Kids friends smoking....

Parent Cafe
1

<p>My Ds don’t smoke, that i know for sure, with my sensative nose, I can smell anyone who is smoking, who has been around a smoker, or who has been in a car where someone smoked days ago, I also sort the laundry and I would smell it there…My oldest has come home, and i can smell smoke, because she has been around smokers at a party or something, and please do not think me naive…we spent many a sunday picking up butts in the parks and on the beaches, she is disgusted with smoking, but can’t stop her friends, or their friends…she tells them is gross and disgusting, they laugh…and there you go</p>

<p>But I do wonder about parents who must know, or suspect, or are dealing with a child who is smoking</p>

<p>I found cigarettes in my Ds friend’s (15 years old) purse while checking to see who’s purse was left at my house, I did call the mom, and she said, yeah, we know, we told her to get rid of them, they are not to be in the house, etc, but obviouslly that wasn’t working</p>

<p>As a parent, when you find out your kids smokes, how do you handle it…I know you can’t be with them 24-7, but here are my questions:</p>

<p>How did you find out your kid smoked
What did you do
Did they stop
Do they still hide it from you
Did they tell you why they started
Do they want to quit
How do they get the contraband cigerettes</p>

<p>So, what is the strategy you found works if you found your kid smoking? And what makes these kids start up…</p>

2

<p>My D tried clove cigarettes shortly after we gave her a car to use (she was in college and over 18). She idiotically thought they didn’t have tobacco and were therefore safe. She left a butt in the ashtray. I was astonished at how furious my normally way-too-calm husband was–he really hates the smell of cigarettes! He let her know exactly how appalled he was and I haven’t smelled cigarettes on her or in her car since. (I asked her about it a while ago and she said “I’d never seen Dad like that.”)</p>

3

<p>My kids don’t smoke, but they both tell me MANY of their peers smoked all through high school (and now college). I simply can not understand it. I can understand how my generation thought it was grown-up and cool to smoke, but with all the health information out there now, it just does not make sense to me. I heard a lot of girls smoke for supposed weight control.</p>

<p>There is not a whole lot a parent can do about smoking. It is very easy to obtain the product and while it is technically illegal for a minor to purchase cigs, it isn’t a big crime, and in some circles it is still “the thing to do”. It is pretty easy to hide the habit from parents- as you pointed out, “I smell like smoke because my friends were smoking!”<br>
I think this is something kids have to figure out for themselves. All you can do is educate them. My husband and I are competitive runners and have never smoked. One kid is a vocal performance major and won’t even go to smokey bars, and the other is a runner himself.</p>

4

<p>I think that girls smoke to suppress their appetites and lose weight. One thing to consider, at least, when dealing with a D who smokes.</p>

<p>I personally hate the smell and can sniff it anywhere. Slightly allergic, too. :frowning: I could not touch a cigarette, ever, after seeing my beloved grandmother pass away from smoking-related illnesses. Not so much for the older sis.</p>

<p>It can’t hurt to keep telling young kids that they won’t be young forever and they can’t stop. Appeal to vanity - point out that she’ll have the wrinkles from hell whe she’s 40. Appeal to a “the future is bright” side and point out that he/she might not be around to raise kids. Certainly won’t make it to see the grandkids. Start with this early - by the time they’ve touched a cigarette, it’s too late.</p>

5

<p>We once did a press conference with cigarette butts to talk about litter on the beachs</p>

<p>We took cigs and put them in a bottle of water…it was the grossest thing</p>

<p>We also saved the butts we collected to take to the press conference in a big clear plastic bag</p>

<p>Our car smelled for weeks, and having those bottles around the house just was sooo effective…really</p>

<p>My mom used to smoke and i would walk around putting napkins over the ashtrays…the ickiest was when they would dump the ashtrays into the toilets and all wouldn’t flush down</p>

<p>Why they smoke, I don’t get it</p>

<p>Most of the coolest kids my Ds know are non-smokers, but sometimes the “fun” ones that kids “admire” do smoke</p>

<p>I just don’t understand the appeal and never will</p>

<p>I get angry when I see smoking in a movie that is supposed to 'create" character…to me its lazy</p>

6

<p>The smoking thing has not really taken hold here but my s has many friends who are now dipping chewing tobacco. My s will NOT do it and thinks it is disgusting because… his father, my darling H, is ADDICTED to Copenhagen (as are most of his friends), and has been dipping since he played football at UT. It was obviously the thing to do back then, and for whatever reason, it has become the thing to do now. My H took my S’s friends aside and told them that there was only one thing he regretted in his life: that he ever began dipping tobacco. He described his absolute inability to quit. He has tried cold turkey, hypnosis, even accupuncture, and he is unable to lose the urge. He told them that they may think it is cool now, but when they are 40 and addicted, they will regret it. Two of my s’s friends took it to heart and have quit, the rest are still doing it. I know their parents know that they are doing it, but I guess they think it is just a passing fad. But, it is the most addictive form of tobacco use and they may be setting themselves up for a lifetime of use (and God forbid, cancer).</p>

7

<p>I enjoy about a pinch of skoal a day, picked up the habit in boarding school, was as much as a tin every 3 days but I’ve managed to scale back quite a bit and I plan to quit after college. I know it’s disgusting but I enjoy it and I sometimes use it as a study aid for focus. I smoke the occasional cigarette when I’m drunk but as an athlete it’s never really appealed to me.</p>

8

<p>I was brainstorming with my mom and this would be my strategy if my Kids was smoking</p>

<p>No more money- I am not buying them Cigs</p>

<p>I would not pay for haircuts, make-up, or any new clothes</p>

<p>I would not even buy them laundry detergent to get rid of the smoke smell</p>

<p>If they are “grown-up” enough to smoke, then they would be grown-up enough to pay for everything but food and water</p>

<p>I am very serious</p>

<p>By smoking I mean I have caught them more than just one time…first time is a day of cleaning up cig butts from the neighborhood sidewalks</p>

<p>Picture that, a bunch of teens with gloves picking up cigarette litter on the sidewalks in the city</p>

<p>That would be a site to see</p>

9

<p>Just to be clear, mine are “punishments” per se, its jsut that I don’t wnat to spend my money to get someones haircut when its just going to smell like smoke, I am not going to spend money on clothes that will smell like smoke</p>

<p>Its a very practical reaction</p>

<p>Of course the health issues are not to be ignored, but with teens sometimes it needs to be realllllly personal</p>

<p>i told my D this, and she said it was a good way to handle it, she hates when her friends smoke</p>

<p>i would never carry a smokers drugs either…and if my kid was carrying for someone, almost as bad</p>

<p>I should take the cigs in the purse and toss them, but will leave that up to the girls mom, but I am tempted</p>

10

<p>My S did some smoking during his senior year of h.s. I found the cigarettes and a lighter in his car. He said where he worked everybody smoked on their breaks. I read him the riot act and he promised to quit. When he was home from college last Thanksgiving, I found a store receipt where he had bought cigarettes. I had another “discussion” with him about it and he stopped. I think the thing that really stopped him though was all the strenuous physical exercise required in his NROTC program. He finally got the picture that smoking and a strong body that has to run many miles every week are not compatible.</p>

11

<p>packmom, your name through me for JUST a second ; )</p>

<p>When I met my H, who is Irish, he was a quitting smoker…when we would go out, he would ask for a drag off of someones cigarette about twice a night…if he did, I refused to kiss him, or anything else…blech</p>

<p>He stopped</p>

12

<p>well I’m a kid who occasionally smokes:</p>

<p>How did you find out your kid smoked: my parents havent found out, i’m the last person anyone would suspect smoked. i have a 2390 SAT, president of 3 clubs, blah blah blah yada yada
What did you do: they’d disown me
Did they stop: i don’t smoke very often so it’s easy for me to stop. i will probably gradually quit, not like i smoke every week anyway
Do they still hide it from you: i hide it from the parents, yes
Did they tell you why they started: i started when i was 15
Do they want to quit: i don’t want to quit, it’s very occasional for me, i don’t want to get addicted, i dont have $ or motivation to buy enough cigarettes to addict me
How do they get the contraband cigerettes: friends who are older</p>

<p>it’s very easy to get cigarettes and very easy to get addicted. i don’t love smoking, it’s just a fun pastime once in a long while. i don’t actively seek them and i’ve never smoked more than 3 at a time. smoking is really dangerous so i’m glad i do it very sparingly. that’s why i don’t feel guilty about my parents. i do it because i like it, none of my friends would believe that i smoke so its not an issue of peer pressure. keep telling your daughter to hold onto her values and beliefs about substance use/smoking. seems like she is a sensible girl–she is strong enough to be friends with ppl she likes yet not pick up their bad habits. that’s very admirable…she’s not judgmental but she’s strong enough to hold onto her values. i applaud her. that being said, make sure she doesn’t mistakenly believe that drinking is any safer than cigarettes.</p>

13

<p>I would love for you to post again in a year, and see if you are still the “occasional” smoker</p>

<p>I thank you for your honesty</p>

<p>Still do not and never will get the attraction</p>

<p>Do you smoke alone? Or with other smokers? Are those people you just hang out with when you smoke? Or do you secretly smoke all alone?</p>

<p>Interesting and again I thank you for your honesty…</p>

<p>And yes, my Ds are very balanced people…they have their own minds, and so far, knock on would, the worlds vices haven’t been too attractive for them</p>

<p>Hopefully, they will keep up with their good judgement,</p>

<p>And please stop smoking, ask any smoker, they all started off with just a couple</p>

14

<p>“it’s not like I smoke every week anyway” that really doesn’t even fall under “occasional” use, although the fact that you hide it from your friends is kind of odd, are you that ashamed?</p>

15

<p>Well I have been “smoking” for 2 years, and I have yet to get addicted (I had a cigarette for the first time in a month last week).
The attraction varies…unfortunately I have a lot of friends who started doing it because it was forbidden and alluring, which is terrible. But I have one friend who decided to quit and is on the patch. His friends are still smokers. I personally starting smoking because I was offered a cigar by an older person and wanted to get the experience. I am offered cigarettes occasionally from my friends, which is the only time i smoke them. I dont get much pocket money so I dont waste it on cigarettes. I also dont drink and never have, its too dangerous. Cigarettes kill, no doubt, but they wont put you in a vulnerable mental state.
Im not a social smoker, although I do smoke with friends occasionally. I try to avoid it, it makes me want to smoke more cigarettes at a time which is a bad thing.
I already have decided to quit smoking the day I turn 21. Theres no reason to continue. Adults can have smarter fun in better ways.</p>

<p>edit: i dont hide it from all my friends. i have a lot of very different friends. my best friend knows that i smoke but would never ever do it himself. some friends have no idea and would never guess, and i keep it that way. im kind of the happy medium, i dont smoke as much as the smoker-partier-druggie-half of my friends.</p>

16

<p>Having like 3 cigarettes a month doesn’t really categorize you as a smoker.</p>

17

<p>yeah i tend to agree. i’m not a “smoker.” i “have smoked.” but it’s all the same to parents.
and anyway, this thread refers specifically to smoking cigarettes.</p>

18

<p>please ask any smoker…most started out with just a few</p>

<p>don’t be afraid…go ask someone who has been smoking a while</p>

<p>most it was just a few, then a few more…but hey, denial is a fun game to play</p>

<p>you smoke, you are a smoker…if you stop smoking, you are not a smoker</p>

<p>its like saying, I only drive 3 miles a day, so I am not a driver…well, you are driving arent you</p>

<p>so what is the # that makes someone a smoker- 2 a week, 10 a week, a pack…what is the line that you cross to make you a smoker</p>

<p>and beleive it or not, other "non adults’ consider someone who smokes cigarettes, no matter how many, a smoker</p>

19

<p>wh do something you have to hide from your “friends” wow</p>

<p>nice judgement of others by the way…i only smoke a little so I am better then those that smoke more</p>

<p>I say again…right again in a year, see if you aren’t “addicted”…</p>

20

<p>WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Slightly more U.S. teens are smoking cigarettes, researchers reported on Thursday in a study they say suggests efforts to stop children from smoking have stalled.</p>

<p>The latest analysis by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention finds the percentage of high school students reporting that they have smoked cigarettes in the past month increased to 23 percent in 2005 from 21.9 percent in 2003.</p>

<p>The increase is the first since a steady 40 percent decline in high school smoking rates between 1997, when 36.4 percent of high school students smoked, and 2003.</p>

<p>“The national decline in youth smoking observed during 1997 to 2003 might have stalled,” the CDC writes in its weekly report on sickness and death.</p>

<p>There are several possible reasons, said Dr. Terry Pechachek of the CDC’s Office of Smoking and Health. For one, states have not been consistently raising taxes on cigarettes, although such tax increases have been shown to reduce youth smoking.</p>

<p>States are also not funding educational campaigns in schools and the media like they used to, he said.</p>

<p>And, the researchers noted in the report, there have been “substantial increases in tobacco industry expenditures on tobacco advertising and promotion in the United States, from $5.7 billion in 1997 to $15.2 billion in 2003.”</p>

<p>“Additionally, after decades of decline, smoking in movies, which has been linked to youth smoking, increased rapidly beginning in the early 1990s and by 2002 was at levels observed in 1950,” they wrote.</p>