<p>Hey guys, hope all of you are well. I’m from FL and my dad was pushing for me to get into the Comm school at UVa to pursue a degree in accountancy. Given the job placement and prestige of the school, my dad willingly fronted thousands of dollars to send me out of state. Unfortunately I was denied admission from the McIntire School of Commerce. Now, he is pressuring me to come home, go to USF, get an accounting degree, get experience, and become a CPA. If I don’t, I can pay for school myself and essentially not return home.</p>
<p>Rest assured, I have mulled this decision over. The path is rather secure and the job and its opportunities stable. I love FL; the culture in Virginia doesn’t sit completely well with me. I have closer bonds at home than I do at school. I live 30 minutes form 4 different beaches and I could enjoy every day bathed in sunlight instead of depressing rain. There are a myriad of reasons I should agree to my dad’s decision, and just come home.</p>
<p>But all my life I’ve lived under his damn fist. And now, 1500 miles away I have the opportunity to do something at a great school with great opportunities and connections. I’ve essentially sabotaged my efforts to get into the Comm School (depression, laziness, etc. etc.), and I’m trying to see the silver lining. My current thoughts are to switch to Econ (with a finance concentration) and incorporate PoliSci/Stats/Psych as a double major or minor. </p>
<p>If you’ve read through this mountain of text, thank you. For those of you who offer idealized, but cliched advice, such as just go for it and leave FL behind, I do not currently have the means to support myself, in assets or liquid funds. But I’m considering doing it. Any thoughts?</p>
<p>Don’t do it. You could save money by coming home and paying out of pocket so you aren’t living with your dad. The debt from UVA would follow you until you’re 40 and if you have the chance to avoid it and you like FL culture then there is no reason to give yourself oodles of debt just to stick it to your dad.</p>
<p>First, don’t beat yourself up for not being selected for McIntire. The stats are deceiving as the applicant pool is an exceptionally qualified group of students. It’s easy to look back now and see what you’d have done differently, very few adults haven’t done it. We also realize that life is rarely a straight path and if we had stayed straight instead of turning we would have missed out on some of the best parts of our lives (like meeting spouses, making influential professional connections, etc.).</p>
<p>On practical matters you alone can’t take on the debt to attend UVa. You’d need a parent to cosign. I’m one of the biggest UVa supporters you’ll find, and I sympathize with how you’re feeling, but I’m also debt averse even if it were an option.</p>
<p>If you are really against starting back to school right away in FL maybe a gap year would help. Take a year and work, volunteer, recenter, and make sure you’re ready to be a student again. Holding a grudge against your father, no matter how justified you may feel it is, could be very destructive to your academic success and your health. Best of luck.</p>
<p>I’d like to say that if your at UVA then your not going to go into debt for a fact weathere or not your parents help you pay for schooling. UVA is one of the 3 schools in the nations that has a no loan policy. They award you with multiple scholarships and grants to pay for your entire schooling. Weathered you are instate or out of state you can receive finical aid and be have more than enough aid from the school to pay for all of your expenses. Talk to your financial aid office and they will explain everything to you about how to receive the aid you need. Don’t feel that you should be pressure to go home cause you can’t afford to pay for if on your own. UVA is a public IVY league school and would be a great opportunity rather than schools in Florida.</p>
<p>Good luck with a very difficult decision. I just wanted to say that I am very impressed that you are taking responsibility for the admission denial.</p>
<p>" I’ve essentially sabotaged my efforts to get into the Comm School (depression, laziness, etc. etc.)"</p>
<p>Most people try to blame others. Your clarity and ownership of the situation shows me that you will make the right decision and be a very successful, independent person!!!</p>
<p>Maybe you should consider the third option of a different FL school? If you got into UVA out of state then you must have qualified for Bright Futures in Florida. If you applied for it before you graduated from high school, that scholarship money is still available for you if you transfer back into a Florida school. The deadline for applying to transfer into accounting at the University of Florida is June 1. If long term you want to live and work in the state of Florida, U of F is a good option for making connections and earning a well respected degree. Plus, you’d also have a lot more freedom being a few hours away from home. I love UVA but there are more good options than just either UVA or USF.</p>
<p>@ transfer136 - I’m sorry but you are mistaken.<br>
The OP still has to file for FinAid using his parents information and receives an award based on their income just as he has been doing since he started as a student.
If he doesn’t have his father’s support it is unlikely that his parents are going to give their information.
-UVa is a school that meets 100% of demonstrated need, however that is based on their calculation using the Profile and can include a mix of grants, loans, and work study. There are a number of students every year, particularly OOS students, that are accepted however due to their ‘loan heavy’ financial aid offers have to choose another university that has offered a financial aid package that includes less loans making the total COA less. Each school calculates aid differently and depending on the methodology used one might be better for a student then another.</p>
<p>First, I suggest talking to Fin Aid. If your dad isn’t going to pay for anything, then he has no reason to claim you as a dependent anymore. Claim yourself and with little to no income, I’d be surprised if UVa wouldn’t give you Fin Aid. Talk to the ladies in that office and explain your situation and try to get some help.</p>
<p>On the flip side, if you don’t want to be at UVa anymore, as someone said earlier: the debt isn’t worth it to stick it to your dad. There’s some good schools in FL and it’s worth trying to take course there. I think it’s too late for transferring, but you could apply for Spring admission and be a part time student for summer/fall. Transferring isn’t all that hard/bad, I did it and I don’t see the stigma that you’re attached to one school for four years., it’s jsut that most people don’t want to apply to college twice.</p>
<p>Go back to FL. I’m going to address this in a slightly different manner. (1) Are you willing to be miserable just to stick it to your dad? (2) Do you actually understand how this would destroy your relationship with him? The man clearly loves you.</p>
<p>My general experience has been that trying to undermine your parents just makes you miserable. Story time: My dad’s one requirement for ugrad was to get a BS (the other major/minor could be anything), and we had a big fight over it during my first year. I was in an idealistic place where I wanted to major in foreign affairs and philosophy, etc. Considered sticking it to Dad and taking out major loans. I eventually said, well screw it, I’ll get a BS in Anthropology (no offense to Anthro majors, but that was not what my Dad was talking about…). Signed up for anthro classes, was miserable, went back and signed up for science classes. Ended up with two science majors and a random minor. And that isn’t even the tip of the iceberg.</p>
<p>I think your dad may know you better than you think. I never give mine enough credit, and the man is a saint for dealing with me. Half the time I try to do exactly the opposite of what he recommends. He used to stop me, but realized I would do what I wanted anyway. At the end of my rebellion and inevitable stress/grief on my side, I would inevitably call him and say those magic words: “Dad, you were right.” (That’s right, parents on this thread, chuckle all you want.)</p>
<p>Just a couple of warnings if you do decide to stick it to your dad:
It will take a huge toll on your relationship with your father. I could never imagine my life without my dad, and I would never be where I am (or who I am) without his support. So again I ask: Is alienating your dad worth an illusion of control?
You have literally no money. Your lifestyle as you know it will be gone. We never realize how much our parents pay for (health insurance, car + associated fees, maintenance, insurance, food, clothing, rent, utilities, play money, backup money, etc) When that money is gone, you’ll have to make large sacrifices.</p>
<p>I actually agree with your father regarding his concern of why would he pay 50K for you to go to UVa when you can get the degree you want for much less in your home state. I also give you props for owning your reasons for not getting into McIntire. Look at other schools on the ranking and apply to those as an independent. Do this sooner rather than later because of transfer application deadlines for applications. Hopefully you did not sabotage your McIntire efforts to the point of not being able to have a stellar transfer transcript. </p>
<p>I love UVa, but it sounds like Florida would be the best choice for this student, under these circumstances. </p>
<p>To reinforce a point above, UVa has a loan cap for persons who have proven financial need. That means that after you reach a certain level of federal student loans (I think around 26K?), they intend to increase the AccessUVa aid that is offered. For most students with need, that happens in their eighth semester. </p>
<p>As I understand it, if you take more than 8 semesters to graduate, you shouldn’t expect AccessUVa aid for it. Also, if you miss the application deadlines, they say you could be ineligible for aid.</p>
<p>I don’t agree with the few colleges that have a no loan policy. A student should pay for a share of their costs and should have some “skin in the game.” The goal is to avoid excessive loan debt, particularly to avoid the need for much more expensive private loans.</p>
<p>“Under his damn fist”-The way your are living your life is rendering you depressed. I’d recommend that a good start would be for your to crawl out of father’s control. Go your own way. Work & take night classes. The main purpose of which is to gauge your feelings. If you feel happier going your own way then you’ve found the cure. (BTW my assumption is that you are very young and have time to do the community college/work/university thing)? GL.</p>
<p>you have some good advice. I would definaltely go back to FL. You already said you have more friends and the beaches and that fits your lifestyle. </p>
<p>Just because you are in FL doesn’t mean you have to live with your dad. And I know its hard to live at home when you want to have that independency. My parents would not send me away to college since one was a mile away from my house and I had to live at home. I also worked but could not afford to live away and had to pay half my college…despite them being able to afford it. It was not as bad as you think. </p>
<p>The debt would be a killer and not worth it. My kids gave up better schools than where they are to be debt free. But they are so happy. In the end, its what you do and your desires to reach your dreams. I know plenty of kids from Ivies that are still unemployed or having tough time getting a job. I also knew people that gave up their jobs after getting Ivy Masters/phds to pursue a passion in art or be a stay at home parent. </p>
<p>Better to live stress free, debt free, enjoy life while pursuing your dream job.</p>