Well, even if he ends up at Rutgers, the better he does now, the better shot he has of being admitted to their honors program which will improve his life there. Slacking off may cost him money too, as Rutgers used to have a sliding price scale such that the higher the GPA and SAT, the less the student pays. Not sure if this is still in place, but worth looking into. I do know for sure that top students could earn a free ride due to merit aid. From their website:
"The most prestigious scholarship award Rutgers offers to undergraduates. Students who receive this award are admitted to the new Honors College at Rutgers University-New Brunswick and must participate to receive the award.
$25,600 per year, including a $11,700 credit for on-campus housing and dining. Renewable.
Only the top 1-2% of admitted students are offered this award."
If dad has a good job now, is it possible that the best thing to do is to apply to Duke this coming year and if he does get in, take a gap year? With 2 years of dad’s salary and a year of S working before S enters college, the family finances might be in better shape. The other thing they might do is tell him how much they will pay, and let him try to come up with the rest.
Two of my neighbors have done/are going to do ROTC to be able to go to their dream schools. Neither family was wild about the idea. One mom, in retrospect, says it’s the best decision her S ever made. Both young men figured out on their own that ROTC made attending their dream school feasilble.
Now, I’m not suggesting everyone can or should do ROTC. I’m just suggesting that instead of saying “no Duke” the parents say how much they can pay and let the kid try to figure it out for himself. A year of Americorps might work, for example.
It seems that his main objection to Rutgers is that it’s instate, not that it isn’t a good school. His objection may be that too many from HS will be there.
So, once you tell us his test scores, etc, his major, his career goal, and how much the family WILL pay each year, then we can help create a good list.
Before working on “a list”, try work to come up with a new game plan for the kid so he’s excited about his future again! I agree with jonri’s suggestion and would take a step further. I would thoroughly research the college cost and the family’s earning outlook for the next few years, and lay out different possible scenarios to the kid. Now that you have “broke the news” and disclosed your financial situation to him, why not treat him more like an adult and have him be part of the decision? Explain how much you could pay, and what financial sacrifices the family could and could not realistically make (After all, if you are not qualified for FA, it means you do have the level of income to pay.). Then help come up with ideas on where the rest could come from. Options of loans, merit-aid, state schools coupled with options for major choices and job prospects can all be discussed and explored. When a new plan comes out of the discussion, whether it’s elite school with loans and work-study, school with merit-aid or cheaper in-state school…, as long as the kid is onboard with it, he may find his direction again and get back his motivation.
Son: meet reality. Reality: meet son. My family is smack in the middle of the middle class and our DDs had to accept that some choices were financially out of reach. Son needs to learn what it means to be resilient and a bit of gratitude that he does have options – however unappealing they may seem today – wouldn’t hurt either. After reading the OP’s post, I had a vision of my Sicilian mother smacking him upside his entitled head. Then she’d smack the parents for not having “the talk” sooner.
My daughter got into her ‘dream’ schools but the financials didn’t work out as we’d hoped, making it too big a financial stretch. Believe me, I thought I’d done the homework…thought I knew what to expect…but it just didn’t work out that way, even with merit aid. It was VERY painful to have to turn down the dream, but now…getting ready to head into college in the fall, my D is seeing the benefit of going to the state school she ‘ended up’ with. She is getting a very nice scholarship, getting the benefits of the honors college, getting her choice of dorm, won’t have financial restrictions on other opportunities (trips/internships),…and since we’d already budgeted for the in-state costs, she gets to keep the scholarship money, so, from her perspective, she is getting paid to go to college.
If he truly doesn’t want to be in the AP classes, then perhaps it will be fine for him to ease up…less stress can be a great thing, but if those classes are the right fit for him…hopefully he will see that there are still many opportunities out there. Consider also the out of state schools that might offer scholarships or in-state tuition for strong students.
He has a 2080 on his SAT - I need to check with her on the breakdown. He has a 3.7 unweighted. His school’s grading system is a bit odd because there are no minus grades, only plus grades. I don’t know where he ranks or if they rank. Not sure he knows what he wants to major in. I did suggest Tulane - not sure he wants to be that far from home. I know he won’t consider California. (At any rate, the airfare becomes another expense.) My sister thinks they can swing about $15k, $20k if they are very lucky, but are thinking that my nephew would take out a Perkins loan every year to get to full COA at Rutgers. So I guess they are thinking that they could stretch it to $19k or so the first year and the Perkins would get him to $25k. They don’t want him to take out more than a Perkins every year and I think are hoping he can earn some money at a summer job so he doesn’t even have to take the full Perkins.
Perkins Loans are need based financial aid awarded by the colleges to low income students. What makes them think they will qualify for a Perkins Loan if they won’t qualify for need based aid. They won’t.
As a freshman, however, the student can take a $5500 Direct Loan if the family completes,the fafsa. Do you mean Direct Loans…not Perkins?
What about the SUNY schools? Would he qualify for merit aid at Temple? What about University of Delaware?
Oh sorry, I meant the Stafford loan…the $5.500 one you get for filing the FAFSA regardless of need - got my loans mixed up.
I think his lack of motivation would be the same whether we are talking about Rutgers or a SUNY or U Delaware. (Do the OOS publics offer merit? I had the impression that publics don’t usually.) I think he is just sad about his situation. I don’t think he wants a city campus so no Temple, but thanks for the suggestion!
Look, if he’s really determined and he can commute to NYC, he would take and do well enough on AP tests to be able to get a year (or more)'s worth of college credit. Then he could go to NYU or Columbia GS part-time (may only apply to Columbia GS after a year after HS, though) and graduate in 5-6 years even while taking only a half-load of classes each term (and living at home). Definitely could work at least part-time as well.
This would be a plan for a kid who’s really determined, though. Not sure that giving up after the first bit of negative news is a good sign.
He is very close to getting 5.5k merit from Rutgers. His SAT/GPA may not be enough for getting a sizable scholarship from a decent private. Maybe he has to retake SAT or try ACT. Rutgers is generous with AP credits so it would be silly not to take advantage.
While back my son was offered a half-COA merit scholarship by American so merit money should be available there.
Too big a chance to take a year off and hope that Columbia GS would let him in. That’s a very creative solution though! Wow, McGill is very cheap! Will bring it up.
I think part (but only part) of his issue with the state schools is that they are very big. Not that Duke is small, but it’s less than half the size of Rutgers…and McGill. There are other state schools in New Jersey, but they are much lower ranked.
You need to get the kid involved so he can see one or more schools he’s excited to attend. Frankly, a scholarship at Rutgers may not interest him at all because it wouldn’t change the fact that he’s going to a school he does not feel proud of. Entitled? Maybe. But you need to work with your teenager “in time”, and a label or a smack may not do the work! Eventually, he may not find a school he’s as excited about but you should help him to find a goal that motivates him to continue working hard. Slacking off could be just the beginning of a big problem on the horizon. It’s an easy ride going downhill.
Also, if he does well, schools like Case and Rochester (as well as LACs like Macalester) will give merit money. Possibly enough to be affordable. But he has to do well.
I agree with mjrube94, what about The College of New Jersey? Its SAT scores are higher than Rutgers, its admit rate is lower & yield better. The net cost (to judge from College Navigator) is about the same as Rutgers.
