error, I apologized immediately, confessing that I picked a very bad time to make my Mom mistake. He said, “it’s OK, Mommy. I kinda like it today.” It had been 10 years since he called me Mommy.</p>
<p>So then I cried.</p>
<p>Have only heard from S two times in 3 weeks without prodding (ie. multiple txts). He called today to tell me he had just ordered some tools on-line and spent quite a bit of money. He didn’t call to ask if he could. He called to tell me that he already had. A bit fearfullly, I asked how much money, and he said $200. I told him, “Geez, you scared me. That’s not even a regular reed order.” </p>
<p>I have found that when S2 calls unprodded, he tends to have a lot more to say. S1, on the other hand, usually only calls when something has happened (usually not good), so I always answer his calls with a bit of anxiety.</p>