<p>I wish you grandbabies, as well, DonnaL!</p>
<p>Hi
I have finished the book and many questions asked here could be somewhat answered by the author.
That is, if you’d agree with her outlook and value system of jobs, marriage and parenting.
There are point on mentors and mentees (queenbee talk, it was raised in the Yahoo CEO’s thread here)
Political twist (her page days, chief of staff days)
School outfit mishap resentment twisted into appreciation with humor toward volunteer hardcore stay at home moms.
All are in there and very easy quick read.
Enjoy!
And if you have a husband who is willing to discus household responsibilities, does dishes and takes turn on advancing career, it means in the end you have the sexiest spouse worthy of women porn. (her words! not mine)
so when you are choosing the partner, do not get fooled by good looks boyish charm or his performance in other area that is more immediate. (my words, not hers)
I was wondering if she is ever going to mention more about her first marriage but no. If, and only if she have had a child in that round, her view points must have been included single mothers and custody battles, in-laws such and such, bigger lean back factors many working mother have to deal, which mustn’t she know someone in that shoes, ever?</p>
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<p>wow, what it says, very, very interesting point.</p>
<p>razor- men better get used to that because women do not need them if they do not add value to their lives. That is how it should be- why bring someone into your life that does not add value to it. You can define value any way you like- to each their own.</p>
<p>Razorsharp, my husband actually understands what I was saying. He much prefers to have my salary and to split chores than he would like to have a dependent wife.</p>
<p>I don’t know tom1944. My impression is that men have less objection to being single than do women. Men don’t usually stay in relationships for fear of losing financial support. Demanding someone add value to your life does not sound like the basis for a positive relationship.</p>
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<p>If husbands often made such statements to their wives, what do you think the typical wife would think regardless of what she might actually tell her husband?</p>
<p>I think men do not like being single, women are often more emotionally independent. Women will leave a bad relationship, whether there is a new SO other or not. Whereas men will not leave until there is someone else. They stay in a relationship for fear of emotional support, or just have someone to come home to.</p>
<p>Haven’t always agreed with zoosermom, but in reading her many posts, I think her relationship works just fine for her. They have raised a nice family and they are still together.</p>
<p>poetgrl has a lot of grandbabies to give out. I may need her blessing at some point.</p>
<p>I wish you many healthy grandbabies, Oldfort, when you and your daughters are ready.</p>
<p>[Study:</a> Married People Happier Than Singles, Smart Women Make Better Wives - Yahoo! Voices - voices.yahoo.com](<a href=“Yahoo | Mail, Weather, Search, Politics, News, Finance, Sports & Videos”>Yahoo | Mail, Weather, Search, Politics, News, Finance, Sports & Videos)</p>
<p>Married men are happier than single men and married men are happier than married women. Married men are happier than any other people on the planet.</p>
<p>Most divorces are initiated by women and not by men.</p>
<p>You shouldn’t go by what you see on television sitcoms. If, Razorsharp, you can find me one study showing single men are happier than married men? I would be interested. I don’t think that has ever emerged from a study, though there have been several studies recently that say younger single women are happier than their married counterparts.</p>
<p>Married men also make significantly more money than single men, by about 35% or so, IIRC. Whereas, single women frequently earn more than marrieds.</p>
<p>I thought the old study was recently renewed: married men are physically and psychologically better off than single men. But the opposite holds for women.</p>
<p>Xpost, sorta.</p>
<p>zoosermom, enjoy your posts so much. Probably because you could be writing about my family’s life and are saying it better than I could.</p>
<p>Wishing you grandbabies also. If you get some, maybe I will also!</p>
<p>It was lookingforward, but I’m too lazy to find the new report.</p>
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<p>I am trying to address her comment without addressing her relationship of which I have no knowledge because I don’t know her. That is difficult to do. Maybe a better approach would be to ask if your (real or hypothetical) teen daughter started dating the captain of the high school football team and he told her she had to add value to his life because he is independent and had other options, what would you tell your daughter? I would tell her to find another boy to date.</p>
<p>Me, too, poetgrl. Really an xpost. Everyone can just take our word on it. ;)</p>
<p>My earlier concern is that women can be tough on other women, especially when they think women are wimping out. The book will sell.</p>
<p>I think the book is a good book. It is a perspective.</p>
<p>All the perspectives are valuable in your early twenties. And it’s an easy breezy read.</p>
<p>razor- so you think a marriage where each person adds value to the other is a problem. Why would anyone stay in a marriage where the other person did not offer some type of value. Again value is specific to each individual. What adds value to me may not add value for you. </p>
<p>Would you marry someone who took value away from you or did not add anything to your life. Your life would either be the same without them or better?</p>
<p>Razorsharp, you are missing context. This isn’t a new relationship, we have been together for thirty years. We are looking back from the perspective of my not having done the one thing in my life that I wanted desperately to do. Look at it this way. Because he got the long end of the stick during so much of our marriage and I was the one who had to put my dreams on hold, it is my turn now. I made it possible for my husband to have the life he wanted for decades. Now that the kids are grown and it is all about us, making some parity for me needs to be a priority. A good marriage must include both partners. If he can’t see that - which he can - then we have no future because I do,deserve some happiness.</p>
<p>Yes you do ZM, and I’m glad your husband sees this.</p>
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<p>Of course not. I think it is a problem when a wife tells a husband you must add value to my life because I am financially independent. This is a one way demand and not a productive one in my opinion. </p>
<p>I don’t think it makes a difference whether it is a new relationship or a 30 year relationship. It’s not healthy.</p>
<p>If a husband told his wife you have to give me sex because I am financially and personally independent, exactly how romantic would the wife feel?</p>
<p>I hope this thread continues, because it has me thinking about my value and D1’s directions- I raised her to be like many of the strong women on this thread and others. </p>
<p>But we can’t over analyze one poster’s relationship. It works. For more than the few reasons one can fit in a post.</p>