<p>I would not have been offended and would have gone if they were people that I wanted to see. When we had a graduation part for my son years ago, I invited people that I thought would want to attend. I didn’t invite others because I thought they wouldn’t enjoy themselves with a bunch of kids and in some ways it is like asking for gifts. If I had run into someone early in the day that I hadn’t invited and they seemed interested, I would invite them and I think that I could do it in a way so that the late invitee didn’t feel unwanted. My husband invited a few people that I hadn’t thought about but I was sure to let them know how happy I was that they wanted to be there for my son. Like a few others have said, graduation parties around here can be informal open house type events. </p>
<p>My daughter went to a Deb Ball on Saturday, and she was invited on Thursday. A family who had paid for the tickets couldn’t go, so my sister invited my daughter who happened to be in town (arrived on Tues). Sister had to provide the dress too, since my daughter hadn’t brought anything formal. Nana took her shoe shopping on Sat morning and she was transformed a la Cinderella by 2 pm.</p>
<p>For my daughter, the price was right (free to her as someone else had already paid the $200), the dress fit, she knew 20 or more of the kids. Why not?</p>
<p>OP here. Ok, I should have gone. I’m not good with social situations, especially spur of the moment ones. I’m an engineer and very introverted.</p>
<p>She just kind of yelled to me across the parking lot and the whole thing just seemed odd. Oh, and I sent more than $2 :-).</p>
<p>I might change my reply then - a ‘yell’ across the parking lot does see a bit odd. I wouldn’t have taken the invitation seriously. Had it been I ran into someone in the parking lot or store, and spent a few minutes talking/catching up with them, I would have gone. But a half-hearted attempt at an invitation like that would have left me feeling weird, too.</p>
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It was not a last-minute nor a spur-of-the-moment event so no, I would not have attended because my schedule is set at the very least the day before. But hey, I’m flexible if she tells me Johnny Depp asked for me then I would go. BTW, you did good sending cards and gifts.</p>
<p>OP said in the first post that she didn’t attend. And was embarrassed. </p>
<p>I agree, life is too short to find reasons to get upset. Grad parties around here are often very big open houses and I would have gone if I had no plans. </p>
<p>OP said she was embarrassed “about being invited at the last second.” Open houses are an entirely different thing, everyone is welcome at an open house and the invitation is very informal or even by word of mouth.</p>
<p>OP, I wouldn’t have gone either. Sounds like the, “let’s have lunch sometime”. I never believe people who say that, seems so insincere. Anyways, I have a hard enough time going to parties where I’ve been invited way in advance. </p>
<p>I admit to not being good at inviting people to parties that I view as a money grub. Grad parties to me are tricky, as it is a party for the grad and you are expected to give money to. I’m uncomfortable with the whole concept. I’ve had relatives who’ve made more at their grad parties than my kids did working an entire summer. </p>
<p>OP, we have an annual neighborhood party. On a few occasions, when the acceptances have been on the lower side, we have invited other friends who live in town but not in our immediate area. Other times, it was only neighbors. It’s a matter of capacity. People had a good time either way.</p>
<p>If I were you, I would have gone if you felt like it, or not if you didn’t. No big deal. But assuming good intentions is usually a good idea. :)</p>
<p>I never turned down free food. :D</p>
<p>Glad you gave a gift, especially if your kiddo and those hosting the party will be friends in college. Helps keep the relationships as smooth as possible. Certainly it was fine for you to politely decide not to come if parties aren’t your thing anyway. </p>
<p>I would not have gone since it was a last minute invitation. I would feel like I was invited out of an awkward moment of running into the host .</p>
<p>But I would invite someone , just as the party host did. We always end up with someone at our gatherings that wasn’t expected and I am okay with that because I have enough food / drink to accommodate surprise guests. </p>
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<p>And this is why I have never, ever been snarky when calling folks who haven’t responded to a formal invite. </p>
<p>I attended a party where we were a last minute invitation recently. We just stopped in briefly, because we really did have somewhere else to go. I would never have expected to be invited, because that would normally have meant inviting a much larger group of people. Which was obviously the reason we weren’t included initially. </p>
<p>In her place, I would not have issued a last minute invitation unless there were an unusual reason, such as someone in town unexpectedly. People can understand not being invited to everything, but IMO people should be given the courtesy of being made to feel that they were a first choice. </p>
<p>Her judgment call was that I would understand and mine was that her intentions were good. We both happened to be on the same page. It doesn’t always work out that way, though. </p>
<p>I would attend if I wnat to attend and I would not attend if I do not want to attend. I am not big on being embarassed, I do not experience this emotion often (social protocol is not any of my priority, I do not care, but other might, so rlevance of me going or not is zero), I rather do whatever makes sense at the moment </p>
<p>I agree with Harvest moon and Miami.
Graduation open houses are casual by definition, they arent dinner parties.
Invitations are also very casual, and the ones Ive attended have been mostly by word of mouth, not a formal invitation or even a phone call.
I didnt feel slighted in any way, life is too short to stand on ceremony, IMO.</p>
<p>I’d go if I wanted to go and could. It’s gotten difficult with some of these events as many people are getting increasingly casual about invites with emails and texts. Also party types morph over time. You start out maybe with it being a kids only format and the next thing you know you have a number of parents coming so then you just add the parents as you see 'em. I agree that the way this one was planned earlier, that you were made aware of it early, can make you feel like you got left out, but I would not dwell on it a second. </p>
<p>Most of the graduation parties are designed for the kids. Some kids will come on their own, some with their family. Often times several open houses will be attended on the same day.</p>
<p>I held a joint graduation from high school/ grade school/ 18th/10th birthday party for my two daughters, for which I sent invitations, just because it can be helpful to have a reminder on the fridge ( this was before smart phones were ubiquitous), and because I was using the party room at my moms condo across the lake.</p>
<p>But for younger Ds high school graduation, we tagged on to the open house of one of her friends, because they shared many of the same friends and it would be silly for everyone to have a separate party.</p>