<p>If you are concerned for your parents and their thoughts, try googling up PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays). Some parents can grow in their understandings, although I think eventually you’ll need to let them know who you are just for your own well-being. How long can you keep such an important secret? It must be complicated, but so many others have “coming out” stories, good, bad and in-between.</p>
<p>An interesting comment from one of my cousins, when his younger brother came out in the l980’s, was that this caused him to “get his brother back.” I asked what he meant. He said that the tension of not telling his parents made his brother anxious and upset. When he came out, he began to find an outlet to express his generosity, friendship, sense of humor, sense of community.</p>
<p>Of the parents, his Mom discovered PFLAG and found it very helpful to her thoughts. The Dad stayed wary until he finally passed away. The “out” cousin has a fascinating career, good investments, lifelong partner, and lives in San Francisco. I’m glad he didn’t waste any more energy on what others thought and finally began to live his own life.</p>