Kid has stopped trying in response to limited college options

Parents Forum
121

If the son can accept to take the ACT in September, and the SAT in October, with just a couple more points (2080 to 2100), it’d unlock a LOT of possibilities for him.
For instance, he would be able to apply to UConn or UMD-College Park for one of the competitive scholarships, as well as to UAlabama in Tuscaloosa for automatic full tuition scholarship, honors dorm, honors program, and quite a few other perks. (Check out a thread in the UAlabama forum titled “schools my child passed on in order to attend UA”). Those would likely make him happier than Rutgers.
In-state, TCNJ is in some ways better than Rutgers. In NYS, look into Geneseo. Colleges such as St Lawrence or Muhlenberg would likely give him merit, too - not sure whether it’d be enough but it sure is worth it to try. What about Fordham? UMiami is very similar to Duke but much easier to get into.
In short, with just a little more work, he’d have a LOT of good choices.

He should be allowed to apply to Duke, with the provision that if he gets in and the cost is above budget, he’ll walk away from it.

122

In that case, I think the only motivator is to ask him to keep working hard so he could get in the honors college of Rutgers or the honors college of an OOS school with merit based aid (he may have one on his mind that he’d like to attend), noting that while his family’s financial situation makes it infeasible to go to an elite private like Duke his college experience and future opportunities in the honors program will be different than those in the “regular” program. Hopefully that’s what’s needed to get him back on track.

123

UMD’s average accepted freshman stats are now 4.03 weighted and 2000+ SAT. Scholarship $$ will be hard to come by at UMD without stronger numbers and/or a good hook. OTOH, there are a LOT of NJ residents at UMD and UDel.

My kids’ HS programs sent a lot of tippy-top kids to UMD, many with big merit awards (those kids turned down top schools to take the free ride), and both my kids got merit $$, so I have some basis for what numbers they want to see.

124

Given the pressure of having a handicapped sibling who needs to stay in the school district puts a whole new dimension into the mix. Since your nephew is an eagle scout and led Key Club (my DD2’s favorite club in HS), would he have any interest in a ROTC scholarship?

I have a colleague whose son received the full tuition scholarship and monthly pay for undergrad and then went immediately to law school with the same scholarship/pay. He graduated from the “I’m a new JAG” program and he just finished airborne school. He’s 26. He’d been to China and Europe before graduating from college (a local LAC).

If memory serves, the military exchanges 1 year of service for 1 year of tuition/pay. There are a lot of careers that dovetail with a start in the armed forces. These scholarships aren’t handed out like candy. It’s competitive. If he’s not anti-military, it can be a great opportunity for smart leader-types and he could go to almost any university in the country.

125

@GossamerWings <<<
I think I said this in one of my other posts, but they think they can afford $15k to $20k per year for my nephew. If he goes to Rutgers and lives on-campus, he would still need the Stafford loan for that.
<<<<

Something seems “off” with this answer, or I’m confused. This thread is long, so I may be misremembering. Isn’t this the family where the dad was unemployed for awhile, much longer than anticipated, the family had to take out a HEL/HELOC, other debt ran up…and now the dad’s re-employed but at half his previous salary. (am I mixing this story up with another?)

Unless the original salary was amazing, and now the 50% is still very high, it would seem like they’re still not going to have much to put towards college. The family has a lower income, and this additional debt on top of whatever mortgage they originally had, plus NJ property taxes, so I would think it would be very difficult for this family to come up with $1500-2000 a month to make 10 month payments on a tuition plan…and do that for 4 years.

If I’m remembering the story correctly, I’m wondering if you were optimistically told that number because the family may be too embarrassed to say otherwise or they “want” to be able to pay that much.

I’ve seen situations like this…main breadwinner out of work for longer than expected, savings disappears, home equity used to pay living expenses, credit card debt increases, then finally a new job but it pays a good-bit less than the previous one. Typically, the family is of course happy that the breadwinner is back employed, but paying out $60k-80k for the next four years of college isn’t in the cards.

But, maybe I’m confusing this story with another, or the dad’s reduced income is still quite high.

Either way, I think you should strongly encourage this family to find 2-3 schools where the merit will be high enough that their net cost will be much less…just in case they realize next spring that they realistically cannot pay $15k-20k per year.

126

^^ I think you got the situation as OP stated correctly. My question is why is the family convinced that they will not be qualified for FA? How much did the father earn before losing his job? And how long was he unemployed? Sorry, didn’t mean to get personal. Just wanted to remind OP to check on the situation more closely so as not to miss possible opportunities as maybe they will be able to get substantial FA is the kid can get in? Especially if he could get in HYP type of school. It’s a Long shot of course but it’s a long shot to a lot of people. And THAT would be motivator!

127

<<<
My question is why is the family convinced that they will not be qualified for FA? How much did the father earn before losing his job? And how long was he unemployed?


[QUOTE=""]

[/QUOTE]

How much he earned before he lost his job won’t matter, I don’t think.

Since it sounds like the dad will be employed for all or nearly all of 2015, the reported income on next year’s FAFSA (and/or CSS Profile) will be the current income…which sounds like is still high enough that the EFC would be more than the family can afford. However, perhaps that should at least let the son apply and find out what the results would be (but first tell him their max budget)

That brings up the question…why aren’t they just allowing him to apply to Duke, just to see if he gets in, and to see if he were to get enough aid? That would at least solve the issue of his “stop trying.”

Anyway, if he was in top level management earning something like $300k+, and he’s now earning $150kish, then they’d still have an unaffordable EFC.

128

This is a case where they should talk to financial aid and submit a letter of special circumstances. FA will take into account their history, debt, lack of savings, at least for a year or two- at many schools, especially top ones. Schools like Harvard give aid to families making $150,000, If they are above that level, then they should be able to pay for something satisfactory.

My problem continues to be that the nephew stopped working without a certain college as his prize. If I were on an admissions committee, I would not admit him on this basis. Not because of a slide in grades, per se, but because he has not been working at school for the right reasons, and because he cannot handle an obstacle. This means poor work ethic, lack of genuine interest, and lack of character.

I am not saying this is who the kid is, but that is the impression from him not working as hard without the prize.

129

We are in a similar situation. Three years of unemployment. Our oldest son will be going to CMU this year. Financially we’ll be able to make it with a 2nd and better than average FA. Our youngest son will be starting his JR year, and the reality is his HS achievements will not get him the steller FA packages from the top universities. So he’s looking at the options. 1) Study for the SAT and score the triple 700’s. 2) Work. He landed a great job working for a 5 star inn/restaurant that will give him hours, good pay and steady work through HS. 3) Gap Year. Learn a trader before going to college. 4) College search will be more tuned to schools that he can get into with great FA, including state schools. 5) What he wants to do in life doesn’t need an Ivy League name tagged to it. Get a trade. Own a business. Work for himself. 6) Instead of a second year of calculus or physics in high school, do something that interest him, like pursuing writing or being an apprentice.

130

The family should contact Financial Aid Services at universities the son is considering. Some will take into account extended unemployment and a disabled child.
And, by any means, he should be allowed to apply to Duke once all his other apps are in.
It’s definitely not Rutgers or CC for him, there are so many good choices, especially if he gets 1400 CR+M!!

131

Shoeshonte, in my family’s experience, your #6 is more important (and more enjoyable) than #1. And don’t forget test optional schools, many of them the most excellent programs anywhere.

CC associate’s and certificate programs are great- especially those in health care areas.

132

@compmom – #6 seems to be an out of the box moment. Advice from parents much wiser than I would cringe if their child passed on a second year of calc or physics and instead took outside course in the arts or writing. He would do well in both topics, but he’s shown no passion for either the math or the sciences. He’s creative in everything he does. #1, studying for the SAT, is to get it over with so he can do what he wants as a Junior and Senior and not be concerned about test scores and trying to impress college admission reps. He’s the type of kid that says take me as I am, I’m not changing to fit into your mold. He will write a 20 page creative story for a one page assignment, get a “B” because it’s not on topic and too long, and be comfortable with his decision. Why the 20 pages? Because he had a story to tell, and the assignment was boring and uninterested.

On the topic of FA, he’s very aware that it will be difficult for his family to pay what FAFSA says is our EFC. Unfortunately, the “B” in writing may not look good on a transcript, but he’ll find a place that looks beyond the transcript into who he is. Maybe it’s a full-ride athletic scholarship throwing the javelin, or throwing a baseball, or something else. Or, he works for a year, saves up money, and pays his way at the State school.

Point is, there are options, and not every kid needs to go to an Ivy or top 20 school. Most small business owners developed their skills and trades outside of the top 20 schools. And they do what they love to do.

133

Any update?