<p>Word. My former boss found out that her prep-school daughter was smoking during a high school junior-year-abroad in Europe. She informed the daughter and the program that if the smoking continued, the daughter would be brought home the same day the smoking was discovered, no questions asked, and she would be sent to the local public high school for the rest of the year and never go back to boarding school. Not surprisingly, the smoking stopped.</p>
<p>I watched ALL of my friends start smoking in middle school; most of them are unhappy smokers today. Based on what I’ve seen, if I found out my kid was smoking, I’d break out the very severest threats I had, including confiscating all their prized possessions and stopping money completely. I would treat a smoking kid as I would treat a kid shooting heroin – it’s an emergency. The message would be, if you want any semblance of a normal life in this house (or any benefit from my tuition dollars), you will stop right now. Even the most spoiled kids will toe the line when they realize you mean business about taking away all their stuff or similar threats.</p>
<p>CGM- You needn’t be so preachy and condescending. You pass off all of your rudeness and sarcasm as being rooted in care for the welfare of kids, but it comes off as rather caustic and offputting.</p>
<p>Well, my oldest (23 years old) smokes. He has made some not so great decisions in his life, this being one of them, IMO. No one else in the family smokes. None of my friends smoke. My father smoked for years, but finally quit when he got older. I don’t really know how you can control what someone else does, esp. an older teen or adult. So, basically, the rule is “no smoking in the house.” Just as it would be with any other adult. But as I said, he is the only person in the family, and even among my friends, that smokes. </p>
<p>So, I don’t get it. </p>
<p>He started when he was 16–junior in high school-- I think. When he started working it got worse. Everyone smokes on break. If I could do it over again, I wouldn’t have let him get a job in high school. Other than that, I can’t really think of anything that I could have done that might have helped. We’ve had talks about it. When confronted early on, he hid it and lied about it, saying he had quit. He was also <em>sure</em> that he would not get addicted. But within a few months he was hooked. He doesn’t smoke as much as he used to because he has no money. I’m hoping he’ll be able to quit. Last time he was home, he smoked very little. He never does it in front of me.</p>
<p>Anyway, I abhor smoking. But, I don’t equate it with being a heroin addict. ??? </p>
<p>Anyway, it is nice to hear your suggestions, those of you whose kids don’t smoke, but I wonder if you really would be able to stop someone who was hooked? I would really like to hear from someone whose kid does/did smoke and find out if there was anything they were able to do about it.</p>
<p>Citygirlsmom, I’m sorry I made you so angry. But if you are so concerned about lung health, then don’t waste your precious breath on someone who doesn’t give a **** about theirs.</p>
<p>edit: a lot of people do things they hide from friends. my parents enjoy a glass of wine sometimes with dinner (I know, they are such substance abusers, their habit must be fueling my own non-existent habit!), but they do not let on to their more conservative religious friends. are they bad people for doing that?</p>
<p>^Don’t worry about her. If the worst thing you do in your life is smoke half a pack of cigarettes a month for a few years in your teens consider youself a saint, you have nothing to be ashamed of.</p>
<p>Well having taken AP Biology and just having common sense…I know how dangerous smoking is. But assuming that there’s no possibility for moderation is delusional. It’s just as delusional as believing that cigarettes aren’t bad for you, or that you can’t get addicted.
I think the smartest thing parents can do to limit smoking is to limit pocket money and watch kids’ friends closely. But be happy if all your kid does is smoke a cigarette every few weeks. And FYI, I first smoked a cigarette 3 yrs ago and am still able to go for a month without and could probably go longer if I felt it was worth it. Tell me I’m addicted?
And fine I agree I’m a smoker. OK? Are you happy now?</p>
<p>Well I consider myself a liberal/progressive and I agree that we ought to tax the hell out of cigarettes…but they should remain legal and a choice. I agree that she has the condescending tone of most liberals (myself probably included :))</p>
<p>wow, attack me cause you want to smoke…nice</p>
<p>condescending cause i think smoking is gross, disgusting, and anyone who smokes is a fool? okay, I agree</p>
<p>keep being delulsional about smoking, go ahead, you can call me whatever you want, doesn’t make you not a fool</p>
<p>please go sit in front of your parents and light up, and smoke away, smoke in front of your little cousins, if you are so happy being a smoker and your parents don’t care then feel free to IGNORE ME, but I dare you to go sit at your parents dinner table and light up if its such a great thing</p>
<p>I condescend to smokers, so what…if that bothers you, too bad</p>
<p>smoking is a choice…last time i checked it was legal in this country…</p>
<p>as long as you’re of age… i have no problem with people who decide to do it regardless of the known risks… that’s their choice. Who am I to tell them how to live?</p>
<p>We can try to emphasize the dangers and the costliness of it…but ultimately the choice rests in the hands of the individual…</p>
<p>same goes for stupid people who sue mcdonalds for being obese…HELLO it was your choice to be eating that stuff 3 times a day…</p>
<p>for the record: i am not a smoker and am not a big fan of people who do it… but I am not one to tell them how they should/shouldn’t live their life…that’s their own personal choice. </p>
<p>Know the risks involved… know the consequences… the choice is up to you…</p>
<p>now… alcohol on the other hand… that’s a whole different story. Ya’ll should be much more concerned about drinking than people who smoke.</p>
<p>wow, attack me cause you want to smoke…nice</p>
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<p>condescending cause i think smoking is gross, disgusting, and anyone who smokes is a fool? okay, I agree</p>
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<p>keep being delulsional about smoking, go ahead, you can call me whatever you want, doesn’t make you not a fool</p>
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<p>please go sit in front of your parents and light up, and smoke away, smoke in front of your little cousins, if you are so happy being a smoker and your parents don’t care then feel free to IGNORE ME, but I dare you to go sit at your parents dinner table and light up if its such a great thing</p>
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<p>I condescend to smokers, so what…if that bothers you, too bad</p>
<p>there’s no such thing as “safety” when it comes to smoking… only varying degrees of being unsafe…the more you do it, the less safe it is…but it’s never safe to begin with…</p>
<p>thats just like safe sex… there’s nothing that is completely safe…obviously the more partners you have the more dangerous it is… the same concept applies here. </p>
<p>i’m not disagreeing with your decision to do it though… do whatever the hell you want… God bless America… :)</p>
<p>yeah true, i admit it it’s not safe. same as sex, drinking, driving, flying, swimming, eating…but its risky to a greater extent than most of those things</p>
<p>CGM- You said “nice judgement of others by the way…i only smoke a little so I am better then those that smoke more”
Then you said “I condescend to smokers, so what…if that bothers you, too bad”<br>
Ahhh I see, it’s ok to be judgemental if you don’t smoke, but if you do smoke it’s a no-no, I get it now. Get over yourself.</p>
<p>For someone with such firmly implanted beliefs, citygirl, I’m kind of surprised you even let your daughters hang around smokers. There’s plenty of existing research showing the negative impacts of secondhand smoke on non-smokers. If you’re gonna take a stand, lady, you may as well go all-out.</p>
<p>By the way, my parents would describe me in the same manner you use to describe your daughters. I’ve smoked plenty.</p>
<p>Finally, in response to the parent who equates tobacco and heroin: have you ever seen someone on heroin? Or, say, seen the differences between nicotine-induced withdrawl and withdrawl induced by heroin? Because, wow. You might want to rethink some things.</p>