<p>"I think sometimes a last minute invitation is just what it appears to be - it can imply you were a last minute consideration. "</p>
<p>And, so? @HarvestMoon1 I am very familiar with the kind of community you may have lived in. A lot of social considerations. You can miss out on a good, fun time concerning yourself with these. OR you can make the most of it. This is a grad party! Not a wedding. </p>
<p>
</p>
<p>This reminds me of the “rules” that women were supposed to follow in the '50s, regarding when a boy should invite you on a date for the following Saturday. He should ask you Monday or Tuesday for you to accept. If he asked you later in the week, you should turn him down, because you want him to know (or to think) that you have a boatload of suitors lined up who want your precious Saturday night. </p>
<p>In my experience, our customs have changed, and we as a society in general are much more casual these days. Also, as others have said, not being busy on a Saturday night no longer suggests that you are a social pariah. </p>
<p>ETA: S1’s best friend from childhood recently got married, and we learned we were on the “B” list for invitations – in other words, if enough “A” list folks declined, we would have been next. Frankly, I was thrilled that he thought of us enough to put us on the “B” list.</p>
<p>I had a similar last minute invite. I went and had a good time.</p>
<p>Well, first of all, this isn’t the same as a spontaneous event where EVERYONE found out last minute. The party had already been planned and the OP was invited last minute.<br>
Having said that, I would NOT take offense in this situation or see it as a slight in any way. The OP was not on the invite list, the hostess ran into her in the supermarket and decided to invite her at the last minute. So what?! The OP had no expectations of being invited to the event in the first place so this was a spontaneous invite on the part of the hostess. Take it for the nice gesture that it was. Where we are, things like grad parties are like that. We just sort of throw it out there to friends that aren’t really connected to the graduate and let them know that there is a party going on and to stop by. When I can I do and when I can’t I don’t.</p>
<p>No slight seen from here. I’d have gone to the party. </p>
<p>We know someone who was invited to a wedding the morning OF the wedding. The family had a last minute cancellation and had already paid for two dinners. They called a friend who had not been invited (really friend of parents, not bride or groom), and the couple was thrilled to fill the spot.</p>
<p>^ I did this once - my boyfriend and I substituted in for a couple who cancelled at the last minute at a friend’s sister’s wedding - was happy to have the spots not be wasted</p>
<p>We’ve had friends invite us last minute. We either went or didn’t, based on our own plans and interests. OP’s known this couple for years. The party was originally for the younger kids. It all makes sense to me. “Hey, if you’re free, why not come?”</p>
<p>VH, I was also on the B list for a wedding, and was thrilled to be invited, after a number of family members declined, I know my friend was happy to be able to extend the invite, if at a later date. However, too far a trip, and too late notice for my complicated work schedule. </p>
<p>I host a few large parties every year. Planning and hosting thrills me no end. The invitations get to be a nightmare, between lack of email addresses, snail mail addresses, and fighting winter weather to drop off paper invites. I truly want many folks in my community to come, but I have been known to see someone at last minute and offer a verbal invite. </p>
<p>I agree that life is too short to go looking for reasons to be offended. I would have gone if I didn’t have anything else cooking. Do people really care if someone knows you didn’t already have plans? Seriously?</p>
<p>Maybe OP will come back to tell us if she went. In this case, OP did say she wasn’t very close to the parents, so it wasn’t a surprise she wasn’t invited originally. In running into OP, they probably had a nice conversation, so the host said, “Hey, if you are not busy, why don’t you swing by.” It was a casual, but genuine invite. If I were OP, I would go if I wanted to, but I wouldn’t feel obligated. </p>
<p>On the other hand, if it was an invitation event, and I knew I was only invited after other people have turned it down then I am not sure if I would go. A friend of mine used to have an A and B list. She would send out the first batch first, then depending on the response, she would then decide if she should go to the B list.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t be offended and I’d go to the party if I were free. What I thought was strange was that the OP said she sent the kids graduation cards and $2. Why $2? If it were me and I wasn’t close to the kids but knew them and wanted to wish them well, I would just send the card. I think it’s the thought that counts. </p>
<p>OP posted:
Her S2 (second son) was attending the party, so she did send in a card and checks with S2, not $2.</p>
<p>^^^Need to get better reading glasses!</p>
<p>I got the impression OP did not attend. Said she sent cards/checks with her son.</p>
<p>OP was already going to send card/checks with her son because he was originally invited, but was wondering if she should go with the last minute invite.</p>
<p>LOL, on the $2, for a moment I thought “What a cheapskate!”</p>
<p>My extended family has had events where at the last minute, the head count was below what was already paid for and dad called several people on the day of the event. They showed up and everyone had a great time! It’s all what you want it to be–if you’re OK with casual invitations, your life can be a lot less stressful. </p>
<p>I know sometimes mailed invitations actually get lost in the mail. A friend was planning a party once and sent everyone mailed invitations. I received mine and asked a mutual friend if we should carpool and she said, “Sniff, sniff, I wasn’t invited!” I immediately called the hostess and told her that the friend hadn’t received the invitation and the hostess was so grateful and immediately called the mutual friend begging her to attend. The US Post Office never did deliver those lost invitations, so the poor hostess had to call EVERYONE to double-check on whether the guests received the invitations! So glad I found out early and we could avert the misunderstandings that sometimes grow from these mix-ups.</p>
<p>Where I come from, the proper response to a last minute invitation would be, “Why of course! Should I bring salad or dessert?”</p>
<p>This is a situation where I would completely understand a last minute invite: If I were having a party for one of my kids, and I have friends who do not know the kid so well, but I enjoy their company and would like them to come AND I don’t want them to feel obligated to bring a gift (or even bring one - it would be awkward), so I wouldn’t invite them. But if I then ran into them at the store that day of the party, a “Please stop by later on” invite would be made with the wish of please join us, and we do not expect you to bring a gift because it’s last minute. </p>
<p>What was awkward for me, was D’s college graduation party, where a woman I know from a support group I used to go to, showed up with her son, who D was high school friends with, and who was invited. She told me she ‘told’ her son that she was going to come along as her S’s date when he told her where he was going. Yea, she crashed the party and it was very uncomfortable for me. </p>